back to article Chicago lawyer deploys distractionary dumplings

A couple of Chicago lawyers are engaged in an unseemly scrap over a busty paralegal, which one claims the other is using in court as a jubular distraction. Attorneys Thomas Gooch and Dmitry N Feofanov are facing off in a small claims case over a used car. Gooch has objected to the presence in court of Feofanov's assistant …

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Paris Hilton

May I just say...

This story is useless without pics.....

That is all.

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Thumb Up

Yeahhhh ;-)

She's got that cute geeky / spectacles look going on too ;-)

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Childcatcher

Dressed how?

If that's what she's wearing in court, it's hardly that distracting. Looks like someone is just trying to find a reason to mention in court his liking for big breasts ...

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Paris Hilton

All hail the power of boobies

I've said it before and will say it again;

Grown men turn into boys at the mere hint of a sight of boobies.

And as it's friday I can say;

was looking at mine just now in the shower........

and yes there really girls on the internet, who do you think posts all the Cat piccys?

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Anonymous Coward

@TOK 0: having just downvoted you I thought I'd explain

If 1960's stereotypes of women as fluffy, cute and unfit for anything practical offend you (as they do I) then please don't imply men are base, drooling apes.

I freely admit we can act pretty dumb at times, especially in groups, but under it all we really are not that simple[*].

[*] YMMV unfortunately.

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Pint

You aware of where you've posted?

Have you read the standard of posts whenever boobies are mentioned?

Have a cold one.......

Beer that is.

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Devil

@TOK 0: You aware of where you've posted?

Ok, touche if not outright quietus.

LOST: sense of humour. Much missed. Small, greyish, doesn't move much. If found , pump full of steroids and vitamins and send back to owner asap.

(bonnet-of-sports-car icon. Well, that's what I thought it was).

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Sorry....

Did someone say something, I got distracted by boobies.

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Paris Hilton

More like...

she looks more like Mayim Bialik (Amy Farrah Fowler) from Big Bang and she's not the member of the cast that i'd call distracting, maybe if they had Kaley Cuoco there instead.

Paris because i'd like to see Kaley Cuoco in similar video situation.

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Feofanov?

Sounds Bulgarian...

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Unhappy

Holy god it's not her tits I'm distracted by.

That face! Argh those glasses make her look like Groucho Marx !

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Seriously

That is NOT a sexy woman. Claim dismissed on account of lack of cleavage.

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I Wonder Who Feels They Are Losing?

At first I used to think that Judge Judy had the specially selected end of society. However this case shows that such litigants are really quite common in the USA. What the heck is wrong with the objector? Unless you read the news story first no one would even notice either of the people in the photograph on the linked page. Perhaps the case should be decided on its legal merits of the car's bumpers not on baseless considerations of someone's 'bumpers'?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I Wonder Who Feels They Are Losing?

It could be that she's a girl who happens to have big tits who wants to do a normal job, like any number of other girls of a wide range of cup sizes. Presumably the guy thinks she belongs in porn and has no business in a respectable line of work with those things on her.

Shitbag.

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It probably depends...

...on how she was actually dressed in the courtroom. The given picture of the young lady with her boss has her dressed in a somwhat conservative style. If this is how she was in the courtroom then you're right, this guy is a shitbag. However, we don't know that this is how she was dressed. Maybe she was sat there in a low-cut top, and mini-skirt, provocatively leaning forwards to display her assets, as it were, to all and sundry. The point is, we don't know. I suspect the truth probably lies somewhere between these two, but if this is so, then you have to wonder why someone trained as a lawyer would so blatantly grasp at straws in an attempt to gain an advantage in his case when he runs the risk of the judge finding him in contempt for it...

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Joke

Re: I Wonder Who Feels They Are Losing?

Calm down dear!

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IT Angle

@ Sarah Bee

First, you have to question why she is wearing those Harry Carry glasses. (Its a Chicago reference...)

While I don't know either lawyer, one has to ask why they are in small claims court and why would a lawyer bring in a paralegal to such a case?

So please don't get your panties in a twist.

And how is this IT related other than your porn reference cause everyone knows that Al Gore created the internet for porn....

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Anonymous Coward

With all due respect

Why is porn not considered a respectable line of work?

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Go Sarah!

I sometimes think that the last decade has seen a serious reverse in sensible attitudes to women. I call it the virtual burkha syndrome.

For heaven's sake, no-one has ever suggested that I should stick to a career in Porn, and I would be offended if they did. No matter the qualifications, I'm a better engineer.

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Joke

respectable line of work?

You are aware we are talking about attorneys, right?

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Facepalm

"I suspect the truth probably lies somewhere between these two"

I should have known better than to try speed reading El Reg's Friday comments.

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@Sarah Bee

We don't always see eye to eye, and our senses of humor are so different that I've generally given up even responding to your comments. This time, however, I just have to say that I wish I could upvote you more than once.

-d

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Porn as a respectable line of work

Personally, I do consider porn a respectable line of work - for people (women /and/ men) who want to persue that option, voluntarily. After all, a lot of people are willing to do all sorts of fascinating things and broadcast it on the 'net for free - at that point, I know /I/ wouldn't mind getting paid for it.

However, I sincerely doubt that someone who is accusing a woman of posing as a paralegal just to distract the jury is going to feel the same. No, I strongly suspect that Ms. Bee's comments are, in essence, correct. This supposition is lent support because few judges are particularly friendly to legal professionals who act in a such a grossly unprofessional manner - and dressing to deliberately distract the jury would most certainly count.

-d

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Further question having seen the picture

Are those safety specs she is wearing or did she arrive on a motorbike?

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Black Helicopters

What's with the comedy sunglasses?

It looks to me as though Mr Feofanov is trying to make her look less attractive than she really is :-)

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Devil

Are pyjamas ok in court?

Spawn of Satan? I thought it was a micro car arriving at speed...

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Devil

@Captain TickTock

Cannot unsee!

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Facepalm

Simple Solution

.. gay male jury.

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Make your mind up time

Either she's not a proper paralegal or her breasts are there purely for distraction purposes.

Non story unless the complianant makes his mind up abotn that he's actually protesting about.

Next week -- Objections as a well-turned out man is objected to as he might distract the jury?

Sexism, alive and well and the judge needs to give Gooch a fucking slap.

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Coat

Legal Terms

Any chance we can have full discloth-sure...?

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Meh

Spectacular crime

The fake & these 'make me look smart' spectacle ruse is the bigger crime. Obviously, the Americans fall for it hook, line & sinker - just look at Sarah Palin.

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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits. - for the love of god, why??

> just look at Sarah Palin.

I'd rather not...

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Coat

Judge for yourself?

We need the "after" pic.

That's after she's removed the specs, shaken her hair out (coincidently allowing her shirt to gape in the process) and the Leading Man has said; "Why! Ms Atencia, you are beautiful."

The unexpected plot twist here is that she's not a librarian.

Hollywood studios wishing to avail themselves of my scriptwriting services may reply below.....

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Judge for yourself?

God, it's a depressing world.

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WTF?

@God, it's a depressing world.

Indeed it is, but what did El Reg expect the reaction to this story would be? Don't like, don't post.

What's more, posting the story when it is only half way through, ie before the Judge has answered the question, does make it inevitable that people will fill in the blanks in different ways, and therefore see the story in very different ways.

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Stop

Case

Presumably the objecting lawyer thinks this ruse will strengthen his case. Seems unlikely. If the paralegal was really behaving innappropriately, the judge would notice and chuck her out. Court rooms are pretty strict places.

Don't like these new icon thingies.

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Appendto[Case,<post]

No!, new icons cool.

Anyway, I went to a small claims court in UK once, and it did'nt have a jury. Good ol' Cook county take their courts seriously.

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Big and round

While she is clearly carrying substantial assets she's in no way dressing to draw attention to herself/them in the attached picture.

Those ridiculous frames which are very distracting though and I move that she be removed from court immediately!

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Coat

I move

that she be removed from clothes

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What a lovely pair

of spectacles.

Actually, no, they're horrible.

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FAIL

Bored pic is...

...bored. *Yawn*

Expected a better peektur with lots of cleavage.

Fail.

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Big Brother

I kno where you live

or used to live. Hmm... which icon

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Smacks of desperation to me..

I find it unlikely that this is anything other than a diversionary tactic.

There are usually rules about how to dress in court and

I'm sure that doesn't include substantial amounts of cleavage

She just looks like a suitably dressed woman from the picture. Women have breasts,

many of them quite large - it's not exactly rare.

Even if she has an ample helping of devils dumplings, there's

this commonly used feat called 'self control' most of us have..

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Coat

That photo is the worse...

..."Where's Waldo" impersonation I have ever seen. Or is it a Harry Potter tribute???

Whenever legal issues get distracted by inane crap like this you just have to shake your head and wonder.

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Dirty bugger

Does rather seem that old Thomas Gooch is really saying that he's such a complete perv that he can't keep his mind on job in hand.

Surely you don't go out of your way to advertise that fact you can't do your job?

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Coat

"job in hand"?

That really would be contempt of court.

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Flame

Send her to Australia!

Small boobs are (apparently) a legal problem down here!

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Meh

With lawyers like these

I feel sorry for the people who hired them.

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Big Tits?

I've got bigger tits myself, and they're not mammary glands either.

Where the hand grenade "suck on this" icon gone?

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No Handgrenade

Oh, yes,1. You have to blow the whole village to hell now.

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