Here lies /^v.+b$/i
After I've gone In a melancholy mood, this week. Went back home to have a look at Dad's bench. He was a Classics scholar, actually; went up to Cambridge and everything. And so above his name and dates on the brass plaque screwed into the wood, instead of "He loved this place" or something equally fatuous, it says: ORE STABIT …
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Or, you could be more dramatic
10 PRINT "GOODBYE, "
20 END
30 PRINT "WORLD"
Jeeeeez
I love the concept of the epitaph, but merely looking at Javascript makes my eye twitch. I beg of you, choose Pascal, choose C#, choose ANYTHING but that monstrosity.
JS
My first thoughts were JavaScript for its elegance, or PERL because we are talking text, and it is THE text processing language, but on greater reflection I think there is surely nothing more appropriate than COBOL
Either
void life_status(){ return null; }
Or, if special characters can't be carved in granite slabs:
He liked Worms, worms like him.
Ask for the capital W to be in bold.
Memories
Reminds me of a java irc bot somebody made, which at first, fell over at the classic:
x=1; while(x>0){ echo "Hello World!"; }
How about English, Stob?
My headstone will read:
I came, I saw, I understood, I cried.
@serviceWithASmile
How about looking up "trenchant"?
A little satire & irony wouldn't hurt, either ...
Brainfuck
Can only really be one candidate: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck
What to choose?
Pascal - the first proper language I learnt and one I can still think in, as opposed to continuously translating
or
Objective C (SunOS vintage before Jobs got his hands on it). I remember the joys of writing my first polymorphic Edit buffer [[copyBuffer copy this ] paste]. Given an epitaph of
[[afterLife cut this] paste]
Definatley Pascal or it's children.
try
Living;
finally
Break;
end;
ps: I know the break is redundant, it is artistic licence.
pps: The reg is balls for displaying code....
I'd certainly go for a Pascal family lanuage...
repeat
try
while fun do stuff;
except
curse(loudly);
end;
until fatal;
decompose;
Algol 68?
I think I recall seeing a rough approximation to The 12 Days of Christmas forming a syntactically valid Algol 68 program (though I might have imagined it over the intervening decades) - not necessarily appropriate words for a headstone but presumably it's an indication that other sentiments might be expressed (as well as an indication why the language never caught on).
Not that it need be a complicated message: "if I.exists() then raise alarm" should suffice for most purposes.
Alternatively, I think I have somewhere a listing of a Modula-2 compiler which is of no use for any living creature and, if stood next to your last resting place, would provide plenty of space for the bereaved to add their own messages at the final END;
Hmm
IF HeartBeatPresent = True AND BreathingInAndOut = True THEN
Dig me up this f***ing instant
ELSE
Leave flowers and beer below
END IF
Google special
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
// Tombstone_Header.h
// ------------------------------
//
// Author: None
//
// Copyright: Google
//
// License: Mine!!!
//
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
IF HeartBeatPresent = True AND BreathingInAndOut = True THEN
Dig me up this f***ing instant
ELSE
Leave flowers and beer below
END IF
Ultimate injection attack
Assuming these entries might go into some funeral director's database you could ask for something that will end up as an awesome SQL injection attack resulting in your name going on every headstone created that week.
For some value of "awesome".
And where has the headstone icon gone?!
I know C, C++ and C# best
extern void graham(char& worms);
The worms go in, the worms go out. I'll be cremated. When I'm done, I won't be returning from the afterlife (if one exists) with any information for you. And if you know me, you can fill in the details of what I got up to.
Although
Body graham = gcnew Body;
has a certain ring to it. Someone else set my body up for me. And when I'm finished with it, someone else is going to have to free its resources, bcos I'll be done processing.
Letters, digits.
For a normal ending, yes - but in this case something went wrong: I died.
And, cunningly, the value of one indicates that one person has left the building.
Re: Bit pessimistic!
Not if you go out the same way you came in: kicking and screaming.
Not recommended usage
It's generally better to combine IDisposable with the using statement, but
using(stob) { ... }
sounds a bit cynical for an epitaph. Maybe a C++ style ~stob() would be more whimsical.
using
It can be good practice, but being dead isn't considered great practice for a programmer.
Therefore, the unshielded stob.Dispose() should be adequate.
eh...
IDENTIFICATION DIVISION.
PROGRAM-ID. VERITY.
PROCEDURE DIVISION.
BEGIN.
STOP RUN.
been too long, so there may be errors, but if you want to be remembered in perpetuity, choose an ancient language that will be around for all eternity...
Whatever you do...
...don't use Lisp, or one of the Lisp-like languages. That would just be cruel, especially if the stone carver misses a ( or ). (How embarrassing it would be for the epitaph to be syntactically incorrect by accident)
X-Face header?
Usenet will (of course) never die - one of these might be appropriate: http://ace.home.xs4all.nl/X-Faces/
how about
how about a simple
ECHO "Life"
or for a more limited audience
BEGSR life
EVAL life = false
SETON LR
ENDSR
My last try
Throw New LifeNotFoundException("[pulse not found]", e)
The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.
Now you're speaking my language
Re: how about
Sorry, any headstone message should be delivered in LR Total Time by definition. Nothing gets more final than that....
I will go out with style: Geordie
The only programming language suitable to put on your tombstone is GEORDIE, or as is more commonly known in the ultra-geeky community - Gulping Excessively Often Ruins Decent Indian Edibles.
<begin tombstone>
If ya ganna smork ya tab in ear,
ah'll belt ya from ear to Geeatsheed, mun
</aye enough>
I may only be an amateur programer...
but I am a fully fledged Geordie and I still have no idea why you'd put that on a tombstone.
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