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A Russian woman died of a heart attack at her own funeral, after waking up to find praying mourners filing past her coffin. According to the Daily Mail, Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, had been declared dead after suffering chest pains and collapsing at home in Kazan, capital of Tatarstan. Doctors had failed to spot she was …

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FAIL

quote...

"I do not vish to be shot down on the vay to my own funeral..."

unquote

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Eh?

Collapsed at home

Pronounced dead

Placed in coffin

Funeral arranged and underway

How long did all that take exactly?

They shifted her like a hot po-tatarstani

No wonder she had a heart attack

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Devil

Wrong

No wonder she lived only 12 minutes.

You see, it takes some money to arrange a _FAST_ funeral.

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Re: Eh?

That will depend on location and culture. In Cyprus, the Greek Orthodox Church aims to have you in the ground the following day, so that would be less than 24 hours here.

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Tatarstan = Muslim

If she was in Tartarstan there's a good chance she was Muslim, so the tradition is burial within 24 hours.

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haha

in soviet russia funeral kills you

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Anonymous Coward

LOL

You nearly made me pee my pants.

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Thumb Up

The

only "soviet russia" gag I've ever found amusing.

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"Soviet" Russia?

Ah, you'll be one of those 'merkin chaps who still haven't worked out what's going on in the world outside the good-ole Yoo Esovay.

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GBE

A bit humorless today Tony?

Ah, you'll be one of those chaps with no sense of humor who thinks everytime they miss a pop-culture reference it's somebody else's fault.

You really never heard any of the "In Soviet Russia..." jokes back in the day? Google "Yakov Smirnoff".

[Or have I been trolled?]

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FAIL

@ Tony Green

"you'll be one of those 'merkin chaps who still haven't worked out what's going on in the world"

Says the guy whose never encountered this very wide spread internet meme.

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Boffin

Where as elsewhere you kill the funeral?

Sorry, but hat makes no sense.

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FAIL

Give Tony a break.

He has clearly been living under a rock since the 80s so cut him some slack, please.

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Headmaster

Where as elsewhere you kill the funeral?

It was close enough to make some people here laugh

Ergo, it was a joke.

Irrespective of accuracy to the form.

A life should be sought.

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Soviet Russia

The fact that the union fell is in fact why the standard line features the word "Soviet"; originally, it wasn't necessary to specify because Russia actually was still Soviet.

Plus it's even bigger than an internet meme, and older, too...

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Devil

Reminds me.....

...Of something I heard about a few years a go, the man got up out of his coffin, screaming and wide-eyed strangled his brother then died (again) of a heart attack. Very strange.

^--Icon for obvious reasons

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Headmaster

Always be careful

She was a ZOMBIE!. (Joke) In some countires the dead have to be buried withinn 24 hours for religious reasons.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Always be careful

"In some countires the dead have to be buried withinn 24 hours for religious reasons"

Or before the chloroform wears off.

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Devil

Zombie

Pray it never happens in Leicester

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@Capt TickTock

Pray it never happens to Lester.

There...fixed that for you.

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Re: Always be careful

Or before the hunger for brains and human flesh overcomes them.

-dZ.

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Joke

@Zombie

Why? Would they starve to, er... undeath there?

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Title Here

Shocking...

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Facepalm

Lesson to all of us...

Don't collapse in Russia. Don't even trip on a rock and fall. If you are not standing up and moving you are probably dead according to the advanced Russian medicine.

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You hear stories

Of people going abroad to get cheap operations - does anyone seriously think that's a good idea?

Unless abroad is America, but that isn't cheap.

You do get to see Mickey though.

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Unhappy

Of course if we don't ever see inside a third-world hospital...

...then we will never know how less-than-optimal our 'developed world' ones often are.

My experience inside /big city/ Chinese hospitals is that they are comparable to the Australian public sysetem - under-resourced and physically run-down but clean and competently staffed.

Though the waiting list in China for elective tumor removal is measured in hours, not months as in Aus.

* Note emphasis on /big city/ hospitals - the private clinic/hospitals over there as well as some of the public provincial ones are well-deserving of the media shock-stories we hear.

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Headmaster

untitled

"Doctors had failed to spot she was actually very much alive"

'slightly alive' would be nearer the mark, surely?

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Coat

Obligatory...

Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Inigo Montoya: What's that?

Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

...mine's the one with The Princess Bride in the pocket.

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Megaphone

They got one thing wrong ....

... those AREN'T medical staff / doctors, they're morons !

Obviously, when she woke up, she had a coffin fit.

(Gets white coat and exits)

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Warm?

Seems to me that the person clothing her for the funeral would of notice that she wasn't COLD & Hardening!!!!

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IT Angle

Embalming?

Is there no embalming in Islam then? From what little I know, that would have finished her off....

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Childcatcher

A hospital spokesman said ..

"See, we were right. We just got the timing a bit out."

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WTF?

True Love

Her husband...said: "Her eyes fluttered...before she died again, this time for good."

This time for good? I'm cynical, but wow. I hope that was a mistranslation or it sounds like he was glad to be rid of her.

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FAIL

Eh?

"For good" means permanently. There is no connotation of the permanence being a positive thing.

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Joke

Husband

"this time... for good" /Russian accent

Makes me wonder if he was also holding some kind of heavy implement as he said it.

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Linux

Not so rare

Actually misdiagnosed death isn't so uncommon. I saw a documentary on it maybe 20 or 30 years ago. It featured a guy who had been pronounced dead many times. He ended up inventing a wearable device that showed that he was still alive. I guess it was some sort of pulse meter. Truth is stranger than fiction and all that.

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I'm not dead yet

I think I'll go for a walk.

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Vic
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Re: I'm not dead yet

You're not fooling anyone, you know.

Vic.

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Coat

I don't want to go in that coffin

Don't be such a ninny

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Mmmm

I've heard of 'born again' but this 'dead again' is something new.

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Anonymous Coward

Where was Miracle Max

She was only mostly dead

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Stop

Reality check

Er... Story in the Daily Hate. Probability of being true, approx. 5%.

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Coat

"I AIN'T DEAD"

name wasn't Weatherwax was it ?

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Anonymous Coward

Seems more like...

... a Windle Poons moment if you ask me.

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I ATEN'T DEAD

I think you mean "I ATEN'T DEAD".

A witch doesn't need to worry about spelling. It's the word's fault for being wrong.

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Alien

I Hope

I hope when I die, I get a 2nd chance. Thanks to this tale, I'll be prepared and try not to die again too soon.

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Coat

@Isendel Steel

"I ATEN'T DEAD", I think you'll find.

(Mine's one with the Pratchett paperback, thanks...)

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Stop

not in the uk

What!

if she was in the UK, she would have her organs removed, and her brain sucked out within 2 days

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Facepalm

...and in the US

after having her brains sucked out, she'd run for Congress.

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Joke

Pun (I'm afraid)

At least the husband can die nowt on the story...!

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