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back to article Commons hit by rash of laptop thefts

The House of Commons' perennial theft problem has become increasingly high tech, with sporadic thefts of computers in recent years turning into a veritable run on laptops, according to the latest figures. In a Commons answer last week, John Thurso detailed cases of theft on the Commons Estate over the last five years, for the …

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Bronze badge

encrypted laptops, I hope

uh huh

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Silver badge
Joke

What do you expect?

When you bring together so many people of low morality...

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Go

Re: What do you expect?

... especially when you take away a large portion of their "salary", which they usually steal in the form of expenses...

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Joke

Birds of a feather

OMG! not content with stealing from the people, now there stealing from themselves

Birds of a feather stick together lol

But how do we know they have been stolen, have you ever heard a mp tell the truth. mmm

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Re: Re: What do you expect?

How else could they possibly make ends meet?

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Bottle of whisky?

A set of golf clubs?

Somehow Icv ink I'd be the one answering questions if I'd had those things stolen from my place of employment!

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Gold badge
Stop

Employment?

If it was employment, they'd have to work for the money.

They would have to justify what they did.

They could (would) be fired for their incompetence, failures and not doing what they said at interview.

They would be fired and prosecuted for embezzling money from the company.

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Big Brother

Sooooo...

...will the ICO be investigating this spate of laptop thefts and fining appropriately as they have done with Local Authorities and NHS Trusts?

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Gold badge
Joke

ICO?

Why would the ICO get involved? or are the results of the MPs games of solitare considered "personal information"?

You wouldn't expect to find anything else on the laptops would you? The file "my ebezzlement.xls" was deleted over a year ago.

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Coat

Inevitable really ...

... now they need to be more careful with their expenses, they need to make up the shortfall somehow.

Mine's the one with the watch inscribed "don't let the b*stards grind you down" in the pocket.

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Holmes

(almost) At last?

Now MP's know what it feels like to live on some council estates no?

While the rate of crime might be horribly smaller the pace of increase - ah well there's the thing.

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Holmes

That's what happens

when a large number of people with criminal records are housed in a single building!!

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Devil

Bloody Conservatives

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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Big Brother

Bumper Year

This year (2011) is only half-way so the end tally is going to be higher

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Silver badge
WTF?

Security?

This is the place with the ultra-high security to keep terrorists out? And they can't even stop every passing tea-leaf wandering in to see what he can pick up?

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Thumb Up

why passing tealeaf?

Theres 650 tealeafing fuckers there every day. (at least according to their expeses claims there are)

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Who was the MP who had charm?

Or are we talking about David Cameron's bracelet with a little doll of Nick Clegg hanging from it.

The one with all those pins stuck in it.

For when Nick Clegg himself isn't around to stick pins into.

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Holmes

Parliament full of thieves?

What a surprise...

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Holmes

The Honourable Gentlemen ...

... from Merseyside are helping Black Rod with his enquiries.

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Commons hit by rash of laptop thefts

given that many hotels & restaurants make up shortfalls from ***staff tips***, why couldn't expences pay outs to MPs be reduced by the cost of items misplaced?

As in some one involved with expenses pay outs makes an estimate as to what the total of this year's expenses bill might be on jan 1St, then deducts a percentage from reimbursements through out the year to cover last year's losses. All you do is reduce the allowances for differant things. For example instead of £10 for a sandwhich that was allowed last year, this year we allow £8.50 with £1.50 to the losses fund callled an admin fee

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Big Brother

23456

Black Plod surely!

It's all been said but, honestly, what do you expect in a den of thieves. (Am I allowed to say that?)

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NRT
Joke

"...cases of theft .............. for the benefit of MP Keith Vaz."

I think I may have solved it! ;-)

Nick.

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Gold badge

We need new metrics!!!

What is the going ratio of laptops to duck houses? As far as I can see it was £1645, it's 1:1 for a Macbook, about 2:1 for iPads, and give or take 4:1 for laptops (on the assumption that nobody in their right mind would give them anything more powerful to ruin/lose/steal).

I propose that from now on we will measure any UK government matters in duck house equivalents, or DHEs. We could also use TSEs (toilet seat equivalents), but the value of that varies too much - it sort of floats in a different way. Or is in close proximity to things that float -- aargh, sorry to leave with with that image.

Anyway, DHEs anyone? El Reg? Can we add that to the official metrics?

Personally, I think El Reg needs a permanent front page link to these metrics, and their iPhone App should have a conversion facility built in or at least a link..

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Silver badge

the duckhouse eh???

I like it, tht's...

lemmie see

1/3 of an archer isnt it?

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