back to article BMW intros revamped Mini as sporty MG-alike

Has BMW lost the plot? We have to wonder, given what it's been doing to the Mini of late. It's newsest attempt to extend the acme of small cars: a coupé model, introduced today. OK, so it hasn't been as hit as hard with the ugly stick as its stablemate, the Countryman - a vehicle that's just plain wrong - but the Coupé is again …

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"no word on pricing yet"

Don't bother. They could not pay me enough to even stand near one, let alone drive it.

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Pint

BMW seems to have a rule to hire freak designers to destroy a franchise

BMW seems to have a rule to hire freak designers to rather destroy a franchise before it could age into a slow decline...?

That thing is so ughh wrong....

I could think of any number of ways to make a decent coupe to the mini line, without trying to turn it into a 3 dimensional Picasso style piece of visual disturbance.

Soon, I expect, they'll come out with asymetric cars, using electronic assists to prevent them from driving perpetual spirals on the road.

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False advertising?

Is it just me or is the "Mini" now actually a "Maxi"?

Has anyone told Austin?

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Ah! Maxi my first car!

Best car in the world to me at the time.

Clutch change was a 30minute job,

with Hydrolastic suspension you could get 2 foot ground clearance,

and

seats were straight from a DFS sale!

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5th gear

You ever have the problem of needing 2 people to change gear 4th to 5th? Apart from that foible I agree the maxi was a much underated car and given its front wheel drive was very capable in hilly snowy country.

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Maxi!

Yes my arms were much stronger in those days, the best experience was on the M1 and the gear stick came off in my hand while changing gear.

Remember people saying, "what this has 5 gears!" and "what's front wheel drive!"

With snow tryes on I could go up the hill at the back of Olivers Mount in Scarborough!

Bring back the Maxi! That's what I say!

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is it me...

or does it look kinda cool?

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@Kaned

No, it's you.

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WTF?

God, that's bloody ugly

or does it look kinda cool? - No it doesn't, it's just you!!

What are BMW smoking these days? the orginal new mini was OK, if not to my taste, but they do seem to be hell bent on trashing the brand

Also what are El Reg smoking - If I ant read about Cars I will got to Auto Express. Where a car is loaded with cool tech like the new Focus then OK, but this isn't.....

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@Citizen Kaned

"is it me...

or does it look kinda cool?"

Definitely you.

:o)

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FAIL

wrong.

its definitely just you... sweet jesus it's foul...

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jai
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no, it's not just you

i frikken love it!!

my cooper s is great fun to drive. this looks to have a lower centre of gravity, probably going to be even more fun

can't wait to get one!!

i'll wave at the rest of you haters as i go past :-)

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Anonymous Coward

I think it looks pretty cool too!

Not that I would buy one - but tbh I dont think theyre aimed at me.

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panic stations!!!!!

Quick MG are making a comeback, drop an anvil on the existing mini and release it as a coupe, just to through it in their faces that you still own the rights to the mini name!

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On the ugly scale...

I would put this as about the best looking of all the 'new' mini models. That is starting from a fairly low baseline though.

At least it gets past how, viewed from the back, they look like someone stuck an old mini into a low-sided trailer, although again to be fair, this seems to be the norm for all re-releases such as the mini, the fiat500 etc etc etc

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Feeling the pain......

...from the Fiat 500 much guys?

Why would you buy a Mini? Everyone I know thats bought one over the years has gotten rid of it within 18 months.

In that time the novelty wears off in terms of crap bootspace or staggeringly high parts and servicing.

The Mini - Filed under "seemed a good idea at the time"

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Pirate

Hello Kettle? Pot here...colour check...Over....

I agree with what you say but the 500 is a bit of a pose mobile itself and has most of the same shortcomings.

In fact it's just a more expensive way of buying a Fiat Panda. Wait till the Twin Air engine 'trickles down' to the Panda and you'll notice a lot more Panda's being sold.

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Great

Not only is it ugly, but I can't see there being any practical purpose to that retractable spoiler. It's a front-wheel-drive car, after all. And even the souped-up "John Cooper Works" is going to be crapped on by a Golf GTi.

Massive fail.

Also what's the relevance of MG to all this? BMW never really had anything to do with MG, they bought MG-Rover in 1994 and sold it again in 2000 having made no significant impact.

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Anonymous Coward

"crapped on by a Golf GTi"

especially mine. Mwwwwwhahahahahaha.

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Depends

The Golf GTi seems fairly comparable on 0-60 and top speed.

http://www.volkswagen.co.uk/#/new/golf-gti-vi/which-model/engines/top-speed/

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FAIL

On more than one account:

Quote: "The vanilla Coupé runs from 0-62mph in 9s to reach a top speed of 127mph"

My Pensioner Utility Vehicle aka Daihatsu Sirion Mk1/2003 hits 62mph in 9s. If it is a sports car it should at least be able to out-accelerate your average OAP cart for crying out loud.

Massive FAIL.

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jai
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sports car

quote: "Quote: "The vanilla Coupé... If it is a sports car..."

if you're after a sports car, you're not going to be getting the vanilla option, are you?

you'll be getting at least the S

and if your wallet is fat enough, you'll get the JCW version

and the only time you'll see one of those while sitting in your Daihatsu is while it's disappearing into the distance, leaving you eating it's dust

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Boffin

RE: Great

"....it ugly...." Agreed.

".....I can't see there being any practical purpose to that retractable spoiler. It's a front-wheel-drive car, after all....." Ermm, actually front- or rear-wheel drive, a spoiler can still benefit the roadholding if it is designed correctly. Whether it needs to be an expensive, likely-to-fail-because-it's-more-electrics retractable one is debateable, but then seeing as the people that buy modern MINIs are more interested in flash than function, they will probably see it as a plus point.

".....is going to be crapped on by a Golf GTi....." You mean the new GTi? And how much more does that cost, how much bigger is it, and how much bigger (and thirstier) will the GTi's engine be? I suggest you compare with something in the same class, like maybe the Polo GTi. Then again, maybe not - the Polo GTi is just as fast accellerating as the bigger Golf GTi, which kinda makes you look silly for buying the Golf!

"......what's the relevance of MG to all this...." The original plan was that the replacement for the Rover 25 would share the same base as the MINI, and an MG version was planned. Which begs the question how much of this is original work and how much is just a rehash of the MG that was planned.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: RE: Great

FWIW, the MG reference is because, to me, it looks like an over-inflated MG Spitfire.

I could have said Spitfire in the headline, but then some commentard would have complained the car has no wings.

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Triumph

Not to quibble, but the Spfire was a Triumph not an MG...

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Happy

RE: Re: RE: Great

".......but then some commentard would have complained the car has no wings." Or worse, Lewis Page would be posting saying how we should buy F-22s instead!

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Anonymous Coward

"Has BMW lost the plot?"

Or has El Reg. Car reviews? really?

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FAIL

"it hasn't been as hit as hard with the ugly stick as... the Countryman"

Should have gone to specsavers.

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Coat

Mixing your units

CO2 in g/km, speed in mph, torques in Nm but power in hp, acceleration 0-62 mph. Your mixing of Imperial and metric units is confusing me. Please can you use a single unified system of measurement?

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Good point

Can torque be measured in elephants per second?

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@Code Monkey

Why would you want to do that?

Everyone knows the best units to show torque in are Cats per Square Ironing Board.

Anything else is meaningless.

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Anonymous Coward

woah there

Everyone knows the correct unit for torque is torques. I mock thee lb/ft

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Pocket Rocket with Might He Sting Cache

A post modern Hornet of the Family.

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Facepalm

re: A post modern Hornet of the Family.

@amanfromMars 1: Pocket Rocket with Might He Sting Cache. A post modern Hornet of the Family.

What's a "post modern Hornet of the Family", provide full online citations and examples ..

--

.. quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur ..

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MJI
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Where are the mouse buttons?

It is shaped like a mouse!

As to BMW coupes - rather have 1 M at least it is proper wheel drive.

But a good condition M635 would be lovely.

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FAIL

Anyone else hear a whirring noise?

That's the sound of Alec Issigonis spinning up to 24K RPM in his grave that is....

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Anonymous Coward

Apart from the silly red roof,

It's rather a nice-looking car!

And... re The-Reg stuff....

Maybe cars could be under "Hardware" amd games reviews could be, errr ...on some other site?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Apart from the silly red roof,

Hardware covers personal tech, so for now that's the best place for games.

Unless you like mixing games reviews and SAP news, of course...

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I agree...

I quite like the look of it!

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Anonymous Coward

silly red roof

but being a mini, you'll be able to choose from a whole range of colours and choice of decals

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Devil

MGs were pretty

That BMW thing isn't.

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Since when has...

having a retractable spoiler made you an MG?

More like Porche I would have thought.

Although that's a comparison that really doesn't work.

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Comparisons aside

A retractable spoiler on a front wheel drive car makes it heavier and less fuel-efficient for no reason whatsoever.

The rest of the car's shite as well. I rather liked the old new Mini* but the new new Minis are awful.

* not enough to own one, mind

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However...

It would be a good car to have if you wanted to save money on fuel, as it's so pig ugly, you wouldn't want to get near enough to it to drive it.

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Happy

I'd rather have an MGF

for a tenth of the cost and just stick a grand in the bank for if it gets the head gasket failure (although I've had an F and a TF and never had a problem).

A great fun drivers car, sadly spoilt by the "hairdresser" stigma. Same with the Suzuki SJ or Vitara - take one off road and rally it to the limit and you'll agree!

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Anonymous Coward

Re I'd rather have an MGF

I'd rather have about any other car!

Btw, head gasket failure shouldn't happen if you keep the revs between 2k and 3k until the oil reaches operating temperature. I've learnt that after the first (and last) HGF - just two days before warrenty ran out.

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WTF?

BMW Plonkers

The once classic Mini turned into franchised production line of bland Euro cars. The name MINI is meaningless on these cars.

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Holmes

GTM

Surely if you want a mini powered coupe, you want a GTM - with all the added benefits of recycling!

p.s. It ran over the ugly stick, it seems...

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Poor thing

Ye godz! That thing us UGLY.

This would be something to be driven at night when people can't see who's in it.

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FAIL

really?

erm...

Its got a nice boot i guess!!

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