back to article BOFH: Ready for the Judgment Day

"THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREE FEEDBACK!" the PFY gasps "SOUNDS FANTASTIC!!!" "Really?" the Boss says doubtfully... "Somehow I thought that you wouldn't be all that keen." "Au contraire," the PFY responds. "We here and Systems and Networks are only too keen to know the thoughts and feelings of our clientele. We hope to match …

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Happy

Back on form

Let me be first!

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WTF?

I thought...

all posts were moderated. So how did a 'first' get through? Actually, how come we often see "deleted by a moderator" messages?

I don't know why I'm asking - I'm pretty sure this will never see the light of day. :)

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I thought...

So what? A firstie is a rare thing around here. You overestimate the extent of our give-a-shit, sir.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: I thought...

Also, when you see that it says 'deleted by moderator', it indicates that a comment has been deleted by a moderator. Hope this helps.

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Devil

Mistress Bee

God help us all if you every get hold of a cattleprod

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Pint

Well done

"Let me be first!"

I believe that makes it your round - I'll have a Guinness.

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Silver badge
Go

And yet another

internet fetish is born...

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Terminator

re: Mistress Bee...

She's already got one; they are generally standard issue for forum moderators.

(is moderator of the miscreants over in Livejournal's Techsupport community)

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Joke

You first?

No, me.

I hate sloppy seconds.

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Silver badge

Wannabe Heroes and Global Operating Devices ..... the Flip and Flop Sides of the COIN Game

"And the rest is history – and we all know whom history is written by.

The Proxy... ®"

And who writes the future for its historic fundamental base/enlightened source ...... Noble Sages/Foxy Savages/SMART Machines?

Yes, of course they do.

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Anonymous Coward

This is why BOFH is so good...

...It cuts just close enough to the truth to cause tears of rage!

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Black Helicopters

Positive

Who would dare to give a negative? And who would need to? (It's a long time since I dared to participate in one of those 360 degrees surveys).

Nice piece. Loved it.

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And in other news..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13470731

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Holmes

Alternatively...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/20/german_reinsurer_orgy/

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Thumb Up

the last line

"history is written by.

The Proxy.."

classic

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Happy

Classic!

The PFY neglects to mention at this point that the negative and positive experiences he's talking about are those generally associated with an Alternating Current

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Mushroom

Duke Nukem

Hands-up who's already played it today? I got up early to download my demo so I could play it before work :D

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Thumb Up

I haven't played it yet...

...but I did already pre-order it on a credit card.

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Pint

DNF on a credit card??

I hardly had a bankcard, let alone a CC, when I paid for my preorder.

See also Penny Arcade from earlier this week... In my case I've actually had 12 house moves since DNF's announcement, so any hope for paper proof of preordering is nil.

YMMV.

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Indeed

Back on form indeed!

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Anonymous Coward

AC cattleprods?

Cattleprods are DC, not AC.

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Trollface

I find that bit of information

positively shocking!

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some words go here

Although an AC Cattleprod would be rather interesting

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Paris Hilton

AC Cattleprods

Might be... but the PFY upgraded his cattle prod so an AC current would be needed at some point I guess...

Paris well why not...

I wouldn't mind an Amy Pond in police uniform and Emma Watson icon as well

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Devil

modified

I think BOFH modified cattle prods use AC. AC is better choice as it is harder for the 'cattle' to get away.

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Paris Hilton

AC Cattleprods

Might be... but the PFY upgraded his cattle prod so an AC current would be needed at some point I guess...

Paris well why not...

I wouldn't mind an Amy Pond in police uniform and Emma Watson icon as well

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Silver badge
Gimp

Is that you again?

Edison??

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Silver badge
Gimp

No.

It's Nikola, let me show you my alternative.

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Boffin

Your standard cattleprod is fairly low voltage...

Around 12 volts, if memory serves. But, they also come with a hefty battery. Given the addition of DC-to-AC at one end, a long line of AC capacitor+diode voltage steppers, and finishing with a few diodes and some really big inductors... you can turn a long, tingly zap into a short, leaves-a-crater zap. Plus, that lovely resonance in the human body causes certain frequencies to be much more devastating than others.

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Happy

DC is better

You can't just slip away as you pass out. MOAR!

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360 degree feedback

When filling out my yearly evaluation, since there was no formal feedback system on the night shift, I marked "YES" for "Participated in 360 degree feedback" and noted next to it that "I gave feedback all around". Got high marks that year :-)

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Gold badge
Happy

Brian Kernighan called...

"Yeah, we recompiled your browsers ages ago. They don't use ssl like they should. The PROXY uses ssl instead."

... He wants his plot device back.

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@Ken Hagan

I think that was Ken Thompson who wrote "Reflections on Trusting Trust"

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Silver badge
Thumb Up

Embraces diversity

is one of the categories on our reviews. When reviewing my subordinate, who is of Hispanic (and other) extraction, I, of course, gave him full marks.

//only a once yearly event, thank goodness.

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Thumb Up

Remember that one...

Got the same question for the woman who "spreads warmth" at the office. Of course I gave her high marks. She cuddles with all the guys, regardless of origins!

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Headmaster

ssl proxies

Actually you don't need to recompile the browser to intercept SSL wrapped sessions.

Just install your own Trusted Certificate Authority certificate on the employee's machines.

SSL session between the browser and the proxy uses a made up on the fly cert for www,whateversite.com and the browser trusts it as a valid cert because it has been signed by BOFHsign CA which it trusts :)

So when at work worth checking actually who signed that cert you are trusting by clicking on that padlock :)

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Silver badge

As the BOFH used to say....

*Clickety Click*

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That sort of works...

Our nanny filter does a similar trick in order to sniff https sessions.

Firefox, IE, and Chrome all see through it when they try to verify the site's actual certificate, though. It could also be that it's not a root level wildcard cert. (which we probably should do, but that's playing with the kind of fire that we'd rather not play with.)

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Silver badge

how can you detect this?

in either the user or host space?

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Recompiled browser...

Why would you trust that the browser would tell you who signed the certificate?

Also, the proxy will detect when you try to download a compiler, and instead send you a modified version of said compiler. When you compile the source for your browser, the compiler will detect that you are trying to compile a browser and insert the desired anti-privacy features.

You cannot create a trusted environment in an untrusted one.

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cd
Thumb Up

Um...

I just want to say that you're doing a great job, Sarah! ++++

Good enough?

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Big Brother

this seems familiar

Simon has worked for TwoLetter Acronym or its TLA predecessor has he ?

Anon and cryptic in self interest. I know they are listening, but not hearing.

The BS and shill count increases after every anonymous survey.

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Meh

I love BOFH but...

This one just felt really weak. Normally I don't complain but I much prefer actual victimisation of users, not just the promise of victimisation.

Now how about a toilet refitted with retractable automated cattle prod and voice recognition?

<groan> <thwup... kzeeert>

Perfect way to catch problem users (all users unless proven otherwise probably...) when they least expect it.

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Boffin

I was going to complain...

...that AC currents don't have positive or negative. But then I realised, they do: it just changes regularly. In fact, if it is a true sine wave, the change maps to a circle, so 360deg feedback indeed!

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Devil

cattle-prod AC/DC

Your classic battery-powered bovine-moving gimcrack uses a switch and relay to interrupt a DC current, supplying half a fairly square AC wave to the primary windings of a coil with a much larger secondary winding. Higher albeit amperically attenuated voltage results. That's the basic principle - generate, mirror, boost, tune etc. thereafter as you please. Send SAE for basic plans.

git along little doggy

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