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back to article Vatican launches second website in just 2000 years

The Vatican is to update its notoriously creaky comms operation this week, with a new easy to use and doctrinally sound news portal. News.va will, apparently, be launched with a papal click of the mouse by Pope Benedict himself, doubtless leading to questions as to whether this will make the site the world's only infallible …

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Emo
Joke

Is this the end of churches?

That would be an ecumenical matter.

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Angel

Yes...

yes I suppose it would

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Anonymous Coward

Presumably they'll get some great uptime

courtesy of Papal Infallibility

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Anonymous Coward

Mass

"It is also the Feast of Sts Peter and Paul, and as such a Holy Day of Obligation, on which Catholics are required to attend mass. Which is one way of ensuring that the site is not immediately swamped by the faithful."

Mass doesn't last all day you know.

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Coat

But it does

feel like it

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Joke

No, but...

...Fr Clippit says a good long mass. Four hours he does. Since his stroke

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Facepalm

Plus..

It's only a holy day of obligation in England and Wales, not the rest of the UK, let alone the world.

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Joke

The Vatican is on the Internet?

Excellent, I can make donations the only way that seems appropriate.

Paypal

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Anonymous Coward

Actually...

When it comes to the Christian church, ANY method to buy redemption is appropriate: cheques, cash, gold bars, postal orders, etc. Or if you're skint, just send your young kids over for a treat.

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Trollface

How long until.....

....some script-kiddies hack it and put up the Fallen Madonna With the Big Boobies, by Van Klomp?

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Coat

I have 3 paintings with 6 big boobies!

see title

The long leather one with the sausage in the pocket and I admit my Fronch cod be butter.

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Joke

Latin Version

I saw a preview of the latin version it started with "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do.........."

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This post has been deleted by its author

Joke

Encore.

Post it again and you'll have the Trinity

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Joke

The Beast

or make 666 posts of it...

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Anonymous Coward

just don't tell ...

Dawkins, whatever you do

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Mushroom

All these comments, but nothing about the second coming?

Surely THIS must be a sign that the world is about to end.

For more predictions of things that might happen in the future, please send all of your money to.....

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Flame

Will it include Manners v 1.0?

When the last pope snuffed it, I sent them my CV. Wasn't actively looking for a job, but I was younger and my own jumbo would have been a bit of a statement. And I could have done a much better job anyway.

I'll give it to them that Vatican's site was so slow it must have been under a good DDOS.

Still, do you think they ever got back to me, or even sent me an automated message acknowledging that they received it?

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Joke

I now have a vision in my mind ..

..of the web development team in the Vatican.

A group of monks with hair t-shirts with geeky slogans (in Latin of course) under their habits, sandals, retro D & G glasses, cans of "papal cola" which they make into pyramids, before knocking them down with rubber copies of the Bible hurled from their rosaries. They'll be sat at desks where the drawers are full to overflowing of odd bits and bobs; reliquaries containing the KFC chicken bones from lunch a week ago, copies of the wicked Bible in plain paper wrappers, the Turin Shroud, knocked off DVD's of "Father Ted", snow globes of Nazareth etc.

And of course, about half of the day will be taken up with conversations about who has managed to have a conversation with Sister Mary Lazarus!

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Devil

The devil has tainted the sneak preview ...

it's an incomprehensible mess if Javascript is turned off.

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Anonymous Coward

"it's an incomprehensible mess if Javascript is turned off."

speaking in tongues, probbly

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Linux

Papal Stack

Powered by apache/Linux/AWS ....

So there you go confirmation that windows is evil and opensource/cloud computing are indeed righteous ....

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Silver badge

priests online

facebook is going to need another child saftey button

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Devil

As a recovering Catholic

I am begging everyone and anyone to hack the church website.

Posting up selected tracts from the Satinist bible might be fun.

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Silver badge

Something suitable

Just hack in an appropriate motto for them, such as

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

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satin

the satinist bible for men of the cloth

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Trollface

"the world's only infallible provider of news"

I think the word is "Bull" ;-)

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Angel

For what it's worth...

...IIRC, the idea of papal infallibility was largely rejected after the Second Vatican Council in the mid '60s.

They also absolved us Jews of responsibility for the death of Christ, which was nice of them. Now if only the United Nations would do the same...

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Angel

Yay, no more confessional!

I'll just tweet 100 Ave Maria instead.

Is copy/pasting or running a script cheating? And if I do it anyway, would God know? If church is like the government, the highest posts are hopefully completely oblivious to technology.

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Meh

2000 years?

As any fule kno, there hasn't been even a Bishop of Rome for that period, let alone a Pope (even if you count the periods of office of several separately, although they ran simultaneously).

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