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back to article So, how many rhinos does a tram weigh?

In case you were ever wondering, like you do, just what is the weight of a tram in rhinos, our friends Down Under have the answer: What's not clear, however, is what speed the 30 rhinos are travelling at as a percentage of the maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum. This information is vital if we are to calculate just how …

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Gets to the heart of the problem

The advert seems to be addressing the widespread misconception of people thinking that being run over by a tram isn't that bad. Until I saw it I have to say that I saw being run over by a tram as about as serious as getting a paper cut. Thank goodness I've been properly informed now.

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Anonymous Coward

I once saw...

...a Mark III Ford Escort that had picked an argument with a tram. It had managed to take a corner and rammed straight into the tram that was taking the corner the other way. It made a quite a sight with the front bonnet squashed in the middle, both front sides up in the air and the back of the car trying to fight gravity but losing.

I dunno what happened to the driver but the accident took place right next to the police station on the opposite corner.

Makes you be very careful when crossing tram tracks.

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Meh

Those are

crap rhinos.

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Joke

@Mike

No they're not. They're super rad-cool SKATEBOARDING rhinos!! Come on. That's GOTTA be nothing short of totally awesome!!

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Anonymous Coward

Units

As my physic teacher would say when pupils didn't use the correct term of measurement

"Units, units, you nit!"

Surely the correct unit of measurement of weight of a tram is the London bus ... or perhaps Belgium?

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Joke

london bus???/

Units, Units, you nit!

The london bus is a measurement of length as any fule kno!

Belgum??? good grief!

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Meh

How many people does it take to sell Tram tickets?

They have:

Marketing Manager

A "Brand Manager"

Communications Manager

Communications Advisor

Marketing co-ordinator

That seems rather a lot. I suspect that they could get by with rather fewer, but then the office would be less fun, what with doing a full day's work an' all.

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Unfortunate timing ...

A woman was struck and killed instantly by Melbourne tram on Thursday ...

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So, the message of the advert is...

...If you see a tram coming, run for your life and hide in a tree?

....that's the message, right?

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Darwin

Anyone that doesn't look at a tram as a set of fast moving guillotine wheels with several tons of weight pushing down on them deserves to lose whatever bit gets chopped off.

As for the idiot in the head phones, it doesn't matter what you step in front of on the road, it's going to hurt. The cyclist will punch you in the head for being a pratt, and everything else will crush your bones and probably drive over your inanimate corpse just for good measure.

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Pirate

Headphones

With or without headphones, these things are dangerous. The ones in Manchester are silent killers! Sneaky little things.

I don't know Manchester that well, looked the wrong way first (thinking they always travelled on the same side as cars) and stepped as I looked the other; jumped back just in time.

My Manc friends nicknamed them Population Control Devices - reducing the city's average age one person at a time ;)

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Silver badge

You should try the Polish ones.

I narrowly missed a tram in Krakow a few years ago. Made the famous Englishman abroad mistake of looking the wrong way (what crazy fools decided to drive on the right?).

The Polish trams leave nothing to the imagination, none of this decorative cladding round the front and sides, there's a dirty big cow-catcher bumper, and the limb severing wheels all nicely on display.

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FAIL

"sneaky"?

As sneaky as a herd of rhino I bet.

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Flame

@Ian

"The ones in Manchester are silent killers! Sneaky little things."

Not half as quiet as the ones in Edinburgh...

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Alert

So, how many rhinos *does* a tram weigh?

I can answer it ... none whatsoever ... trams are designed for carrying passengers, and do not usually have the specialist equipment that would be required to weigh a rhino.

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Coat

The Tram as weapon of Mass Destruction

The tram has been used as an instrument of death and destruction in Coronation Street for a number of years. So you'd think the general populace (including Corrie-watching Ozzies) would have got the message by now.

Mind you, given the "quality" of the special effects in the recent Corrie Tramageddon, you could forgive people for not taking the Tram-menace seriously ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc7GeD6K_1o

Metro timetable in the back pocket ....

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Anonymous Coward

For those unfamiliar with the Rhino...

...as a unit of measure, 30 rhinos is of course equivalent to 600 sheep.

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=weight+of+white+rhino+%2F+weight+of+sheep

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Is that asian or european sheep?

You know, a sheep once bit my sister...

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Anonymous Coward

in Italy...

...car drivers keep out of the way of trams ( & don't park too close to the tracks )

'nuff said

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FAIL

Why warn people?

Seriously, if you're dense enough to get hit by an enormous slow moving noisy vehicle then surely Darwinian selection should be the order of the day.

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Devil

even worse,

It's an enormous, slow, noisy vehicle STUCK ON UNMISSABLE TRACKS.

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Joke

Solved!

"What's not clear, however, is what speed the 30 rhinos are travelling at as a percentage of the maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum"

Well, the maximum velocity of a rhino is 40km/h, and the speed of a sheep in a vacuum is 5,995km/s, so doing the sums gives you 0.000185339634881% of the speed of a sheep in a vacuum.

So how many Norrises are involved?

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Re: Solved

Are you sure about that? What standardised form of propulsion was used to accelerate said sheep? If it was self propelled, then have you taken into account the extra gaseous nature of very fresh lush grass?

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Joke

REsolved

"What standardised form of propulsion was used to accelerate said sheep?"

Voici le Mouton Anglo-Francaise!

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Que?

Sorry, you've lost me. Even several passes of the Monty Python rule book hasn't helped understand why the nationality of the sheep would be important.

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Boffin

see reference to swallows

African or European (in terms of coconut carrying capacity)

Really should have a Monty Python icon

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Headmaster

Re: que

Swallows, but they were African or European..

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Mushroom

@ Solved

Solved? Really? But what's the maximum velocity of a rhino _on a skateboard_? Eh? Eh?

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Tram Speed

According to the video on this page:

http://www.yarratrams.com.au/desktopdefault.aspx/tabid-233/268_read-1194/

the trams cruise at about 0.00000232 Ssx (sheepsecs).

Of course, there are several different types of trams in service, but I found information that one of these types has a maximum speed of 0.00000534 Ssx.

I hope that someone with better understanding of how to translate Jubs and Ssx to Norisses can furnish the final answer.

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Oh. It said "tram".

I thought it said "train". Got my hopes up for nothing.

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