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back to article Shuttle mission: SPAWNING of the SPACE KRAKEN

In a sinister development it has emerged that when Shuttle Endeavour lifts off for her final flight she will be carrying not only her crew and the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer to the International Space Station but a contingent of spacegoing squid. It all starts out innocently enough. "The Squid in Space experiment will enable …

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Boffin

An obvious consequence....

will be giant squids with frikin' lasers.

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Alien

hyperbloboloid

Nurse, I think his medication's wearing off!

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Yay Friday!

Oh... wait!

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Columbia

Was clearly no accident. It was simply the only remaining solution.

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Alien

Don't worry, Bernard Quatermass...

... will undoubtedly be on-call to deal with any contingencies.

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Alien

Say hi to Sheena 5

(yep I know it's an obscure reference)

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Just for completeness

http://www.vondanmcintyre.com/squids/Baxter-Sheena5.html

I for one.... etc.. etc...

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Wow... "Sheena 5"?

Now THAT's a phrase I haven't heard/read in a while...

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MMmmmmmmm...

Calamari!

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Boffin

Rings

So, they've been lying all along.

Those rings around Saturn are acutally remains of a pizza order.

It's what happens when someone from another dimension uses a black hole as waste disposal.

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If I hear the words..

resonance cascade.....

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Where...

is my crowbar?

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Silver badge

Clearly this explains the origins of

Kang and Kodos - Rigel 7, my butt!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kang_and_Kodos

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Sheena 5

Errr - this could get bad - they'll either come back and demand the oceans. Or maybe they'll whizz off at almost light speed to escape the end of the universe. Depends if they read the short story or the big book.

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Anonymous Coward

Somewhere, in a distant fold of time

Cthulhu awakens from his slumber, ready to receive his acolytes and bring forth his reign of terror

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Welcome

Obligatory

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

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It will turn into

A Despair Squid!

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Cosmic calamari Batman!

We're sending Cthulu back home.

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Anonymous Coward

Explode?

I'm not sure Milton's description of Columbia exploding paints an accurate picture.

It would be more accurate of them to say it "broke apart" (after hot gases penetrated the interior of the wing, destroying the support structure).

Anyway, not your fault El Reg, and appreciate you were only quoting.

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Joke

Thats what they want you to think...

See title...

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Welcome

I, for one, welcome...

Well, somebody had to say it.

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Alien

I for one...

...welcome our new Space Encephalopod Overlords

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Welcome

Delicious

Octopus, capers, throw in a bit of lime juice & olive oil. Yum.

I, for one, welcome the chance to some tasty etc..

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Go

Fear not!

Now that the shuttles are being retired, we need a new method of projecting U.S. power into orbit. The solution? An army of space squid, programmed to do the bidding of their human masters. Duties include hurling rogue state satellites at incoming comets and asteroids.

Each squid is fitted with a foolproof electronic control module, with software by Microsoft and security by Sony and cleverly mounted on the most exposed part of the squid where the chances of the module getting struck by orbital debris is almost negligible!

With our cephalopod space guardians in place, mankind can look forward to a future free of being eaten alive by anything coming from space! So tuck into that plate of calamari, people! Our guardians are probably never going to reach self-awareness and forced isolation in space will surely render any that do docile, forgiving and well-socialized!!

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Alien

Sigourney Weaver

As long as Sigourney Weaver is there, half-naked, to help the crew, all is good. I would buy the DVD of this new NASA reality show.

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Pint

I for one...

Welcome Lewis' ongoing mission to expand and embigginate our language.

"we're talking here, basically, about some kind of glowing stealth assassin hyperbloboloid shapeshifter creature even before the hideous warpening and embulgenation effects of space come into play"

At least one Pint for that...

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Happy

Don't worry the samples will safety destroyed.

Should be delicious.

Still waiting to see someone take some birds eggs into orbit and see if they can learn to fly in the ISS.

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@ Say hi to Sheena 5

Obscure? Not at all. I was about to post the very same thing myself!

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Coat

Lewis Page's late entry to the Sci-Fi poll

Is one of them called Paul?

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Jobs Halo

You are really not into science fiction are you?

Of course the the octopus escapes and invades the body of first one astronaut, then all astronauts are melded together. Then when Endeavour returns there is only one being on board having common features.

Pure unadulterated Quatermass.

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Joke

According to Tom Holt's book "Blond Bomshell"

Squid can be used for supercomputers.

Maybe that's their porpoise in this case?

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WTF?

Huh?

"What makes this squid unique is its light organ, which glows at night and hides its shadow from prey lurking underneath. "

Does that make sense??

Shadows at night??

Lighting up at night makes you harder to see??

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Lewis-lexicography

"colossal Kraken-style tentacular astrobomination"

I think we need need a published Lewis Glossary!

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