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back to article Microsoft plans to open 75 retail stores in US

Microsoft is re-hatching its plan to accelerate retail store expansion in the US before turning its sights on the rest of the world. Microsoft's planned new stores Store locator: Microsoft's retail expansion in the next three years The first iteration came in 1999, when Microsoft set up a shop in San Francisco – but efforts …

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Stand by

For Apple launching legal action - "selling stuff in shops is OUR idea".

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Anonymous Coward

Stand by

For moronic softie fanbois making moronic comments being upvoted by morons.

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Anonymous Coward

And...

Humourless polo-neck clad fanboys not being able to take what was actually quite a good joke.

Then again, if I had paid that much for my computer, I wouldn't be able to afford a sense of humour either. Oh, wait, I did and it turns out that I still have a sense of humour.

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FAIL

RE: And...

one of the upvoting morons speaks! Look, it'd be funny if it was original. It's not either. End of. What is funny is that people like you will call Apple users sheep, yet you moronically bray at the same tired clichés. Both Nokia and Microsoft have at least as many legal disputes and ridiculous patent applicatians, but you idiots still bang the same drum. You are boring.

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FAIL

Sorry but...

how is the joke meant to go?

Stand by for Nokia launching legal action - "selling stuff in shops is OUR idea".

not as funny and I've never seen a Nokia shop anyway so it doesn't work.

Lighten up... IT'S A JOKE!!!!

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Silver badge

On the bright side ...

I seriously doubt WinFanBois will be spilling out the doors, blocking the rest of us trying to get from outlet to outlet in the local MegaMall, unlike the MacFanBois ... all of whom seem to perpetually need help with their so-called "easy to use" consumer gear.

But only because WinFanBois don't realize that when it doesn't work, it's b0rken ... most of 'em seem to think that's how computers work. Or don't, as the case may be.

::sighs:: Consumers. Idiots, the lot of 'em.

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Anonymous Coward

Glad to see...

Glad to see you're up to your usual standard Jake - Everyone is an idiot except you, yes?

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@AC 19:15

No. I was talking about the people who habitually purchase "the latest", for no reason other than because some marketing company told them to. I know many people who have several generations of iPhone, each of which they have to pay for monthly, thanks to the contract they agreed to upon purchase. Likewise, I know many people who routinely throw away Windows machines when they slow to a crawl (thanks to the malware du jour), and plunk yet another US$400 on another machine at Staples (or whatever) to replace it.

Do you really find that an intelligent way to run a railroad, AC?

Side note: I'm jake, not Jake; Jake's another person. Computers tend towards the literal, if you hadn't noticed. HTH, HAND.

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Coffee/keyboard

Dude, I love the strapline

Oh the irony, the bitter irony. How sad is the fanbois camped out thing.

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Anonymous Coward

Master of spin at work

Quote: "Turner quipped [] that should tell all of you a lot about the importance of having a great OS."

Not really - the truth is more like, "that should tell all of you a lot about the realities of competing with a monopoly", or, "that should tell all of you a lot about how consumer choice suffers when the market is owned by a single company".

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Happy

Actually no.

What it *does* say is that it is pretty sad that Apple cannot (in that particular market) sell their hardware unless it is loaded with Windows (Or "Windoze", "Micro$oft Shite" or what ever form of howling/screaming you prefer).....hmmm?

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Anonymous Coward

@Arctic Fox

Yep, of the Mac users I know who have Intel Macs (mine is PPC) they all have Windows installed as a VM.

Odd that Apple won't let Mac OS be sold as an OS for a standard PC. We all know it works on standard PCs, with trivial tweaking. I would even accept a cut down supported hardware list, I'd just quite like to run a recent Mac OS on a VM.

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Happy

@Anonymous Coward

"Odd that Apple won't let Mac OS be sold as an OS for a standard PC."

Yes, I have yet to see a convincing explanation other than than one or both of the following:

1. Apple do very good business from their hardware sales and wish to discourage customers just buying the os and doing their own thing with regard to the hardware.

2. They do not want a situation where straight sales of OSX per se could be compared with straight sales of Windows. (By straight sales I mean full version machine independent. Not pre-loaded, that would give Windows an unfair advantage in the comparison).

I am inclined to place more weight on the first of the two.

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Boffin

And a third...

Have you thought about the Windows (and linux in a different way) hardware driver madness?

MAC OSX uses very specific hardware for which they have perfected the drivers. Allowing the OS to work on arbitrary combinations of hardware, would force them to go through the tedious process of driver verification (WHQL?) not to mention that as a BSD system it would require a new [custom] kernel for every hw modification.

Limited hardware is a great way to minimize OS bugs (hence increase stability) and Apple is not going to give that away any time soon.

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Mushroom

Accelerate our stores?

I took this to mean strapping a dirty great big rocket booster (surplus from NASA shuttle program, of course) to a bricks and mortar MS branded shop, point it in the right direction (Apple's campus) and hit the launch button.

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Non fruity hardware

With that you'd be hard pressed to get anything other than their product preloaded and counted as a sale. Even if you install something else, just cos they've sold a nice sticker, they've scored.

Are they anticipating serious competition then? Chrome OS, Android or another?

Make as much sense as the water company opening stores - you've not really got much choice have you?

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So what exactly do they intend to sell in these stores?

Microsoft don't make any PC hardware, just some peripherals and games consoles.

I'm pretty sure that MS partners would not take kindly to MS making "Microsoft" PC hardware, and would look even more dimly on MS selling Dell, HP etc computers for less than their existing sales channels. Unless MS somehow handed them a better margin, which seems kinda unlikely as PC hardware margins are pretty tiny to being with.

So what will be in these stores? A line-up of Dell, HP etc hardware that's all available elsewhere for less money?

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MS products

Well, off the top of my head there are:

• Microsoft mice, keyboards, joysticks (or whatever they're called these days)

• games for Windows and the X-Box

• the abovementioned X-Box

• software such as Windows, Office, SQL Server

• books from Microsoft Press

• the ever popular Zune [1]

• chairs

and the Steve Ballmer songbook (with the popular 'Developers! Developers! Developers!' in it)

[1] http://www.theonion.com/articles/thousands-wait-overnight-at-microsoft-stores-for-s,2357/

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Devil

PC stores...

I dunno. Stores that sell PCs in general seem to have a bit less focus. The old school computer store is nowhere to be seen anymore. Mom and Pop speciality shops are getting harder to find. Most stores that do sell PCs anymore are more general purpose stores where PCs can kind of get lost in the corner somewhere.

A more specialized setup might not be such a bad idea actually. Hard to say if it would work out for PCs though with a similar setup to the Apple store since PCs have thinner margins.

The margins on Apple kit can absorb the absurd rents you pay in some malls.

Although such a concept might already be past it's time...

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Devil

Phones

Watch for Winhoze phones being sold Carphone Warehouse style via MVNO or "with which carrier do you want it and do you want chips with that".

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Joke

MCSE?

Will I be able to find the whole course, in paper? Will they sell a trolley with it?

Are there Microsoft (tm) chairs?

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Anonymous Coward

Well

Mice etc are other peoples products rebranded, games are written by other companies. I've never seen a queue for MS software. Is it a new phenomena? Who buys a MS book?( I didn't know they could write!) What's a Zune?

I see that PC world/ Best Buy are losing money, is this yet another MS "good idea"?

However, I was very impressed by last week's visitor's ipad which couldn't find the network printer. Puts it on the same pedestal as this version of XP which keeps losing all of them also. Tends to give the Ubuntu/Mandriva boxes a bad name as they seem to find ALL the printers without trouble and then cause problems by asking which one you want them to use.

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Anonymous Coward

@AC 18:18

There were massive queues for Windows 95. I believe there were queues for Kinnect as well.

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Joke

You forgot one!

Remainder bins piled high with Kins!

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What?!

What on earth are "Mom and Pop speciality shops"? They don't sound either relevant or even legal! Is that one of those Americunisms I read about on the Beeb? Can someone explain please?

One can hope that a MS shop will have employees that know something about what they are selling (whatever it is) unlike the employees in PC World, Staples, Dixons, etc. The Apple shops I have been to, either direct or 3rd-party, have been quite good in this respect.

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Joke

Just imagine..

..live demos of songsmith

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Gimp

Zune!

Oh yeah, baby!

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Windows

Can't wait to see the huge queues

That stretch almost to the other side of the front door!

(not an Apple fanboi either, just think it won't exactly be a stunning success)

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Devil

Maybe

Whenever the launch the next Xbox they could very well get a huge line

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Happy

@fandom

"Whenever the launch the next Xbox they could very well get a huge line"

Indeed. Of people returning their broken RRoD consoles.

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Huh?

They're opening a store in the middle of Wyoming (largest city Cheyenne - population 60,000), but not in neighbouring Colorado (largest city Denver - population 2.5 million)?

This can only make sense if bison are big Windows users.

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Joke

Bison

Talking of bison, do you know what the difference is between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

I'm here all week etc etc.

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75?

So there previous forays into "Retail Stores" were less than a success and they are diving in with 75 new shops?

I've never been to an Apple Store but appreciate that they sell shiny, new HARDware. They are little more than toyshops for adults (not adult toy shops you understand).

Unless MS has similar toys to shift they are going to struggle, boxes containing an OS are just not as enticing. Also you only have to buy Windows again every few years whereas Apple sells the same device with a few tweaks annually - forever ensuring they are only just out of date when they hit the shelves.

MicroSoft Certified equivalent to the "Geniuses" might be fairly useful though...

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Happy

not adult toy shops you understand....

Don't know about that. I know a few fans that almost jizz in their boxers at the mere mention of Apple, never mind playing with any of their hardware.

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Pint

Camp outside? Never happen.

I've yet to see a Windows geek who reckons that getting the latest version is worth losing valuable potential beer moments for.

Must be an Apple thing......

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Win95

Windows 95 was released at midnight and I remember people lined up, Ok so it happened once 16 years ago.

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Thumb Up

Re. Win95

Yup. Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry from Friends (remember that?) seemed pretty keen too:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/3530509/matthew_perry_jennifer_aniston_windows_95_guide/

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WTF?

Windows "Guru/Swami/Yogi/Genius Bar" queue

If these stores have 90% of their space filled with a loooong Windows & Office helpdesk, you'll see lines going around the block. I've spent hundreds of hours helping family & friends on Windows problems and questions. It's gotten really old...

Here's the latest one: "Where's the black-on-black plastic WIFI switch on my Dell laptop?"

Really? Having a software control in the task bar for toggling WIFI is too innovative for Windows PC OEMs...? Or at least, use contrasting colors for the hard switch, if you don't feel like copying OSX.

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Anonymous Coward

WiFi

Personally I like a physical switch for some things, you really know it's off then. I wouldn't want to go on a plane with wifi switched off by a software toggle, I have also seen my linux box have wifi on when I thought it was off because the LED wasn't implemented in the driver.

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Angel

I'm with Anon here - I love my black-on-black WiFi switch.

An actual physical two-position switch is *perfect* for enabling WiFi and other radio modules.

In fact, the switch on the side of this Dell is great - WiFi symbol, red mark to show the "Off" position, and nice and big with a satisfying Click! when it's switched.

The tactile response of "Click!" OFF and "Click!" ON! is orders of magnitude better than a software tickybox somewhere, or some weird key combo like on my previous laptop.

A software tickybox is even harder to find, and might not even exist or work at all if your drivers aren't perfect. Plus you can't turn that on or off while doing something else (eg fullscreen application, sat in a VM or whatever)

Finally, when I'm connecting into a secure wired network, I like knowing that I'm not going to accidentally bridge to the insecure WiFi, becuase there's a physical switch on the side that's disabled the WiFi *in hardware*. No malicious software is going to be able to flick that switch!

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Silver badge

Quick trademark "Retard Bar"

A big queue of people queuing up to be told - have you tried rebooting?

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Black Helicopters

OOoooo Re-booting

I laughed at first, then realised You'd need to be payed serious danger money to work there....

Icon - Its not a hellicopter, its what will be left of you after the rebooting

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Trollface

Really?

"Now, that should tell all of you a lot about the importance of having a great OS"

Microsoft has a great OS? Where are they hiding it?

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Start Me Up

Does nobody remember the midnight queues lined up to buy Windows 95? That was when Microsoft had respect and admiration; Apple was on its knees; and Linux was just a hobbyists toy. How things change.

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Anonymous Coward

Respect and admiration?

You are kidding right? Windows was already seen as a joke by the serious IT community. There was even a parody version of that song at the time, by Bob Rivers (frequently attributed to Weird Al)

Here's a nice video of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwb74UQPK3s

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Joke

I thought they were opening Microsoft stores...

... in people's kitchens?

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why?

seriously - what the hell are people going to buy in there? microsoft haven't got anything to sell to the average joe apart from the office suite - and nobody actually buys that do they?

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MIc
FAIL

nope... no one

its just a multi billion $$ biz based on fairy tails.

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Anonymous Coward

"based on fairy tails"

What about Manx fairies ?. (Hint google Manx cat and look-up the proper spelling of fairy tales)

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MIc

What you get in an MS Store

You can buy a new PC from OEMs like Dell and HP WITHOUT all the crap add on software where they are "trying" to add value by upselling you crap you don't need.

You get a nice PC with trimmed down Windows 7 which runs much smoother and is less noisey.

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