Osama bin Laden's compound may not have had phone or internet service, but it did have porn. Lots of it. According to Reuters and ABC News, the massive smut stash was seized by the US commandos who stormed his Abbottabad, Pakistan, hideout and shot him in the face almost two weeks ago. It was found in a wooden box in bin Laden's …
The US has made claims of porn caches in every enemy stronghold it's ever "liberated" for decades. Is it true this time? Who knows, but frankly as long as the American terrorists are killing the Islamist terrorists and vice versa it's all good. Unfortunately, they aren't just killing each other, so it's not good.
Couldn't they just go and shoot each other on some island somewhere?
I like the last idea....
Perhaps a big slab of desert, probably the middle-east as it's easy to get to for all the usual players.
You could sell TV rights, franchising opportunities would be impressive and you can apply certain rules, all while keeping do-gooders and sandal wearing hippies happy by avoiding the mass death/destruction thing.
As somebody from Northern Ireland, I see a flaw in your plan.
There is an easier explanation
"The US has made claims of porn caches in every enemy stronghold it's ever "liberated" for decades"
Logic thus dictates that they bring it themselves - after all, they are the only common factor between all those totally separate events. Now I'm not really into that industry (which is a pun in itself, sorry), but AFAIK there is a lot of porn made in the US which makes my argument stand up with the power of a dozen Viagras..
In short, for an attempt at psyops that claim is really quite pathetic..
We just need to scatter porn stashes all over the island. That'll draw them in.
We built an empire looking for drugs and spicy foods, the Americans are obviously just short on porn.
About a couple hundred years ago. Then when visited a couple of years ago, and they all shook my hand and said "hey mate, how you doin? Take a beer from the esky and there's a steak on the barbie for ya"
"Logic thus dictates that they bring it themselves"
Or, more likely, porn is ubiquitous :-) But yes, regardless of who it belongs to, the release of the info is all just propaganda.
Finally, the US found something they were looking for
Weapons of Masturbation.
You say that whatever's common to all operations must have been brought by the American?
Hm: All operations have featured (presumed) enemies, so the Americans must have brought them? Doesn't really ring true. Inverting the statement -- anything that's used only in some operations isn't brought -- is equally weak.
Nope, no part of the statement seems robust. It's of the "where's smoke there's fire" variety, and after two smoke-filled hours at an attempted BBQ this weekend I can guarantee you that there may be no charcoal-heating fire at all regardless of smoke quantity.
Finding porn has been predicted
given the religious views of his followers this is probably one of the most damaging things to al Qaeda morale that they could find, guaranteed to turn the greatest number of his followers away from the cause.
This is why I take this announcement with a huge shovel full of salt. I am not saying that it was definitely not there but that if it wasn't then its existance is something that the USA analysts would/should invent to support their cause.
Most believable part of the story
On the contrary, I totally buy into the porn stash.
OBL and his ilk are hypocrites above all else, I am sure the likes of him and his sympathisers watch plenty of porn whilst bemoaning "slags". Justifies their hatred of the West just as much as videos of Abu Ghraib -- and they can wank off whilst they hate it, and dream of their virgins in heaven.
well i didn't bother reading past the three lines
"According to Reuters and ABC News"
Nothing to do with religion
Muhammed Atta (the 9/11 pilot) was motivated by a US/Israeli bombing mission that killed civilians in Lebanon. The sooner we let go of the idea that we are being attacked for irrational religious reasons, and realize it's because we bomb and occupy middle eastern countries and kill countless of their civilians, the sooner we can resolve the "war on terrorism."
Pics or it did not happen
Well, that is one thing which is not classified and if they really found it they should put it on the web for all to have a look.
No, I am not joking here. Everyone will consider it a setup and a slur unless it is really for all to see: catalogued, with pictures of drives on which it was found and with matching fingerprint evidence. If it was on Windows from XP onwards there is also at least some last-accessed info as well as the usual creation and owner info on the filesystem. If it was on DVD - dvd is perfect fingerprint retaining material. Basically - all forensic evidence on the subject out in the open.
This will not convince the conspiracy theorists, but will give at least some level of credibility to the claims. Until then they are pretty much on same level as the claims that the QWEST CEO did insider trading and with the same purpose.
True or false, does not matter
His followers will scream at the top of their lungs that it's all a filthy lie anyway, so no difference either way...
RE: Nothing to do with religion
"Muhammed Atta (the 9/11 pilot) was motivated by a US/Israeli bombing mission that killed civilians in Lebanon....." Atta had pronounced anti-American feelings long before he made his Islamic "will" on 11th April 1996 in an Hamburg mosque. He was already noted to be following extreme Sunni practices, have zero ability to interact with anyone not in his tiny band of fellow Islamists, and was convinced his own inability to progress his career was the fault of his family "not being politically connected" back in Cairo. The oft quoted "US/Israelli bombing mission" (the Israeli attack on Lebanon was in response to prolonged Hezbollah artillery strikes, all aimed at Israeli civillians) was just a tiny fraction of the diatribe in Atta's "will", and by that point he was already in contact with known AQ sypathisers and activists. To pretend that this was the sole reason for Atta falling in with AQ is to be blind to the facts of both his background, upbringing and socio-religeous views.
There is a flaw in your argument, this conflict has been going on for a very very long time, much much longer than the Issues in Ireland, yes its taken on a different reasoning but the roots are the same. When you have two polarised views its unlikely there can ever be wholescale peace. Even Ireland today has issues.
There is no easy way out, infact i doubt there is a way out at all unless you hurt one group of people or another which is essentially what it comes down too.
person A says, this is mine
Person B says, no its mine
everyone else says, i agree with x
Its being going on for too long to draw blame to one group of another and neither are willing to compramise, and more importantly even if they did agree as leaders, not all the followers will agree, and again, you end up with polarised views.
No, of course
its only a tiny band of Islamists who hate the US & UK for their foreign policy isn't it?
If not him then someone else on another day.
Not longer than Ireland
"There is a flaw in your argument, this conflict has been going on for a very very long time, much much longer than the Issues in Ireland"
Ireland's troubles go back to the Bronze Age, long before Islam or Christianity were invented or America discovered.
The Bronze Age?
Well if we go back far enough why don’t we blame the dinosaurs!
so tell me, the protestant / catholic divide in Ireland, mostly down to the forced occupation of Ireland by ourselves and the mass land clearings we imposed, the subsequent divide of the country in to two parts all largely as a result of the fears of a mainland invasion of the island by catholic supporting nations has nothing to do with the issues in Ireland. It would be interesting to see what people think over there, tribal conflicts before that time may have been troublesome but until they hit nation state levels it seems a bit far-fetched to say the issues in Ireland are as a result of Bronze Age men.
Longer than Ireland
the Middle East's troubles go back further than the Bronze age, they are internecine struggles between clans who are basically cousins of varying distance, documented as far back as Cain vs Abel, although prevalent for many centuries before even oral histories.
The current iteration dates back to the Romans, who while sacking the Holy Land in the First century AD caused the Jewish diaspora, so that the remnants who stayed in the Holy Land were converted, in due course, at swordpoint to Islam, then provided the reception committee for the knights of the Holy Cross, the rest as they say is history :-)
Anyone wanting to understand the "Irish Problem" should start with The Cattle Raid of Cu Chulainn....
above all else ?
You mean their hypocrisy is the thing that bothers you most ?
It's their murdering scumbaggery that really gets my goat. I can almost live with the hypocrisy in that context.
I guess kudos go out to all those commentards who predicted this news/propaganda/other already.
Not that it was every unlikely that something like this would be found/"found"...
I can handle them knocking off the prick, but to out his pron stash...
That's just wrong!
Spoils of war.
Kill a man, take his pron stash.
On whether they make the stash public so we have proof.
/me prepares a hard disk.
some black PR/spin, and even if it is true, that's how it would probably be viewed in his circles.
So was it...
Soft porn - women with their eyes visible
Hard porn- women with their faces visible
Extreme porn - women with their whole heads uncovered
Re: So was it...
Who said women were in it. For all we know, he loved camel toe, but on an actual camel. Sheep in stockings. Maybe even a shaved kitty.
I am going to have nightmares now :)
Re: So was it
If it was goats then we need to know which end of the goat too ...
I don't find this too surprising - it would have been odder if they hadn't found anything.
Osama bin Flathead bin Two-goats-a-week bin Laden
From the BBC, 'Shopkeeper Mohammed Rashid told BBC Urdu's Aijaz Mahar that two goats were delivered every week'. Searching 'osama medicine cabinet' turns up video of Avena Wild Oats, supposedly an aphrodisiac and Vaseline petroleum jelly. He should have got out more.
Now we know who still pays for porn!
How pathetic is the US government?
No idea if there was porn or not, but either way -- who cares? I'm sure that even General Bush and St Obama have some porn somewhere.
This wouldn't b a story apart from it highlighting that "Reuters and ABC News" are some kind of religion rather than news companies.
RE: How pathetic is the US government?
It may or may not be fabrication, but it's very relevant because it can speak to the hypocrisy of OBL/AQ. Given that "immodesty" is a big fat no-no in Muslim circles (hence the head to toe garb many ladies get to wear) the leader of a group of fundamentalists (potentially) having a huge pr0n stash is big news, if not for us (per se) then certainly as a big demoraliser for the followers.
Now that's a horrible picture.
George or Barack 'vigorously' reading 'secret material'.
I may need counselling.
It's called "psyops"
The counterpoint of showing clueless and ignorant Obama & Clinton "in control" and "on top of it".
The daily mail's going to have a field day with this
'Watching porn turns YOUR children into terrorists!'
How filthy was this porn? Midgets, donkeys, inanimate objects? We need detail El Reg!
Because why do you need porn when you've got a wooden box?
Pictures (*and* playmobil) or it didn't happen. We weren't all born yesterday. On the other hand if we were, please worship our comprehension and leet typing skillz.
Duke of Post
That is the problem with being hunted by the US, and going without internet... You actually have to keep the stuff at your place, instead of googling for it like everybody else!
Perhaps it should be posted on the net.
Perhaps it should be post then then we can judge for ourselves.
"Other video recovered by Navy Seals showed bin Laden sitting on a floor watching himself on TV"
Was he later shown in another video watching himself watching himself on TV? And so on.
"video ... showed bin Laden sitting on a floor watching himself on TV" The worst sort of masturbation...
I find it very hard to accept anything the USAians say since they ensured the man couldn't defend himself. This could be true, equally it could be part of a campaign to discredit him. With a very USAian bent of course, "He killed hundreds of people but never mind that - he watched porn!"
"he killed hundreds of people, but never mind that-he watched porn"
Except of course we don't know that he killed anyone.
We might suspect it but if it had come to trial which atrocity would he have been accused of?
I think he probably was a bad man, but that's no excuse to kill him without a trial.
That just leaves the porn accusation. Well obviously he deserves death then!
and cold war is over...
every week, some story about China or Laden and we are supposed to believe cold war ended when USSR went bankrupt.
2011 already, no flying cars, just 5th class propaganda.
The old fucknut had 3 wives living with him...
Where did he find the time to watch porn?
- JLaw, Kate Upton exposed in celeb nude pics hack
- Google flushes out users of old browsers by serving up CLUNKY, AGED version of search
- GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait