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back to article Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel

Those film fans among you who were sitting in darkened rooms, trembling at the prospect of Hollywood's re-imagining of Paul Verhoeven's 1990 sci-fi romp Total Recall, should rest assured that things look promising for the latest interpretation of Philip K Dick's We Can Remember It for You Wholesale. First up, Arnold …

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Unhappy

Leave it be!

Seriously this rebooting of old movies has got to stop. The Arnie version is perfect the way it is. The TV series was dull and boring and it sounds like the reboot is just as dull and boring. Plus will there be Jonny Cab?

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Sir

I can see where you are coming from, but re-creating a movie doesn't suddenly delete the old one from all history does it?

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Meh

One of my fav Arnie films...

Can't see why they would do this. So much going for the original.

Ah well, I thought the BSG remake would turn out to be total shite (the last season was) but on the whole it wasn't too bad.

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Coat

Re: Leave It Be

Jonny Cab is rumoured to be played by Ed Miliband

/ The one with the mutant friendly pockets

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T J
Childcatcher

Not a reboot as far as I can tell?

If they are calling it 'Total Recall' then I guess they are rebooting the title. But otherwise this looks like an attempt to actually re-tell the book, which is all anyone should care about.

The Arny film was an utter, utter, steaming abortion. Not even a PKD plot could save it.

So let's see what they come up with.

When you tell a PKD story 'straight', or an approximation of straight, you get a good result.

Screamers was brilliant despite being very low budget, Minority Report survived having Tom Cruise in it, and we all know about Blade Runner.

Now if they want to get real, they should tackle 'The Three Stigmata Of Palmer Eldritch'.

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Stop

OK but...

I welcome this one this open arms, especially if Mr Nighy is along for the ride, but please stop using the word "re-imagining".

Happily skipping along the sentances, reading the article then you hit "re-imagining" and it's as if a giant bee as flown into your mouth and your choking while being stung!!

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it is what it is

Re-imagining is a perfectly accurate description of Hollywood's current attempts to cover up the fact that they no longer do original work.

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Facepalm

Nope, the accurate word is:

"Remake"

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm....

I could spend all that money to go and see it in the cinema...

or maybe I could just pay someone to inject an artificial memory of having seen the film.

Then at least I will have enjoyed the experience.

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Anonymous Coward

Howto

seeing the trailers often enough and reading the positive reviews, might do the trick..

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Thumb Down

Consider it a divorce

Can we actually file for divorce with Holliwood? The Quaid way?

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Anonymous Coward

Arrghhh

Now I know i'm old. FFS, they're remaking movies that were made when I was in my twenties.

Either that or they really are completely out of ideas.

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this is a title!

it's the latter, kid.

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Unhappy

could they make it any cheesier than the original?

all signs point to yes

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It will be difficult to beat Verhoeven's

It's the only movie I can think of where not a single frame is wasted. There is always something happening, and for that reason alone (never mind all the others) it is easily one of the best sci-fi action movies ever made.

Now, compare and contrast with the Twilight franchise...

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Trollface

A Title,

Good Idea! That's what was missing from Total Recall, sparkly vampires!!1

Twilight Recall at Wizards school! Best movie eva!

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Joke

Or we could do it as a Clint Eastwod "Dirty Harry" mash-up

Of course, if we can get "Dirty Harry" Callahan in the movie, we would have to call it "Total Recoil"

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Megaphone

big fan of the original

especially the quote....

Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air!

where "air" is pronounced "Ay-errr" by arnie. cracks me up.

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This is why we can't hve nice things

First the AHNULD version, and now the Underworld version! Great! Why not lets just go piss on Phil's grave?

OTOH, Bill Nighy is a good move, he was in Sean of the Dead so he can do no wrong.

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I still can't believe John Woo made such a fcukup of Payback

The original short story is fast paced and actually reads like a treatment for an action movie, yet the film was tedium incarnate. They should try remaking that instead as the original (unlike Total Recall) is a crime.

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Alien

Book version

Agreed, when I saw they were making a film of the story I thought "great!" until I actually saw the film. That's not to say it was total hash, but I felt the original ending of seeing the USA turning into a totalitarian state and the main character's attempts to join the good fight would be a much better ending than "seeing the future causes end of the world". Although the book would probably have been seen as too close to a documentary than science fiction nowadays...

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John Woo / Payback

I think you're talking about Paycheck. Payback was (shock!) an excellent movie with Mel Gibson, directed by Brian Helgeland.

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Your old mother

John Woo hasn't made a decent movie in 25 years.

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Flame

And only last week...

We had a perfectly good list of science fiction films that haven't been made yet.

What is it that makes Hollywood think the best way to make a film is to find a film already released, cut its head off, pee down the hole, stir well, and glue the head back on backwards to make some sort of shambling imbecilic monster? Does no-one in the 'creative industries' actually have any imagination?

Bah.

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WTF?

Ditch Mars?

I thought this was supposed to be harking back to the PKD story, the way Carpenter did with the original source material for The Thing? Why get rid of Mars? Damn the 1990 film, it was in the bloody Philip K. Dick story.

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Alien

Quaid? Quail! Please come back, all is forgiven!

I think that's what's actually happening, that harkening. IIRC, there's the memories of Mars in PKD but no actual Mars trip --- and as I read it this movie will stick to that instead of what the 90s movie did.

The proof of the pudding will be in the name of the lead --- Quail (as per PKD) or Quaid (as per Verhoeven).

/"It will be difficult to beat Verhoeven" and there may be laws against it; but I think it's worth a try, he definitely deserves it for Showgirls. Years ago he said he'd like to film the life of Jesus; that I would definitely want to watch -- it'll probably become a facistoid movie like Starship Troopers; I'm sure the church will hate it even more than The Life of Brian! Let's go slaugter some holy cows!

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imho....

Verhoeven completely fucked Starship Troopers up...

But.. Total Recall... excellent.

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Silver badge

Similar thoughts from me.

After finishing the article my first thought for a comment was:

So, that will be less to do with the book than even the Arnie version....

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@sT0rNG b4R3 duRiD

Nothing wrong with Starship Troopers, it's a pretty good film. It just doesn't have very much to do with a book that has the same name

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FAIL

See icon

see icon

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Coat

Kate Beckinsale

How can you mention that Bill Nighy and Len Wiseman are from Underworld, but completely ignore Kate Beckinsale in the film in black leather?

God there's no way I'm going to get any work done today now...

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Pint

Misread

I kept reading that as "replaced by Colin Firth" and was utterly baffled at the misplaced casting efforts. Friday - beer.

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Go

Well at least no ones going to confuse it with the original...

Still if its going to be so different, why not give the movie a new name? And let it try to rest on its own laurels rather then trying to piggy back on a classic?

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WTF?

Get your ass to...

...where, exactly?

TR without Mars is like Jaws without the shark!

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Stop

Oh no

Why don't they remake a rotten movie instead of one that was well made the first time ? Could it be that they just want to use the Total Recall link to drag people into the cinema, rather than actually making a good film ?

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Stop

Get ur arse back to MARS!!!

That is all......

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Unhappy

But ...

New Shanghai and Euromerica? Does that mean they've excised the totemic, iconic, utterly wonderful "Get your ass to Maaass" line? Oh woes!

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Devil

But this does open up deliciously cheesey replacement dialouge!!

Such as:

-Get your ass to EuroDisneyland!! (product placement of the year!!)

-Oh, so Euromerican??

-Euromerica was formed after Simon Cowell won the reality TV wars.... (backstory!!)

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WTF?

Ah yes, but will there be...

..a woman with three tits? Special effects have come a long way since the time of the original triple latex jubfest.

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Maybe...

...can get Daniella Atencia

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/27/distractionary_dumplings/

Or they could try Sellafield/Windscale swimming club.

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Joke

How about...

If you want to see a film with a girl with 3 tits , how about watching "3 men and a baby", Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson.

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That was fookin funny...

Most amusing comment of the day goes to you Mr Krakenfart.

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Thumb Down

How original

Running out of ideas again. Hollywood?

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Joke

Ideas?

Hollywood can't even remember what ideas are to know how to run out of them

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WTF?

I have to wonder

Since they are changing the setting and some of the premise then why not just change a few names and the name of the movie? I mean it sounds half decent, I just don't get why they HAVE to call it total recall?

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Bronze badge

How can I

upvote the subhead?

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BUT!

I think what we all really want to know, nay, NEED to know, is; Will there still be that bird with three tits in the remake?

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FAIL

wtf

Why oh God why. Just keep the original as one of the best movies ever.

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Title

Speaking on behalf of myself as well as all 15 year old boys everywhere, as long as the chick with three boobs is in it again, I'm happy.

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FAIL

We could save them some money

..and just say its going to be a crap rehash now.

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