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back to article Here lies /^v.+b$/i

After I've gone In a melancholy mood, this week. Went back home to have a look at Dad's bench. He was a Classics scholar, actually; went up to Cambridge and everything. And so above his name and dates on the brass plaque screwed into the wood, instead of "He loved this place" or something equally fatuous, it says: ORE STABIT …

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How about....

Simply

"Goodbye, World"

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Pint

But in Basic:

10 PRINT "GOODBYE, WORLD"

20 END

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Anonymous Coward

I'd rather die than use BASIC

Oh !

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Silver badge

Or, you could be more dramatic

10 PRINT "GOODBYE, "

20 END

30 PRINT "WORLD"

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Flame

Jeeeeez

I love the concept of the epitaph, but merely looking at Javascript makes my eye twitch. I beg of you, choose Pascal, choose C#, choose ANYTHING but that monstrosity.

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Bronze badge

JS

My first thoughts were JavaScript for its elegance, or PERL because we are talking text, and it is THE text processing language, but on greater reflection I think there is surely nothing more appropriate than COBOL

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Happy

How about ...

Do Stuff

until

End

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Anonymous Coward

Either

void life_status(){ return null; }

Or, if special characters can't be carved in granite slabs:

He liked Worms, worms like him.

Ask for the capital W to be in bold.

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Pirate

Be language neutral

print('goodbye, world');

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Thumb Up

Memories

Reminds me of a java irc bot somebody made, which at first, fell over at the classic:

x=1; while(x>0){ echo "Hello World!"; }

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Silver badge

How about English, Stob?

My headstone will read:

I came, I saw, I understood, I cried.

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Mushroom

how about

RTFA?

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Silver badge

@serviceWithASmile

How about looking up "trenchant"?

A little satire & irony wouldn't hurt, either ...

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Anonymous Coward

Brainfuck

Can only really be one candidate: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

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Anonymous Coward

What to choose?

Pascal - the first proper language I learnt and one I can still think in, as opposed to continuously translating

or

Objective C (SunOS vintage before Jobs got his hands on it). I remember the joys of writing my first polymorphic Edit buffer [[copyBuffer copy this ] paste]. Given an epitaph of

[[afterLife cut this] paste]

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Happy

Definatley Pascal or it's children.

try

Living;

finally

Break;

end;

ps: I know the break is redundant, it is artistic licence.

pps: The reg is balls for displaying code....

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Silver badge

I'd certainly go for a Pascal family lanuage...

repeat

try

while fun do stuff;

except

curse(loudly);

end;

until fatal;

decompose;

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Python

import lifeafterdeath

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you inspired me.....

from lifeafterdeath import paradise

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Cant be sure of that

from lifeafterdeath import *

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Algol 68?

I think I recall seeing a rough approximation to The 12 Days of Christmas forming a syntactically valid Algol 68 program (though I might have imagined it over the intervening decades) - not necessarily appropriate words for a headstone but presumably it's an indication that other sentiments might be expressed (as well as an indication why the language never caught on).

Not that it need be a complicated message: "if I.exists() then raise alarm" should suffice for most purposes.

Alternatively, I think I have somewhere a listing of a Modula-2 compiler which is of no use for any living creature and, if stood next to your last resting place, would provide plenty of space for the bereaved to add their own messages at the final END;

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Hmm

IF HeartBeatPresent = True AND BreathingInAndOut = True THEN

Dig me up this f***ing instant

ELSE

Leave flowers and beer below

END IF

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This post has been deleted by its author

Coat

Google special

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

// Tombstone_Header.h

// ------------------------------

//

// Author: None

//

// Copyright: Google

//

// License: Mine!!!

//

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

IF HeartBeatPresent = True AND BreathingInAndOut = True THEN

Dig me up this f***ing instant

ELSE

Leave flowers and beer below

END IF

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1

Not what you want....

do

spin

while time>0

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Stop

Ultimate injection attack

Assuming these entries might go into some funeral director's database you could ask for something that will end up as an awesome SQL injection attack resulting in your name going on every headstone created that week.

For some value of "awesome".

And where has the headstone icon gone?!

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Here lies Little Bobby Tables?

http://xkcd.com/327/

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hope for the best...

$live{forever} or die $trying

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PJI
Bronze badge
Happy

Ksh

echo life >/dev/null 2>&1

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How about

tried{

}caught

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I know C, C++ and C# best

extern void graham(char& worms);

The worms go in, the worms go out. I'll be cremated. When I'm done, I won't be returning from the afterlife (if one exists) with any information for you. And if you know me, you can fill in the details of what I got up to.

Although

Body graham = gcnew Body;

has a certain ring to it. Someone else set my body up for me. And when I'm finished with it, someone else is going to have to free its resources, bcos I'll be done processing.

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Oh, another one

for(;soldiers->game();this->bugger());

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Silver badge

Letters, digits.

exit(1);

That is all.

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Bronze badge

Bit pessimistic!

exit(0);

Shirley?

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Letters, digits.

For a normal ending, yes - but in this case something went wrong: I died.

And, cunningly, the value of one indicates that one person has left the building.

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Re: Bit pessimistic!

Not if you go out the same way you came in: kicking and screaming.

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Silver badge

C#

stob.Dispose()

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Not recommended usage

It's generally better to combine IDisposable with the using statement, but

using(stob) { ... }

sounds a bit cynical for an epitaph. Maybe a C++ style ~stob() would be more whimsical.

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using

It can be good practice, but being dead isn't considered great practice for a programmer.

Therefore, the unshielded stob.Dispose() should be adequate.

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Pirate

eh...

IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.

PROGRAM-ID. VERITY.

PROCEDURE DIVISION.

BEGIN.

STOP RUN.

been too long, so there may be errors, but if you want to be remembered in perpetuity, choose an ancient language that will be around for all eternity...

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Facepalm

Whatever you do...

...don't use Lisp, or one of the Lisp-like languages. That would just be cruel, especially if the stone carver misses a ( or ). (How embarrassing it would be for the epitaph to be syntactically incorrect by accident)

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Stop

Should cover most bases...

Exit(1);

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Silver badge

X-Face header?

Usenet will (of course) never die - one of these might be appropriate: http://ace.home.xs4all.nl/X-Faces/

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Coffee/keyboard

how about

how about a simple

ECHO "Life"

or for a more limited audience

BEGSR life

EVAL life = false

SETON LR

ENDSR

My last try

Throw New LifeNotFoundException("[pulse not found]", e)

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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Now you're speaking my language

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Gold badge
Happy

Re: how about

Sorry, any headstone message should be delivered in LR Total Time by definition. Nothing gets more final than that....

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Python

from future import disease.cure

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Joke

I will go out with style: Geordie

The only programming language suitable to put on your tombstone is GEORDIE, or as is more commonly known in the ultra-geeky community - Gulping Excessively Often Ruins Decent Indian Edibles.

<begin tombstone>

If ya ganna smork ya tab in ear,

ah'll belt ya from ear to Geeatsheed, mun

</aye enough>

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Silver badge

I may only be an amateur programer...

but I am a fully fledged Geordie and I still have no idea why you'd put that on a tombstone.

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Happy

mine..

Vedi

veci

veni

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