back to article Pissed-off elves bombard Icelandic town with rocks

The good burghers of the Icelandic town of Bolungarvik have intervened to prevent further action by elves who are evidently unhappy they weren't consulted about the construction of an anti-avalanche barrier. Bolungarvik recently suffered a bombardment of rocks during "routine dynamiting" on the barrier, with fist-sized missiles …

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Alien

highly illogical, captain

said the space-elf

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FAIL

Learn to read, numb-nuts

"Bolungarvik's council rejected calls by "seers" to apologise to the Little People for the disruption, claiming there was a perfectly logical explanation for the dynamite mishap."

The "perfectly logical explanation" was talking about it *not* being elves.

It must be nice believing everyone is less intelligent than you. I just wish you hadn't picked quite such a low benchmark. Even people who believe in elves can understand that sentence (well, the Icelandic equivalent, anyway....)

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WTF?

What century is iceland in?

I'd expect this kind of rubbish from some remote african village, not a supposedly first world developed country in the 21st century. Mind you , the USA is full of creationists so I guess idiotic superstition transcends nationalisties.

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Trollface

Re: What century is iceland in?

Oh come on! This is just charming folklore and nothing more - it's not like the Icelanders are asking for the hidden people to run their country, although it's a reasonable question to ask whether they might have done a better job of it than the government who cultivated the financial acrobatics that led to the nation's current situation. (Any arrests yet on that score, I wonder?)

If only the hidden people had been able to stop various arguably-corrupt wilderness-destroying megaprojects serving large foreign corporations...

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Really?

Every culture has their little foibles and leftover superstitions, asking what century they're living in is rather insulting to a large body of folklore. You mightn't believe in this stuff, but you probably "touch wood" to prevent something bad you've said actually happening (this is fairly common in Europe and America) or others. Here in Ireland, for instance, people are still pretty cagey about digging up faerie circles, lest the little people get pissed off.

It's mostly harmless and the council should have done the fairly minor appeasement required which would have made everyone happy. Then they should have found whoever mucked up the dynamite laying and kicked their arse

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What's that, Boltar?

Still cheesed off you gave them all your money after their believable sales pitch?

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'Any arrests yet on that score, I wonder?'

On the subject of investigating the financial crash - yes they've been busy.

Most of the people who brought Iceland to its knees live abroad and the Icelandic justice system is looking at asking for them to be extradited back to Iceland where the locals are flicking through their books of ancient viking punishments.

A number of lower banking officials have been under investigation by a special investigator and are either on trial or awaiting trial for financial irregularities in the run-up to the kreppa, but the big fish is that ex Prime Minister Geir Haarde is on trial for incompetence.

And since you're bound to be interested, the sale of the assets of Landsbanki is likely to go ahead fairly shortly and will either nearly or totally cover the cost of the British bailout to UK investors.

So the big question is, if Iceland can put its crooks on trial, why are the ex-heads of HBOS, Northern Rock and the Whitehall officials who watched the UK's banks go crazy still free?

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@darren nestor

"Every culture has their little foibles and leftover superstitions, asking what century they're living in is rather insulting to a large body of folklore. "

Why? Just because it exists doesn't mean the gullible have to believe it.

"You mightn't believe in this stuff, but you probably "touch wood" to prevent something bad you've said"

Sorry to disappoint you, but i don't. Nor do I go out of my way not to walk under ladders or avoid black cats.

"Here in Ireland, for instance, people are still pretty cagey about digging up faerie circles, lest the little people get pissed off"

Yeah well , thats what you get when first cousins marry.

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Anonymous Coward

this will be as nothing ...

when the elves realise they can't get their money out of IceSave

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WTF?

WTF?

Holy batshit, fatman! .. er, I mean ..

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Holmes

An asset to inncompetent engineers...

Sounds like a great excuse for dodgy civil engineers: "Explosive charges of the wrong power in the wrong locations? Not at all! It was ... erm... Elves! That's right, it was Elves! No liability on our part!"

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Coat

@ breakfast

Moreover, the wrong type of elves

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Devil

Can't wait..

Moderators, delete that last post lest the NoTW hacks see it and start blaming 'Elves' for hacking voicemail...

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Boffin

Folklore false prophets

“Local musician Benedikt Sigurdsson explained: “I have now been asked by both elves and men to broker a compromise here, and I hope that this song will suffice." “

… reading between the lines so to speak, that should be …

Local musician Benedikt Sigurdsson grabbed the opportunity for some attention by saying: “I have thought up a reason to play my song to you."

Meanwhile Bolungarvik's council rejected calls by "seers" to apologise to the Little People, because the so called self appointed “seers” also want to be the centre of attention.

Folklore my ass, its an opportunity for the local attention seekers to make a prat of themselves, all in the name of gaining attention.

They are false prophets like all prophets, all hiding their true agendas. In this case, the agenda is obvious, they are using it for attention.

(Icon for science exposing the false two faced prophets).

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Coat

Undergound music

Were this a bit further south he might be Cacophonix.

In the meantime, Elves have left the building

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Happy

Moral ... before dynamiting rocks ...

... make sure you understand the Elf and Safety implications.

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Voted up

It would've been efish not to.

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Alien

We all know that UFO folk are actually elves pandering to 20-cen sensibilities

Expect righteous microwaving of sleeping people, cattle mutilations, dogs turned inside-out and leftover "radioactive areas".

It's only justice!

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Facepalm

@Sam Liddicott

1. Elves

2. a dynamite mishap

which is the 'perfectly logical' choice for rocks flying through the air following an explosion?

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@AC 12:04

It depends on which system of logic you use and your personal beliefs. Yours are not the only ones.

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Boffin

Mathematics are based on belief, after all

In order to do anything serious with Mathematics, you have to believe the Axiom of Choice.

...And then, if you apply your results to the Real World™, you have to believe that Mathematics are related to said Real World. This is very far from proven.

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Boffin

@ ratfox

Well yes but...

Science and maths make your computer go, not belief in elves or a big invisible bloke in the sky. Insofar as we can use the results of science and maths on a day to day basis, they appear to relate to the real world.

Ultimately, there may not even be a real world but most philosophers give up at that point and say it's a pointless argument since we'll never know and most evidence points the other way.

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Devil

The elves did it

The elves are wicked little things. They eat babies, rape badgers and dangle their dongles into birds nests full of hatchlings.

And they throw rocks. Feckers.

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Happy

Vitamin D

Sounds like our northern cousins need some more sunlight and vitamin D...they're going slightly bonkers.

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Mushroom

a clear act of terrorism

These elves must be located and swiftly apprehended.

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Linux

Clearly, a case of bad home-brew

Elves?

Rock sprites?

Prayers?

Pish.

Have another super-strength Icelandic larger.

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Trollface

Troll post

It's a good thing that they didn't blast the nose off a mountain troll. Then they really would have been in trouble.

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IT Angle

As a result...

The US State Department has warned Americans not to travel to this area. The NSA is monitoring all cellular traffic in a 75 mile radius. Members of the Bolungarvik Elves have been added to the "No Fly" list and CIA Black Ops teams are scanning the area with Predator drones looking for insurgents carrying out further attacks. A Navy carrier group is off shore with Marine Force Recon strike teams just in case the Predators discovery any targets of opportunity.

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Joke

Elve's is alive and still a rocking

Given household insurance love the term - act of God - even for contacts for athiests (which I'm sure is conraveining the religious rights of athiests) then small elves (as if there are ever large ones!) would fall under that and they could avoid paying out.

When you have a small community - fairly isolated you end up with a less than Wide-screen 3D version of Peter Pan and tthe fairy's of doom. I'm sure had theatre and the arts had a good founding and they had Icelandicwood film industry then none of this would of come too pass.

Perssonaly If I was involved in blasting and casued a few oversights to damage public property and had the option of blaming Elve's then like many others; Even if they personaly didn't believe in it would certainly not poo-poo the idea (could of even been Smurf's trying to get the Elve's a bad rep).

But let's not totaly dismiss this in a World that can believe in other invisble people, who are we to dismiss the idea's of our Icelandic Earth brothers. Some even say there is more prove that the elve's exist than other invisible beings. But personaly I believe it's another Get Out Of Jail^H^H^H^H Mental Hospital card that gets played. Though people who believe in such invisible people are too be respected as equals, otherwise the mental health bill will realy sink my TAX's - think about it.

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Alien

@The Indomitable Gall

"Even people who believe in elves can understand that sentence"

Sam Liddicott's post, wink and nod just went over your head I'm afraid. Try rereading it slowly this time. If you're still stuck then consider that the idea of angry Elves throwing rocks after having pissed them off is not *illogical* but at most something based on certain debatable assumptions. It might become illogical if very important decision were based on these assumptions with other explanations readily available and documented. But there weren't any. This was in my view actually a logical course of action since turning the event into something strengthening local folklore and culture would be important to tourism!

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Angel

These people

with their belief in elves are no more bonkers or insane for doing so, than the leaders of a certain military superpower, professing belief in an invisible man in the sky who supposedly made the Earth about 6000-odd years ago...

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And the source of their superstition?

Myths, legends and superstitions all come from somewhere. Sometimes, they come from an early need to warn people that some places are dangerous, in a language that befits the times.

They called them Elves. Wonder what we'd call them. Magma chambers perhaps? :)

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Boffin

@Adam T

"And the source of their superstition?"

From what I can see, dynamite.

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Coat

Elves? That's nothing.

I understand there are countries that still pay homage to a family mystically anointed to be their hereditary leaders... they're called "kinks" or "queams" or "monarrrggghhhs" or something....

Come to think of it, Elvis was called the King. Mythology is awful confusing.

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Alien

Easy verification

Come on... everybody knows how to spot "little people:"

1) Watch your cows/sheep

2) If one or more suddenly rise about six inches and take off at high speed (maybe backwards) with moving their legs, you have an infestation

Crivens!

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If you've ever been to Iceland

And I mean more than a stag do in Reykjavik, you might see where the belief in huldufolk comes from. The landscape of the place runs from slightly to very unreal. You sometimes think you're on the gigantic set of a science fiction movie. I don't believe in elves myself, and to be fair, neither do most Icelanders, but you can sort of see where it comes from.

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Facepalm

But what really chuffed the elves....

Was the giant black tower with the rotating red eye that was built in the middle of town to celebrate the eradication of pinkeye in the from the hamlet of Bolungarvik!

Law of unintended consequences. Next time, hold more planning commission hearings!!

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Anonymous Coward

This is hilarious

The people of Bolungarvík are simple peasants, I for one live in the capital area where there isn't massive inbreeding, and I can tell you that people who really believe in elves/huldufólk are considered mental.

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