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back to article The KILLER MUTANT FUNGUS in YOUR DISHWASHER

Malign fungal entities may be breeding and evolving in your dishwasher, boffins warn, saying that the deadly toadstool-esque kitchen triffid yeast creatures have already become almost unkillable and may soon mutate into frightful blobominations able to launch out their deadly spores to "colonise" unwary nearby humans with …

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Alert

Crickey!

Bloody hell. thats all.

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tas
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Think my washing machine is suffering from this too ...

This article made me realise that my washing machine rubber seal may be suffering from a fungus problem!

I did a bit of research and apparently these are the recommended steps to remove it:

1. Obtain some distilled white vinegar or clear malt vinegar or citric acid. Henceforth called "acid".

2. Obtain some soda crystals or *bleach* detergent.

3. Do a highest possible temperature (preferably 90C) first full cycle maintenance wash (no laundry) after putting a cup of crystals/detergent in the tub and a cup of crystals/detergent in the washer drawer.

4. Do a highest possible temperature (preferably 90C) second full cycle maintenance wash by pouring the acid into the drawer at the start of the wash as water is being drawn and heated.

5. After both cycles have completed, open the washing machine door and check under the lip of the seal (hopefully it will be clean). Henceforth, ALWAYS leave the washing machine door permanently open unless its closed for a wash! If you remember nothing else, remember that!!!

If the problem is not eliminated using the steps above, grab a mask, rubber gloves and HG Mould Spray or some other rubber-safe black mould and mildew remover. The protection is important due to the fungus spores AND the Mould Spray's very powerful bleach ingredients.

If that still does not work, replace the washing machine's rubber seal.

Once a month, make it a habit to do a highest possible temperature wash cycle. This can be a normal wash or a maintenance wash.

Apparently, very high temperature wash cycles used to be normal, especially for towel washes, back in the old days before low temperature biological detergents and the ecological movement. This may be a reason why the fungus/mould problem has grown so widespread these days.

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Silver badge

hmm

Rather than your over-engineered solution we could just nuke the whole site from orbit. It's really the only way to be sure.

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Pint

Aieeeeeee!!!

Flee the spores! Flee while you can!!

Either that or fill the dishwasher with hops and malted barley. I think I'll flip a coin.

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Alien

oh great... I thought it was only the potnoodles that were out to get me!

Nuke the entire site from orbit--it's the only way to be sure!

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Alien

Just got to convince the wife

then I can fire the dishwasher and get a younger un-infected model

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Just got to convince the wife

I see what you did there.

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IT Angle

Daily Fail?

Jeez! will you guys stop this.. Leave it up to the daily Heil; at least they have lots more hot totty on every page to cheer us up after filling us with doom...

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Totty?

Who needs the hot totty when there's all those pictures of Lester and the PARIS crew?

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Anonymous Coward

We have the comments from Sarah

Which may not be much consolation, but it's better than nothing, so don't knock it!

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Is anyone reminded...

...of an advanced civilisation finally wiped off the map by something contracted from a dirty telephone?

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FAIL

Molotov thrown in..

...then shut the door? I believe a flame needs oxygen to burn, thus by shutting the door, you'd de-flame the 'cocktail'

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Flame

Nah...

...Lewis knows his stoichiometry. I bet a Page(TM) Molotov Cocktail comes with its own oxidiser. I wonder if permanganate would work...? Could be time for some experiments.

Now, *that's* a handy icon.

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So in real life

Mushroom eats Mario?

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real life, perhaps

definitely in Soviet Russia, though.

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Boffin

Back in the real world

I'm guessing here, but ...

The obvious question is whether the spores of the non-extremophile versions of these yeasts are omnipresent in everyday environments, in the same way that everyday green mould spores are? If so it suggests that our immune systems are protecting us against them on an everyday basis, and there's little cause for concern (unless you suffer from CF).

I'd also expect the varieties which mutate to enjoy the innards of a dishwasher, have traded tolerance of that environment for optimisation for non-extreme conditions (such as the insides of a human being). In that case we have less to fear from the ones living in dishwashers than their parent strains. Even if not so, tolerance of extreme heat, alkalinity, etc. won't create tolerance of antibiotic medicines. Be extremely wary of the dishwasher used on petri dishes in a path lab, though!

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@Nigel 11

Indeed - if the stuff is everywhere, and hardly ever harms healthy humans, is it actually any more likely to mutate into some Horrendous Killer Plague than any other microorganism?

Not good for CF sufferers, but presumably all kinds of other not-generally-oh-my-god microorganisms are bad news for them as well.

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Coat

I'd say the inside of the human body counts as an extreme environment...

Filled as it is with hostile nanotech (the human immune system).

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Black Helicopters

Impossible? Inevitable!

Of course, since fungi were found feeding on the radiation leaking from Chernobyl's abandoned reactors, it's hardly surprising they would eventually conquer the relatively favorable conditions of a puny dishwasher.

I wonder, since fungi are prone to engage in symbiotic relationships, how long it will take until they mingle with humans to produce a race of super-resistant, radiation-immune beings – who will no doubt proceed to exterminate the "inferiors" around them?

Burn all dishwashers! It's us or them!

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Boffin

I hope the government has a plan for FUNGUS APOCALYPSE

On the other hand, the monstrofungosity [probably cancer-causing, too, I remember some black fungus being rather carcinogenic] must have exchanged survivability in extreme environments against something else, opening up an Achilles' hell, or rather a Siegfried's dragon scale.

Just need to find out what it is.

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I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help

We have instituted a committee at the highest level, and they have called for a levy.

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IT Angle

abandon it in an unpopulated area??

Why abandon it? Leave it out the front of your house to scare away unwanted energy salesman and other types. With the added Kudos of having more white good out front! (I'm writing this from Norwich BTW)

What's the point of a dishwasher anyway? You have to rinse everything beforehand in case a rogue piece of sweetcorn clogs up the works and everything comes out with the dirt finely mashed up and baked onto the plates. Far easier to to "wash up" -- if you remember how we used to do it back in the day.

Is it Friday BTW?

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Joke

I think I've seen that house....

Is it the one on the Mile Cross with four fridges in the front garden?

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Paris Hilton

buy a newer model

only the mark-1 versions clogged with leftover detritus, the newer ones swallow it all whole and beg for more. If you are getting finely mashed sweetcorn baked onto your plates, then you are probably stacking the dishes incorrectly.

Paris, because she's stacked correctly.

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Boffin

zombie apocalypse

So this is how it begins.

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Coat

DNA splicing...

I want those traits in my DNA code, so I can swim in a sulfuric acid lake, by a volcano. I love the thermals, but the lethal ones would be somewhat cheaper for the season.

Off to the gene-splicing lab, pronto.

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Holmes

Shock...killer fungi are going to make your eyes bleed and your balls fall off

Or you could....you know....clean it from time to time, just like everything else that you don't want bacteria on.

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Devil

So Who Still Doesn't Believe in Karma, eh?

You were too lazy to do the washing up.

You bought a machine to do it

Now you're going to die.

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Coat

Nuke em?

Take of, nuke em from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Oh wait, this isn't slash dot is it...

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Anonymous Coward

Clean it ?

How about you clean it with some bleach ?

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May I be the first to

welcome our fungal overlords

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: May I be the first to

Nope

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Happy

I may not be the first to post,

but still seem to be the first to welcome them

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Mushroom

Icon

Its the only way to be sure.

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Devil

I for one welcome...

...you know the rest.

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Alert

Networked appliances

This follows on from the earlier article about networked appliances. It clearly demonstrates that we cannot trust our white goods to get social. To think that my dishwasher may contract the equivalent of an S.T.D. after a rough session with the glass-washer at the local pub just cheapens the whole idea.

But, if people still insist on confusing a dishwasher with a waste-disposal unit in a sink then what do you expect - I have seen some very, very manky dishwashers, fridges, washing machines in the past and it's all due to lazy bastards. When the bacteria in the dishwasher has more intelligence than the human and works its way in to the processor to communicate with other like-minded bacteria we is fucked.

At this point in time it's worth remembering that the most successful life form on the planet is not human.

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Pint

I for one ...

welcome our new yeastoid overlords.

The important question is: do they convert all the sugar into alcohol?

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Coffee/keyboard

Now that's what I call research!

Test 2 dishwashers in the UK and find one contaminated and it's the end of the world!

Either that or the the test lab in Slovenia is contaminated.

Seriously getting rid of the black stains off the rubber seal on a washing machine is no easy job.

That's also why we now always get black keyboards at work.

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Pint

Really news?

Can't say I am that surprised. You put tiny particles of food on plates, sometimes leave it to sit until the end of the day ( you don't wash it through on every meal, we're all too green for that! ) and then you fire it up and it reaches internal temperatures of up to 70 degrees.

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Coffee/keyboard

V funny

You have a fungus desk?? Sweet.

But I suspect that the inevitable Daily Mail / Express article will be even funnier. Though in entirely a different way.

Is the whole "May I be the first to welcome our toadstooloid overlords" meme still de rigueur?

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Boffin

It is.

(letters)

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Boffin

Definitely

(more letters)

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NRT
Coat

It may be de rigueur.

But it isn't fungi.

Nick.

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So that's what it is

Been wondering what the brown slime is that builds up around the bottom seal of the dishwasher. I scrape it off, it comes back. Time to take precautions...blast it from , it's the only way to be sure.

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Pint

Alternatively...

...couldn't we convert the dishwasher into a beer-making machine? After all, yeast is required to make beer...

(obvious choice of icon)

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Joke

The KILLER MUTANT FUNGUS in YOUR DISHWASHER?

Are you talking about my mum?

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WTF?

OK then - how do we slay the beasts?

Bleach?

Fungicide?

I expect this to spawn a whole new shelf area in the domestic cleaning aisle at Tescos - a problem being an opportunity in disguise.

The scare stories will be legion.

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Mushroom

see your doctor...

...he's got a drug that's right for you, just ask!

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Mushroom

10% bleach

SOP for nuking fungi, bacteria and viruses.

Just use a spray bottle & spritz the bleach on all the surfaces, let stand 20'.

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I thought the cure for fungal infections

Was natural yogurt?

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