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back to article London rioters should 'loose all benefits'

Amid angry calls for UK rioters to face plastic bullets, water cannon, the Army, a spell in the Army, jail or all of the above, comes this e-petition demanding that the feral youth of Britain be stripped of their state hand-outs. Or rather, it insists that convicted public disorder offenders "loose all benefits", which we …

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Never mind the spelling feel the justice

Lets hang all the loiters and rotters!! Who needs Ejukashun!!

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jai
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and cue....

and cue the Pink Floyd soundtrack playing in the background...

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Anonymous Coward

loose the benefits, and tie a nose around their necks!

they should be well hung, overdrawn, and courted!

( or maybe we should just send them to a Gulag instead. )

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I imagine

That quite a few of them are "well hung over" this morning. They might be "drawn", depending on whether police still use sketch artists and hopefully "courted" very swiftly while the guy in the funny wig clocks up some overtime.

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FAIL

had some mates try to get me to sign this

Surely most of the rioters are too young to have benefits and the older ones that are old enough are going to have them taken away by the Condems anyway, so it's a zero loss case for them.

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benerfits

there baby making 18 year old's(that are now maybe 30 ish) could lose all benefits like child benefits as well

the problem is that the system is setup in an way that you get Child benefits so the poorer end of the people make baby's so they get the benefits, the government need to fix this issue but not sure how

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Anonymous Coward

(untitled)

Flat rate family allowance. That would mean there is no incentive beyond the first child.

This includes not giving brand new 4 bed houses to people who contributed nothing more than DNA to society.

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Engerlish

3/10

See me after class.

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ways to discourage rioting

i much prefer my petition, to use the DfID budget to create a Corps of peacekeepers....... which could act as a Military Aid to Civilian Authorities force quite adequately, and would allow the army to get on with what they are supposed to do; invading other peoples countries.

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/2375

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Great idea!

They could wear a paramilitary-style uniform and be drawn from the civilian population. They could maintain the peace, enforce the common law and apprehend trouble-makers. I suggest they be called Urban Officials.

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Urban Officials...

As in officers of the polis? Very good, Sir!

Sadly, I suspect that State Auxiliaries, or SA, would be the more likely outcome of any populist, knee jerk reaction ostensibly aimed at reinforcing the official police. It's like the habit, in the USA, of passing laws named after dead kids - stuff that seems a good idea at the time, to some, usually turns out to have some pretty grim unintended consequences, for many.

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Pint

good idea

I think they should have armbands to easily identify them. They could also act as a moral suggestion officer too. If they dress in black they might stand out too.

Great idea. I support it.

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Meh

Urban Officials

But they might just stand around saying there's nothing they can do until the law gives them more power.

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Pint

Taxpayers lose out either way!

Cut the benefits and they all have bugger to lose, so they start up again, we then have to pull them in once more and lock 'em up, which costs us more money!

Catch them and have them out doing community service orders, digging ditches, clearing gutters and drains, plenty of waste grounds need clearing of rubbish, in fact plenty of city streets right now need cleaning up! All that raw man-power is going to waste. They have enough energy to smack the front of TESCO and COMET in, they have enough energy to do some manual work helping the local communities they live in, I'll happily pay for wardens to make sure they're on chain-gangs doing their bit!

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Coat

In the context of this story..

Surely you should have said "The Taxpayers loose anyway" ;)

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Make them clean gutters and drains

With their tongues.

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Coat

Use them in 'green' energy production

Chain them to exercise bikes attached to generators and get them to generate electricity 8 hours a day and feed it into the grid. The ultimate in renewable power and they'd be too knackered to cause trouble afterwards.

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Fah

Just burn them

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Unhappy

Yeh but

Who is going to pay for the high viz vests, hard hats and safety goggles 'cos some Elf and Safty twonk regards weeding the flower beds in the local park the equivalent of sending them down the mines.

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Big Brother

I thought

I thought you were going to suggest throwing them in the power station furnace.

Neds could be the new green energy source of the future. And carbon neutral.

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Make it two 6 hour shifts separated by a 2 hour break,

and you've got yourself a deal.

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FAIL

Slight problem

I think it's a great idea, even signed the petition. But, What happens when these "yoofs" need food and basic living needs? Do they loot and riot again? More than likely.

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Go

for a while....

then they perish. wooahhahahaha!

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Facepalm

So... let me get this straight...

You understand the very obvious critical flaw with the idea, but still decided to sign the petition?

Some people really don't deserve a voice...

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Devil

So the elephant in the room is...

That benefits to those who could, but won't, work productively for a living are basically a bribe to encourage them not to commit crime?

Working for a living is a perfectly valid alternative for these people, rather than state hand-outs, or crime.

If you are prepared to stand ankle deep in shit and shovel all day, there will always be a job for you. It's often a question of pride, or more alarmingly, that they are far better off on benefits than working. Enough people have come to this country to find work - and have found it - that the argument that they can't find a job is simply bullshit. Unemployed people are too lazy too chase a job, or too proud to do the sort of work available. I am not - before you spit out your cornflakes - suggesting that those people who are between jobs and waiting for the RIGHT opportunity to come up are in the wrong here - and these people very often support themselves during such times.

I bet most of the people reading this site have a job, and have to grind the 9-5, and weren't out looting. Why should you tolerate other people not playing by the rules, and taking on the consequences of cleaning up after these scum?

Fill the water cannon with bleach and really clean up the streets next time they riot. And maybe the media can stop pushing chavdom in our faces constantly - I really don't give a shit what Kerry Katona is doing now, and I wouldn't give you a pint of cold sick for a magazine with Jordan's latest self promotion in. Stupidity and being lauded for nothing more than looks or outrageous behaviour is a tired and pathetic story and we should no longer give it any column inches.

AC, cause this is spoken from anger, and I'd rather people didn't start thinking I read the Daily Fail or something like that.

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Good ideas there

Force them to work a McJob and if they refuse its the army and Afghanistan for them.

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Mushroom

Literacy

You seem literate enough to be able to have figured out why this argument is hot air. Google UK literacy rates, go on, I dare you. When the Polish immigrants have better English than you do, you're slightly screwed.

Literacy rates have been appalling since at least 1999 (OECD report - 22% of adults functionally illiterate) and are not getting better (BBC News, 2011, "1 in 5" adults illiterate). Why? Because dicks across the country prefer to talk shit about the failures in our socioeconomic system being the fault of the underclass, and do nothing.

Now we have riots and you'll still bury your fucking heads in the sand.

Next stop: full-blown bloody revolution. And they've proved that they get away with it now.

These riots have sickened me. Not the riots per se, you understand, but the ignorant self-centered reactionary responses of the majority of the population. I'm surprised the Tories didn't get a landslide; this country is full of fascists wearing red roses.

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The army

Would the army want them?

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hoooooks

Didn't they try something similar in Police Academy? What could go wrong?

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79000 signatures now

The number of signatures is increasing fast. They should have the 100,000 signatures required for a debate by the time Newsnight goes on air this evening.

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Looks like you're right

Can't get on the site half the time, and the other site I get a 'high load' message. Not sure if this is the Reg effect, or if similar petitions are running, but it'll be interesting to see how high it gets.

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This petition will achieve nothing.

All that is promised is that if it gains 100,000 signatures (and it will) then the subject of what to do with the rioters will be debated in parliament.

I believe the phrase has to do with one Mr Holmes suffering constipation. Does anyone here not expect this subject to be debated in parliament?

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The petition should achieve something

Yes the subject of what to do with the rioters will be debated in parliament. Tomorrow in fact.

However, the possibility of withdrawing their benefits might not have been discussed without this petition. Given that the website has now crashed under the load of people wanting to sign it, it might not have managed to get the 100,000 signatures, or even if it has, David Cameron might not be able to get on there tomorrow morning to see if it has, but that possibility should now be discussed.

As to what to do with them once they need food, I suggest opening up a few workhouses for them.

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Yes...

Saw the misspelled petition... I don't think taking money away from those that have already shown they are willing to steal things they want, is really the best idea.

I'm more in favour of reintroducing stocks and pillories. You show disrespect for your local community, then let them show the feeling is mutual.

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Facepalm

would make us all criminals why don't you!

If you can get six weeks in prison for a custard pie in the face, how long would you get throwing rotten veg at someone?

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in court wasn't it?

I mean 6 weeks for disrupting an important state related court proceeding seems pretty fair to me.

You wouldn't want someone to think that dissenters could just out-pie anything they disagreed with?

Though I am so glad he did it, and personally wished the pie was made something much more toxic

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Since a lot of them are too young to be on benefits,

How about compulsory parenting lessons for the parents 'responsible' for them?

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FAIL

I would be surprised...

If their parents have much interest in parenting other than getting more benefits due to having more kids...

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Anonymous Coward

Similar issue in Canada

many on welfare here, have more children just to get a bigger welfare cheque. You can tell it doesn't go to looking after the children, but the bar for removing children is so high it hardly ever happens and the bar for these parents getting their little pay cheques back is so low it's a joke. That to adoption. The biological parents of the children have far too much opportunity to get them back from the prospective parents for a year. I know people who won't even try to adopt after they've been to a few sessions and learned about the process.

Sorry for getting off topic, just trying to think of possible future remedies to the issue of non-parenting that is at the root of the issue.

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RE: Since a lot of them are too young to be on benefits

You mean from social workers like Jake Davis's mother? Yeah, she did such a good job - not! Just make them "repay" their debt to society with a few years in a chaingang, then put them on probation terms of straight back to the chaingang if they re-offend in the following ten years after release. They can claen out London's sewers by hand.

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Anonymous Coward

You want justice?

There's no justice like angry mob justice!

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So,

Your idea to tackle an angry out of control mob of thugs is a second angry mob of thugs?

For some strange reason i think that might cause even more problems.

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battle royale

Sounds good to me - put one half in blue, one half in red, give them a random selection of weapons and let them have at each other. Should whittle down the numbers a bit.

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@Norfolk 'n' Goode

I think that was supposed to be irony (at least I sure as hell *hope* it was)

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Flame

Looting and Vandalism

My view on looting and vandalism is simple - those convicted of such should be indentured and made to work until they pay off the damage they have caused, plus interest at the rate of inflation (whichever is higher, RPI or CPI during that time), plus the cost of feeding them during their indenture.

No TV, radio, playstations, and those that do not complete their daily quota of work do not get fed the next day.

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@indenture

This falls in line with my own thoughts, since we have outsourced pretty well everything to save a bob or two. Why not outsource the custodial sentences to somewhere that can do this stuff cheaper than the UK?

Even better idea let them work off their debts to society elsewhere, indenture them out to countries that have this sort of experience, and get paid. There are plenty of middle eastern countries that have this sort of arrangement.

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Facepalm

What could possibly go wrong?

Slave labour. Oh yes, that should sort out the problems of unequal wealth distribution and 25% youth unemployment in jig time.

I'm not saying it's a bad idea, just that you haven't thought it through. It would have consequences, and you need a plan to deal with those.

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Trollface

Sentenced to transportation

Export them to the USA!

Suffer the little children... Har har har

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Stop

Changes of employment

Suggesting the looters and vandals should work to repay the damage is rather ironic. For a lot of them this is probably their only change to get a job...

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