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back to article PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals reportedly plans to launch a porn site. The website, at peta.xxx, will be "a pornography site that draws attention to the plight of animals", according to Reuters, which cited a spokesperson. With thousands of well-known companies reluctantly queueing up to pay up to block their …

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Poor Peta 23 from Essex...

Hope she wasn't planning on launching a site.

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Coat

Don't let a good elephant go bad

Eat it today, before it spoils.

(I can hear the humor-challenged, trying to shame me with, "Tusk, tusk!")

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Pack your trunk

... that's all I got.

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Stop

April?

Could it be that an organisation involved in publicity for their cause is *shock* seeking publicity? I'll offer odds that nothing actually comes of/on this.

Although I suppose nekked ladies stroking their pussies would work.

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pussies?

nah, they're just fucking bats

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/title

I can tell you something, trying to get my rocks off while skippy the mistreated puppy looks at me with his big brown eyes, isnt really gonna do it for me.

It may just become one of those "special interest" sites.

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Coffee/keyboard

I need a new keyboard

see title.

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Thumb Up

porn?

Quick stock up on rhino horn.

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Facepalm

Oh gods..

They will beat themselves [off] like Chipperfield Monkeys...

Or as I said more than once to a rather animal loving ex "Arent you supposed to be *walking* the dog?". Still I suppose the elderly labrador got some exercise.

I dont even want to imagine the human basket cases they'll manage to recruit for this. The combination of bulgarian airbags, centipede level self esteem and animal rights fanatics makes even my mind weeble and curl up into a protective ball.

To quote "We taught a Lion to eat Tofu..."

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Joke

I see 'elderly labrador'

But I read 'old son of a bitch'

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Facepalm

umm

That wasnt a euphemism, trust me on this

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Pictures or it didn't happen

or on second thoughts, perhaps not.

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Coat

PETA porn

Am I the only one thinking "oh god not another Animal farm"

mines the dirty mac with suspect stains on it, ta

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I can't think of a more appropriate use of the domain

Infact, I think they should move all their online operations to it...

media whores.

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It'll be filth

Just try to imagine animals - naked.

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WTF?

Ok, now I'm officially confuzzled

There's an infamous online poster with the words "Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten" below a picture of a cute kitten jumping in some grass.

So does that mean if I don't subscribe to PETA's masturbation site then some animals will die because PETA couldn't save them, but if I do subscribe then kittens will die on a regular basis?

I think my brain is about to asplode!

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Joke

title

thats almost like the infamous Buttered Cat Array.

Piece of toast buttered, attached to the back of a cat. Drop said Cat&Toast off ledge somewhere and watch in awe as subject rotates in midair.

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FAIL

Re: Ok, now I'm officially confuzzled

> So does that mean if I don't subscribe to PETA's masturbation site then some animals will die because PETA couldn't save them, but if I do subscribe then kittens will die on a regular basis?

Don't feel too bad - since the majority of the animals PETA "saves" are eithanized anyway, kittens will die one way or another.

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Black Helicopters

kittens go boom...

Nah, thats not God killing them, thats the US Army looking for landmines on the cheap. Oh wait, USA and God are one and the same.

PETA have been moderately cracked for years, but recently it seems the animal snuggling fanaticism has finally reached a terminal stage. These are the sort of people who would carpet bomb a zoo to release a single fennec fox..(which would then go batshit nuts and savage everything in reach up to and including the Landcruiser, fennecs temperament being similar to what youd get if a jack russell and a tasmanian devil had babies).

Ive a thought, why dont we lock PETA and the Westboro Baptists in a room made up to be a real life 'worms' level... Entertainment with a practical result. No one loses, even the animal feedmarket would benefit, although I wouldnt say animals fed on the result would be wise to eat.

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Coat

And then you butter the cat

I have been told that buttering the back of a cat, in a similar way, would cause a rip in space-time.

I doubt that PETA would appreciate that, though.

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I can imagine

It would more likely cause several rips in your forearms due to resistance from the aforementioned moggy.

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Cat& Toast...

Cat licks butter off toast then lands on paws. Later, toast lands on your head as you walk through a door. Toast, of cause, is covered with cat slobber.

Sometimes reality bites. Sometimes it just giggles at you from behind the sofa.

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Happy

Mmmmm. butter

stop!.... your making me hungry!

Seriously though how is this org still around, there are REAL organizations that are more about protection of animals (ASPCA for example) that don't also hate humans.

Self hating jerks and it makes me laugh when they "free" animals from a zoo and then that same wild animal turns around and kills them.

Animals deserve not to be abused, but trust me, most animals (especially top level predators) would not only abuse you, they would have fun doing it and then eat whats left over.

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Black Helicopters

@Jemma -- This is what happens with the fall of organized religion

As I've been saying for years (and I'm far from being alone on this), since the mainstream religions have fallen out of favour over the past 40-50 years (since Sundays meant church bells across town, putting on your Sunday best and so on), the religiously inclined have needed an outlet which they've no longer been getting.

Traditional religions, with all their rituals, history, customs, beliefs and different interpretations of the Bible etc. would capture, involve and tie up most of these people for decades if not a lifetime. Oh the terrible irony of it; in effect, the church was our protector and savior and we never knew it at the time Churches were being debunked in the '50s, '60s and '70s.

Now that much of this traditional belief infrastructure has gone we've rampant loonies on the loose. Animals, the deep green movement and environmentalism are obvious places for them to end up. Trouble is, they're turning out to be more than just an irritation. The more offbeat and eccentric they are the more dangerous they're becoming to mainstream society.

Unfortunately, we really do need to take them seriously by finding ways to undermine and naturalise them before they do too us much damage.

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Meh

@Rob Dobs -- Right, Nature's not always nice and PETA is trying to reform it...

...by trying to reform us first! Which, if you think about it even for a moment, is not natural.

Where else in nature does this strange form of logic exist? If anything, this type of thinking is like a recessive gene, that if left to its own devices, would make us humans extinct.

When you mention this to these ratbags their response is often 'if humans go extinct then so be it'.

Instinctively, my genes are almost uncontrollably against that idea.

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Devil

a mixture of curiosity and terror

Indeed...

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Trollface

Yummy!

People Eating Tasty Animals

People Everywhere Take Air

Please Egress This Atmosphere

Plant Earth Them's Aliens

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Anonymous Coward

Peta smut

http://www.eclectech.co.uk/pettingzoo.php

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Joke

Ummm.....

Bestiality?

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Anonymous Coward

Yeah, I was wondering about that

My understanding is that unlike many similar organization PETA's position is that bestiality is alright as long as the animal isn't coerced or harmed. And it would certainly provide a generous amount of what PETA loves most (publicity).

On the other hand, there would be some legal issues. Bestiality porn is legal in the US, but bestiality itself, ranges from illegal to gray depending on the state. And of course that would make the site illegal in many countries including the UK.

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Hmmm

Would this fall under extreme porn laws ? Going to peta for porn is bit disturbing.

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WTF?

"a pornography site that draws attention to the plight of animals"

I can't imagine this site in any way that wouldn't violate the OPA

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Bronze badge

time for PETA to do the right thing

There are lots and lots and lots of poor, innocent, misunderstood, _hungry_ sharks out there. (See http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/shark-week/ for more) Feed PETA to the sharks.

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Anonymous Coward

Gives a whole new meaning to...

...Spanking the monkey.

Why don't these people just go home. Re-form their organization as:

People Eating Tasty Animals. Works for me!

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Coat

Gives a whole new meaning to

Gives a whole new meaning to "People Eating Tasty Animals", now doesn't it?

I shan't go further in deference to the sensibilities of the Scottish Government - I wouldn't want The Reg classified as "extreme porn".

Mine's the one with "Death to Media Whoring Organizations" on it.

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FAIL

Beastiality ?

I thought that sex with animals was illegal in a lot of countries. Don't think they thought this through.

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Marketing Porn

Hope that this is the start of major brands using hardcore porn for marketing.

Particularly looking forward to '2 Girls 1 Cup-a-Soup'

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Anonymous Coward

Good Lord!

Oh dear lord.

Lemon-pledge party also comes to mind.

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Go

The Lemon-Tea Party

Surely.

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FAIL

"a mixture of curiosity and terror"

Kittie porn?

Will no-one think of the Chinchillas?

Sooooooo, "Ethical Treatment of Animals" through exploiting and abusing (presumably consenting) human females?

Oh the delicious irony of claiming the moral high ground from the bottom of a pit of degradation.

I've no doubt that this is merely a cheap publicity stunt and any such website will just be Rickrolling for their intellectually vacuous philosophy.

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Linux

no tuxes allowed

I can surely imagine that PETA's porn palace will have special sections for "cougars," "bears," "cubs," and... "furries."

But hopefully no nude penguins.

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Trollface

"a pornography site that draws attention to the plight of animals"

Err, perhaps they'd better read the Extreme Porn Legislation carefully or otherwise block it in this country otherwise...

... on second thoughts, forget I mentioned it!

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Is it wrong...

... to smash small mammals with a mallet while I rub one out watching their xxx site?

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Coat

"I'd rather go naked than wear fur"

I gave up on this after the cat nearly clawed my eye out.

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Devil

Will we see . . . ?

Hot, nude models posing next to garbage cans filled with the corpses of animals that PETA has "rescued"?

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Anonymous Coward

Peta .XXX rebrand

They'll need a name change for the world of smut - People Eating Tasty Animals just doesn't cut it for grumble flick production. "Perverts Embracing Tarty Aardvarks" seems to fit the bill, but might just fall foul of out delightful extreme porn laws, although "Pornographers Enjoy Titillating Animals" might just slip by the censors.

Sorry, had to.

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What about...

Perverts Entering Tarty Aardvarks?

Porn Encompassing Titfucking Antelopes?

Just crossed my mind that we all seem to be thinking about bestiality, i.e. human/animal porn - they might just be planning to show David Attenborough reruns with Colobus monkeys, and other BBC classics.

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Coat

IMHO...

...the spat between PETA and Go Daddy is just a pachyderm nonsense.

BTW, if you subscribe to PETA's xxx site, will they respond with a "Wank You" note?

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