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back to article German salesmen rewarded with meticulously organised orgy

Those of you who feel you're not sufficiently well rewarded for all your hard work should consider alerting your boss to the employee incentive techniques of German insurance outfit Ergo. Back in 2007, the company's Hamburg-Mannheimer International subsidiary decided it would be a nice gesture to whisk 100 "particularly …

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Paris Hilton

Do want.

Germans - they now how to party in an Italian Sci-Fi Flick way.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm all for having a good time

But I'd rather have a monetary reward and organise my own entertainment. Besides which I wouldn't want to wet my willy in the same pot as my colleagues and they probably feel the same way. No doubt salesmen are a different bunch.

Also, what did their saleswomen get?

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Coat

I suspect

That in this high testosterone environment, they didnt have saleswomen...

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Happy

Re: What did their saleswomen get?

Shafted, presumably. One way or another!

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Coat

hmm...

wristbands?

ok ok, I'm going.

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Organising your own party?

There's economies of scale you just don't get out of your own bonus. It's the joys of 70s bulk buying organized with German efficiency.

Ok, I'm off on my coach tour of the cornish riviera.

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Coat

Disgusting!

...only one hooker for every five men?

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Cheap bastards

Plus the execs and top-salesmen didn't have to share (as much?), to the lower-downs had even fewer girls between them.

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Alert

Do the maths...

And make up your own joke about 'entry points'...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: entry points

Don't you mean "mount points"?

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Hole new meaning to team work....

No, sorry,

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Anonymous Coward

1:5

1. They'd be using condoms - these aren't laissez-faire British employees.

2. 1-to-5 is a pretty decent ratio realistically, given how long men last. Didn't the wife of Emperor Claudius service well over 100 men?

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Ruddy 'nora

" but stressed "it was not the usual way of rewarding their employees".

Shame, damn fucking shame...

Any vacancies???

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Vacancies?

"The Beeb notes that the orgy's organisers have since left Ergo"

Presumably working elsewhere in Europe under the 'Bunga Bunga Boys' title.

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They made me do it

The organisers may have left.... but how many of the salesmen/executives are still working there?

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Might explain how our salespeople operate?

My job role includes tidying up and placating people after the more egrerious gaffes and blunders of certain rogue (and soon to be dismissed) members of our sales force. I guess a similar system of 'payments in kind' is included in their renumeration package as well?

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Sloppy

There certainly would have been a significant benefit to being one of the first to make use of the ladies skills - who ever was slow enough to have gone last... well.... porridge springs to mind.

*shudder*

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Thank goodness...

... that there's no historical precedent in which successful German men were rewarded with the systematic and well-organised procurement of women (categorised according to who was permitted to make use of them, and marked on their arms) in Eastern Europe in order to provide them with sexual gratification.

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Dead Vulture

At least that incident provided a good band name.

"Joy Division" (Freude Abteil in the original parlance).

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odd

Is this a bit creepy and weird. I've never used a hooker, and maybe i'm a bit of a prude, but this just seems weird.

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Not just you*

I'm a broad-minded chap but I find the whole business of hookers sordid and, well, sad.

* aka me too, I know

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Coat

Never paid for it?

If you've had any 'interaction' whatsoever with 'the fairer sex', then trust me, you have paid for it one way or another. Just maybe not in monetary terms. If your married (like me 25 yrs+ ) then you never ever stop making the frikkin payments.

Women...can't live with em.........I'll get me coat.

Hans...'enough for two Ja?'

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Joke

To quote Chef from South Park....

"That's not why you pay a prostitute,

No, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards."

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I was always told

If it flies floats or fucks, it's cheaper to rent

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Unhappy

Practice ended in 2007.

Which is a bit of shame. If the high finance types had carried on screwing pros, they might not have felt the need to screw the rest of us.

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Ruthless German efficiency......

"had worn colour-coded arm-bands designating their availability, and the women had their arms stamped after each service rendered".

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Coat

arms stamped after each service

Are they on performance-related pay? If the most successful salesmen get hookers, what do the most successful hookers get?

(no medical jokes, please...)

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Pirate

Stamped with numbers

Sounds eerily familiar...

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I shall speak to our HR

that vouchers aren't that great idea after all

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IT Angle

Has to be asked

Where's the IT angle?

I know, I know, it's Friday, this is el reg etc....

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Has to be asked

So why did you ask, then, you divot?

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*Splutter*

Shame on you Ms Bee, I nearly spilt coffee when reading that :-)

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Re: Has to be asked

I wanted to see what Lester could come up with!

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divot

Haven't heard that word used for.... (ran out of fingers and toes) a long time.

Ahh brings back fond memories (Probably because I can't actually remember how horrific it really was :)

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Divot!

I said that word a few weeks back when describing a slight indentation in a mountain (as in, "Just left of the divot up there") and was looked at as if I was talking Martian - so thought it was just a Geordie thing? Glad to see it isn't :)

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Coat

Re: Has to be asked

May I suggest a better term than divot... that would be obliviot. The word is a contraction of the term "oblivious idiot".

I was just leaving as soon as I get my coat... the black duster if you please...

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Unhappy

In England

They just use the customers.

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Troll

@AC. I'm all for having a good time

Wet your willy in the same pot?

I believe the correct English expression is 'porridge' - as in 'I prefer not to stir the porridge'. A sentiment I heartily echo.

(yes, you can learn a lot about English expressions listening to a NY Rock Station, streaming via the net, that has a regular Englishman in the studio)

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Sloppy seconds?

Although I assume not that sloppy given the (assumed) use of our little latex friends.

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Happy

Heh...

...mounted read-only, I guess?

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Anonymous Coward

another German company...

specifically prohibits "non-consensual violence" connected with work in it's Health & Safety policy - doesn't say what the consensual sort might be about.

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Anonymous Coward

Not an unseemly free-for-all?

Because the early arrivals had thrown their towels on all the four-poster beds?

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Paris Hilton

this story

is going in the staff suggestions box

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Coat

Too late

Already done it. All we get is the odd Golf / Cricket /Rugby day out with booze. And to be fair I was happy with that but way to raise the bar Munich Re!

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Bronze badge

So, umm

Does one chase the tramps with many stamps, on the grounds that they might be pretty good even if tired, or the tramps with no stamps on the grounds that, well, your mate won't have just had her?

Choices, choices....

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Pint

this is like that logic puzzle about

the town with two barbers: which do you choose: the one with the good haircut or the one with the bad haircut? On second thoughts it's not that similar.

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Go

I notice they have an opening

Sending off my CV right now

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Anonymous Coward

Budapest?

Was that an application for a German job, or one in Budapest?

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Anonymous Coward

The permies kept that quiet

Any time I've heard them talking about their "bens and bonus" I've felt nothing but pity. Might make some discrete enquiries.

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WTF?

News?

I must have missed this in the original account, but why is this news now? OK, so some dodgy German company had a dodgy bonus scheme. But what's happening about it? Its 3-4 years ago!!

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