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back to article Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock

California preacher Harold Camping is unrepentant following his second unsuccessful attempt to predict Judgment Day, and now says true believers should pack their bags for ascension to heaven on 21 October. Camping's first stab at nailing the Rapture advised Christians to get their earthly affairs in order before 6 September …

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He missed it by one day only!

Camper's whole doomsday already happend, just neither him nor many others noticed the ascension crap but proof is at El very Reg: only the only REALLY holynoshitty iThing ascended to heaven in due time: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/20/vaz_ipad_nicked/

How to correctly claim this to the insurer remains to be seen but given that the world as we knew it already ended it that doesn't really matter, does it?

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Coat

as already mentioned...

acts of god tend not to be covered ;)

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Anonymous Coward

FREAK

for spouting the bullshite and FREAKS listening to him.

Clearly a case for sectioning.

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guess what he says on 22nd?

er... 3rd time lucky???

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Alert

What he says on 22nd

"My bad everyone. It turns out it was all a load of Bronze-age superstition that some of us all took a bit too seriously. Now how about we all stop blowing each other up over who's invisible friend is best and just - y'know - get on."

Well I can dream, can't I?

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@illiad

This *is* his third attempt :)

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Happy

@illiad

"er... 3rd time lucky???"

More like 4th.

He's had a previous go at this and it did not work out then.

Numerical overflow bugs can be *so* pernicious.

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FAIL

Third time lucky?

More like 3 strikes and you're out!

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FAIL

That's what happens when...

...you try to do math w/ NaNs. (You don't really think deific math is done with rational numbers, do you?)

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a53

I guess

if he lives long enough he'll get it right, one day.

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credulous moron

really? the bible?

are you sure??

i thought it was just an unbelieveable jewish folk tale about a snake and an apple.

oh yes i was/am/will be correct.

rupture - my arse

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That depends which part you read

If you read the "Song of Songs" part it can also be considered as a very believable Jewish folk tale about T*TS and SH*GGING.

If you take the text literally of course...

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Coat

Rupture your arse?

I'll have to say "thanks but no thanks" to that offer!

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Bad tactic

Seems he's going for the "I'm bound to get it right eventually" approach.

He clearly isn't very good at calculating probability (although, if it happens before his prediction, I don't suppose anyone would take him up on it).

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Axe
FAIL

Ha Ha Harold is a fraud.

OMG, I'm loving evey minute of this, how stupid can some people be?

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Axe
FAIL

Rapture?

Mumbo Jumbo.

we're all going to die I tells ya......

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I'm not religious..

but isn't there something in that book about False Prophets?

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That book

There's something in that book about it being easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. It doesn't stop these bastards lining their pockets.

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It's easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle...

...if you pass it through a liquidiser first.

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Happy

Credit where it's due.

You got that idea from seeing this Luke Surl cartoon, didn't you?

http://www.lukesurl.com/archives/798

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Nope,

I've never previously heard of the guy nor seen his poorly drawn comics. I do however admit that this particular aphorism isn't my own: I got it from Les Barker, the comedic poet.

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Pint

I stand corrected.

Wonder if Surl is a Barker fan?

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FAIL

Is this like String Theory?

Make test! Reality doesn't comply? No problem, clarify what you _really_ wanted to say.

Also, imaginary friends in the sky etc.

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Happy

Mathematical error

he's not the first...Homer Simpson made one too...

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Joke

Crayon up his nose

Has our hero got one like Homer?

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FAIL

Pinheads

That is all.

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Complex numbers

Got his maths right now has he? Removed the imaginary numbers from his equations perhaps?

"Camping now says he simply misinterpreted the word of God"

As do the millions of others who use the so called word of god to control, manipulate and subjugate the gullible.

Misinterpreted?

Because scripture and the alleged word of god are usually interpreted to agree with and support the motive, morality and agenda of those doing the interpreting. I would be very surprised if a correct and unbiased interpretation of any scripture ever surfaced.

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Anonymous Coward

You're just jealous

because you got left behind.

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Coat

Re: you got left behind

Isn't that a more reasonable explanation? That this guy got his sums right but last Saturday there *were* no righteous folks worth taking up and so we're all damned in five months? You've got to admit, it fits the evidence.

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Pirate

@Lee

I would have been positively offended had I not been left behind, personally.

GJC

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Who'd notice, really?

3 million to be saved, and 7 billion + on the planet - That's less than 3 in 7000 to be 'saved' - I bet on an average day, there are more than 3 in 7000 missing persons cases, world-wide. If indeed a 'rapture' were to happen, I'm willing to bet no one notices it.

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Boffin

You lose

3 in 7000 is 0.04%. At that attrition rate, half the world's population would go missing in 1,617 days, which is about four and a half years. I'm willing to bet we'd be noticing if persons went missing at that rate.

The global death rate is about 155,000 people per day, currently. Three million "saved" could be gleaned in twenty days at that rate, and REALLY nobody would notice.

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ROFL

That is all

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Stop

Endings

"was not really the end of the world but the spiritual beginning of the physical end",

If that means he made himself look like an arse to most of the world then he is right.

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Grenade

Jeeezus Wept...

Can someone just shut this guy up once and for all..?! I'm bored now...

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Anonymous Coward

Should be jailed

Harold is a confidence trickster, plain and simple. He is lying to people to extract money. Couldn't someone bring criminal charges against him?

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Anonymous Coward

ConMan

The problem is that it is a confidence trick calling on the name of God, so no one wants to risk the hollier-than-thou argument and accuse him of anything.

If you wrap yourself up in enough religious trappings you can get away with almost anything - even rape.

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Anonymous Coward

The law doesn't notice religion

Plenty of people claiming religious authority end up being found guilty in court. If there's a problem, it's more that the victims are called on to forgive the perpetrator (and do so). For serious crimes, this still doesn't stop the law provided they can obtain enough evidence.

I'm not saying there isn't a time and place for forgiveness, but it shouldn't prevent the law from following its normal course. Harold is clearly continuing to make fraudulent claims and should be stopped. He cannot claim the Bible supports his statements either, because it also expressly warns against people who do this. In other words, this was always serious fraud whether you claim to be a Christian or not.

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Makes perfect sense really

Camping clearly underestimated the length of time it takes to spend his ill-gotten $70 million.

So, is everyone ready for The Great Disappointment 2.0?

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The Great Disappointment 2.0?

It's actually 3.0 this time :)

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Headmaster

2.1?

This is merely a refinement on Disappointment 2.0, so it should be 2.1, no?

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FAIL

Ridicule Arse

well now that's just asking for trouble as more people world wide are aware of this moron and his predictions and so greater lampoonings can be prepared for. He must be a glutton for punishment - unless he dies first (which he's probably banking on).

Predictive FAIL enabled

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Devil

One born every minute...

... and I fail to see how much more of an arse he is than the others I-have-an-invisible-bearded-friend-in-the-sky types (or the "astrologues"). He is however a bit more ridiculous, everyone in the business knows the absolute rule is "never give hard deadlines", that's just distributing sticks and begging to be beaten with'em.

Actually his strategy is quite alright: if he or his followers keep predicting the end of the world for long enough they will probably end up being right once (although I'm not sure about this rapture thing; I feel like it might be a bit hard to breathe from the stratosphere up)

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Paris Hilton

This ones for the doom prophet...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlBIa8z_Mts

Genesis - land of confusion

Highly appropriate methinks.

Paris - equally predictable

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Happy

@nsld

Appropriate in this case but Genesis have something extra special for TV evangelists.

Look up "Jesus he knows me (and he knows I'm right)"

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Happy

@johnsmith19

Another good choice but its the video that sells it for land of confusion, I can see this guy riding a dinosaur to the apocalypse.

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song2

so do the Levellers - "Plastic Jesus"

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Double standards again

If I stand out in public saying that I hear voices and screaming at the top of my voice that they're telling me that the world is going to end I'd get a nice new jacket with the long sleeves that tie up round the back.

But apparently if I claim that the voice in my head is god I would instead get media coverage.

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Or...

Both, most likely.

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What an absolute prick

Hopefully his followers won't be so deluded next time around.

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