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back to article Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook

A Philadephia woman who decided it was a bright idea to publicly recruit a hitman on Facebook is behind bars after the intended victim's mum spotted her murderous solicitation. Eley London, 20, allegedly hit the social network on 23 May following a row with Corey Jerome White, the father of her one-year-old daughter. She posted …

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Headmaster

an equal opportunities employer

Judging by the replies from the man in question, it's good to see that she was prepared to employ someone for whom Engish isn't his first language.

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Trollface

<3

Engish!

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Unhappy

It's exploitation.

Proposed pay being clearly under market rates, I'd still class it as immigrant exploitation. For that cash you can't even pay for a walk-on return ticket Scotland-Newquay [just an example --- I don't know what kind of transport cost was needed in their case].

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re: <3

It might have been a reference to the Philadephia (missing 'l') in the article.

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Bronze badge

I did think it was

affordable.

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Headmaster

But you missed the "summary" at the end

I think the cop was *surmising*, not summarising, which is what the article did,

<--- I want TWO teacher icons!

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Bronze badge

"Kill my baby father"...

Sounds like daddy did go time travel. So, if she killed her "baby father", he couldn't go to the future EVER again, meaning she'd likely be still-birthed by and unborn through time.

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Megaphone

Newsfeed

Eley London has changed their relationship status to It's Complicated

Timothy Bynum Likes this

Eley London is now friends with Timothy Bynum

Corey Jerome White is Single

His mum Likes this

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Silver badge

"It's shocking that people are just so stupid."

Really?

He needs to read some YouTube comments.

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I think he meant "lucky" instead of "shocking"

as a policeman, I mean.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Thumb Up

"It's shocking that people are just so stupid."

I am shocked it toke you this long to figure it out!

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Unhappy

It's also depressing

that such people tend to procreate before they end up behind bars or pushing up the daisies, often due to their own stupidity.

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Ru
Meh

Au Contraire

It is a good thing that people are this stupid.

It wouldn't have needed a whole lot more brains to arrange for someone's death and actually getting the guy killed before being caught.

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Black Helicopters

Fortunately

This sort of stupidity is largely learned (taught, I suspect*). Wherever the kid ends up, it is likely better off without that particular role model.

* While I wouldn't go as far as to claim it to be an actively organised conspiracy, the 'dumbing down' of the population through the persuance of the lowest-common-denominator citizen does seem to beneifit our governments and their corporate sponsors rather a lot: people who can think straight are at risk of voting 'wrong' and buying the 'wrong' products and all that.

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Cause and effect

Yeah, that's not so much a conspiracy as the end result of opportunism.

People see the trend and position themselves to benefit from it. Those who make the best job of their positioning end up at the top of our society, hence they're influential. They're not making us stupid because they're powerful, we're making them powerful because we're stupid.

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Thumb Up

Ow my balls

Idiocracy. You should watch it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy

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@Goat Jam

Scariest. Movie. Ever.

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Silver badge

Idiot. You don't look for a hitman on facebook...

...you google for a hitman.

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Angel

LinkedIn-

Where the professionals are...

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Devil

Re LinkedIn

So which group are they members of and is it an open group?

Just idle curiosity ya know...

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Sometimes

They just email you out of the blue.

http://www.scamorama.com/prolite_agnes_hitlad.html

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Thumb Up

Google? Nah.

This is called "crowdsourcing", it's what it's at.

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FAIL

Maybe ...

... she should share a cell with Joanne Fraill.

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@spudmasterflex

Yes cause only Americans are stupid. Wait I mean American people. Cause every knows every country has a group of whack job politicians.

Pulls out the daily mail . beats head in.

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Happy

In other news...

Philadelphia's police service found to be surfing facebook all day rather than solving existing case files.

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FAIL

Further news, illiterates read TheRegister.

Which part of "[intended victim] contacted the police" escaped you?

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WTF?

They weren't

But it looks like it might be a good idea if they did.

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Boffin

"It's shocking that people are just so stupid."

Unless you have worked in support for any length of time..

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Trollface

"Unless you have worked in support"

a bit off topic, but this happened to me the other day

a user called about the printout he got from our EPR, I checked, found the error and fixed it, but to my surprise the user still insist that the mistake is there. This sent me hunting for the problem, even going to as far as connecting to his PC in our remote branch. Many hours (literately) were spent trying to figure out why the problem is not going away, I was even thinking of reinstalling the machine for the user.

I tried once again to ask the user to check the printout if it is coming out correctly or not, he immediately said "No". This gave me a pause, the user reply this time was too fast, there is no way he could have got the print out that fast....

me ask "did you print a _fresh_ copy"

the user reply "No, I have the same paper I printed in the morning".

"err.. since morning I've been asking you to check the printout, were you printing fresh copies or were you looking at the same paper" I ask while thinking of a good untraceable way to commit murder

"I've been looking at the same paper, _you_ didn't ask me to print a fresh copy! Should I print a fresh copy and waste paper?"

I wasted half a day because somebody expected the fix to repair the already printed document! And somehow... it was _my_ fault for not being clear!

Ms Bee, sorry for going off topic, but the stupidity of this user did really shock me!

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: "Unless you have worked in support"

That is fantastically off-topic. There are no guns, stacks or bulls to be found anywhere in that.

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Unhappy

Re: "Unless you have worked in support"

Well, it goes both ways. It doesn't take too long in an organisation to work out which support people are worth talking to and which are better 'dropping-out' the call on! We're lucky where I work in that most of my place's best people are contractors in teir-1 so the problem is fixed before you need to deal with the can't-be-fired permonants in teir-2, who know less than your sample user above.

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FAIL

Time: Early 90's

Place: Your everyday hardware repair company.

10 Customer bring in dot matrix printer along with reams of printouts.

15 Customer complains that the printer will not print the letter 'T'

20 Tech tests printer,

25 Tech returns to customer with test prints that showed it printing 'T'

30 ANGER = ANGER +1

35 IF ANGER < 5 GOTO 10

40 Customer brings in entire PC complete with monitor, printer "hard drive" and keyboard.

50 Tech hooks up PC and test

55 Tech discover letter 'T' on the keyboard is borked.

60 Customer leave premises with new keyboard

A legend is born.

We had another chap send his entire PC, including monitor and printer 4000KM from Perth WA to Sydney NSW without calling first. All it had was a note that said "dead, blank screen"

The fix was to turn on the monitor.

For an idea of the distance involved;

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=Sydney,+New+South+Wales,+Australia&daddr=Perth,+Western+Australia,+Australia&hl=en&geocode=FZsz-_0dszwDCSnFAZBWlpcSazFgqDIWaH0BBA%3BFaJyGP4dyd3nBimtu9mea5QyKjHgVd81tfAEBA&mra=ls&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=49.176833,114.169922&ie=UTF8&t=h&z=5

Fail for the legions of id10t computer users out there .

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Facepalm

Oook, BASIC!

You forgot to initialise ANGER.

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Bronze badge

well

Some years ago a councilwoman of a suburban county outside Washington, DC, concluded that she would be better off without her husband. She attempted to recruit a hit man by way of a fellow whose family had had repeated quarrels with the county over the family's trash transfer station ("tip", I think one says Over There). He was a law-abiding fellow, though, and so the prospective hit man the councilwoman negotiated with was an undercover policeman with a tape recorder in his pocket. She went to jail.

Nothing especially surprising there, right? But within six months after this was all over the pages of The Washington Post, another disgruntled housewife attempted to hire a hit man by way of the same fellow. That impressed me.

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Bronze badge

And so we scorn the codfish

"within six months after this was all over the pages of The Washington Post, another disgruntled housewife attempted to hire a hit man by way of the same fellow."

It pays to advertise?

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FAIL

$1000?

If I wanted someone killed properly, with minimal evidence and plausible deniability, I'd expect to be paying rather a lot more than $1000.

Which proves how stupid she is for accepting the offer, and how stupid he is for not charging more.

Also, do people not realise that posting stuff on Facebook is like shouting it out in a room filled with all your mates and family?

I'm guessing we aren't losing any cures for cancer in these two, anyway...

Steven R

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Facepalm

What a pair of utter morons

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all.

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Does the deleted post refer

to Craigslist? 'Cause I was going to say -

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Coat

If it were in Britain...

She'd have been able to find one for free… thanks to our Dave and his 'Big Society' plans.

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FAIL

ima mop that bull

that phrase conjurers up images to me of a cowshed that desperately needs cleaning up!

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My goodness.

One can only hope that her daughter is fostered with a family that can support her out of the situation she's currently in. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I'm not sure that baby-mother should really be breeding...

That was quite a horrible thing to say, wasn't it? Still, not sure I'm wrong...

Facebook just keeps finding new ways to be useful...

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@BorkedAgain

Well, I'm damned sure this baby mother should definitely not be breeding, ever. (And I can't be arsed to consider whether this sounds judgemental ;-)

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Anonymous Coward

Perhaps they should investigate Becky...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa7why6CCyo

Enjoy :)

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I don't believe it.

I cannot believe peoples can be so stupid. I'ma gonna try myself on this facebook thing an see if I can get meself a ITman.

Anon.

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Paris Hilton

T.W.A.T

Blooming idiot, everyone knows if you want a hitman just check your email for 419 scams.

Anyway facebook isnt any good to get hitmen, there quite secretive and dont tend to talk a lot, perhaps twitter would be a suitable alternative.

A few tips for contracting a hitman online:

You should call your local law enforcement, they will have a list of villains, this will prevent you being ripped off by scammers.

Your local newspaper is read by many criminals checking the police progress of there nefarious activities, a full page advert would cost you £300, if you dont have many followers on twitter this may help you find what you need.

You should always speak in quiet tones and wear dark glasses and a mac, and agree to meet in your local supermarket carpark after dark, hitmen expect you to follow the rules.

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Stop

U.S. is going to hell in a handbasket

"Kill my baby father"

American ghetto slang. The term is usually "baby daddy" though. Means "my child's biological father," assuming they even know who the father is. Watch American sleazy-yet-disturbingly-entertaining daytime TV shows for confirmation of this, if you don't believe me.

"immigrant exploitation"

Not likely in this case - many people who were born and raised in the U.S. talk like that. It's just the way they were brought up, it's their new (last few decades) culture. The photo I saw didn't look like an immigrant, but rather just a normal citizen in parts of some big U.S. cities. The languages matches.

It's extremely unfortunate, given that some of their southern Black ancestors (and plenty of other people too) fought really hard for the right to have equal education and end horrible racial-segregation, the right to learn to read and write (was banned at one time in the U.S., for people deemed to belong to certain racial groups) and to *speak* in a coherent civilized manner.

Doesn't look like some of the modern descendants appreciate any of it - some of them throw it all away. Ghetto-speak and gang talk is fine if they intend to find jobs as rap-stars or cannon-fodder (for one of our perpetual wars in other parts of the world) or as pimps or drug-dealers/gangsters, but the U.S. already has a surplus of people to fill those positions.

Re stupid crooks: One has to wonder if too many generations of crack-babies and meth-babies (babies born already-addicted because of drug-addicted mothers) and other drug abuse, has permanently altered the genetic structure of those abusers and their offspring over generations. Hardcore drug use has been running amuck rampant out-of-control in many American regions/ghettos (whatever the politically-correct term is) for many decades - a downward spiral and it's taking its toll on each new generation. I don't see it getting better anytime soon - it probably hasn't even hit bottom yet. (I thought it had hit bottom in the early 1980s, but it wasn't even close - just keeps getting worse.)

It's not "racism" but rather a formerly-strong proud society self-destructing, imploding, too far gone to even know or care.

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Pint

Brilliant

She then reports her FB account was hacked....

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