Cross-dresser kills goat while high on bath salts
A 19-year-old American man has blamed the narcotic effects of bath salts* for sparking an episode that resulted in the death of a pygmy goat. Mark L Thompson of Alum Creek, West Virginia, was arrested on Monday after police had been called by the owner of a pygmy goat, a neighbour of Thompson's, who had complained that the 19- …
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Oh well
Without wishing to skirt around the issue, I must say stories like this really get my goat.
"Thompson took to his heels"
"Thompson took to his heels"
Absolutely top notch writing. This is why we love the Reg!
Golly..
.. you don't beat around the bush.
Yeah, yeah, the flasher Mac please..
Hmmm
Surely a 'caprine killer' would be a killer who was in some way goat-like (and possibly was, in fact, a goat)? It seems that you have missed the opportunity to use the word 'capricide'.
Admit it
You were just waiting to write that headline, weren't you?
Nothing New
I had a similar experience on a 750ml bottle of Radox once
@Nightfox
# Nothing New → #
#
# I had a similar experience on a 750ml bottle of Radox once
Ah, but I bet you made a clean getaway...
Yeah but
He was caught when witnesses saw man with suspected rabies fleeing through the town centre
Bath salts
Presumably he was looking to make a clean getaway after the murder
Bath salts eh?
I once tried sucking back a tube of anti-age wrinkling cream but that didn't do anything... apart from perhaps giving my stomach and digestive tracts the appearance of much younger organs.
Thats silly and dangerous...
What were you planning to do with the yards of tummy-pipes you'd have had left over if the unguent in question had done the biz and smoothed out all the folds and kinks?
Termination problem
I didn't think anyone that young would be using parallel SCSI, though.
Hmmm
I only request that there NOT be any Playmobil reenactments of this story...
TYPICAL?!
One commenter on the story in the Charleston Gazette describes the probability that he had sex with the goat as "Sick but typical"....
Strange
That's mad! I've experienced the drug, and it's essentially just speed, i.e. means you can't go to sleep for about 12 hours. Can't imagine getting in this situation from a bit of this, he was blatently on other things. Obviously though, you would tell the police you were on a legal drug.
Speed psychosis
which you're likely to have after 3 days, is indistinguishable from schizophrenia. If you're psychotic, anything goes, up to & including goat rape & murder. Especially if you're unaware of the possibility - after all its "just speed" - & so is crystal meth.
This isn't a criticism of taking loads of drugs though - there's nowt wrong with that
psychosis ... and worse
@"is indistinguishable from schizophrenia. If you're psychotic, anything goes, up to & including goat rape & murder."
I totally agree but there's also some very strong warning signs of at least a Borderline behaviour combined with his drug induced psychosis. For example, he is a high on bath salts cross-dressing rape & murdering necrophiliac goat shagger! ... Wow that's some very clear signs of a Borderline Personality Disordered kind of behaviour at the very least!
Plus imagine being the owner of that poor goat, knowing how horrifically your pet has died. That's not good at all. As any pet owner would understand, they are going to have a difficult time getting over that. The point is this guy never gave the owner a thought. This is strong signs of no empathy for the owner what so ever, even to kill their pet and so horrifically.
This goat rape & murderer as you appropriately call him and drug induced psychosis or not, that's some seriously scary behaviour when you look closely at what he has done. The guy needs serious help before he tries that on a human. Serial killers often practice on animals first and they often combine aspects of Borderline behaviour with their extreme lack of empathy for anyone else. Its just as well they caught him now.
We know a song about that, don't we children?
I slaughter goats. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
This is why I visit The Register every day...
Headlines like that just cannot be found anywhere else :)
And..
? or is it a tech/drugs thing.
All life is here. Very sad about the goat. The Kid needs help!
bath salts
bath salts is the same kind of euphemism as plant food was here and not a "brand" or even a compound, in the USA's case to get around the human consumption aspect of their Analogue act.
meanwhile over here MDPV is a class B substance.
I'll get my goat
Suprised only one person spotted the IT angle...
Goats Killed By Fake POT..
...one.
Goats killed by real pot...
Zero.
In the first three months of 2011 there were over 2000 emergency room visits by users of this crap.
Legalize, Tax, Educate.
Re: TYPICAL?!
AC: One commenter on the story in the Charleston Gazette describes the probability that he had sex with the goat as "Sick but typical"....
I take it you've never been to West Virginia before?
Forced Puns
Just what kind of bath salt?
'Rock' salt, 'Mineral' salt, 'Dead' sea salt, Salt 'scrub', Salt 'Solution'
...and what kind of goat?
'Orange coloured goat', 'Sacrificial' goat. 'Nanny' goat
Today it was announced that an angry man dressed in stockings believed he had the solution when thinking on the hoof he sacrificed his nanny while playing with his minerals in order to get his rocks off with a scrubber.
An eye witness was heard to say something Orangey may have been involved although it was unconfirmed whether the accused is a Tory MP
Paris (always) - because she knows what salty solutions taste like
Alum Creek?
No wonder he had easy access to plenty of bath salts.
Or maybe he just spent too much time swimming in the creek.
With recent events and all...
Has it been considered that he may have been reenacting Osama Bin Laden's killing in a disguise more suited to an undercover agent?
Cheers El Reg
for teaching me some of the more obscure animal adjectives. I feel they're bound to come in handy in a pub quiz one day.
A last night out
Undoubtedly he was just looking to make some kid gloves to match the outfit he had so carefully prepared for his upcoming stay in the slammer.
Ok, let's get this over and done with...
...he was feeling a little horny...
...thinking of his nanny...
...it started as a little kidding around...
...unfortunately he got a little cross, dressing...
...when cornered he hoofed it...
I'm appearing here all week!!
For one brief, happy moment ...
... when I first read this this morning, I thought it was Friday.
(I thought I posted this 14 or 15 hours ago; either my not-quite rebooted "first cuppa" brain made a mistake, or it got lost in the aether ... )
Remember a demotivational poster about this captioned...
"No matter how much you party, you will never be as cool as this guy"!!!!
with this picture , i believe ...
http://s3.amazonaws.com/hhh-silos/hashed_silo_content/silo_content/669/resized/unxplained-photo-1225258439-56582.jpg.
All it needs now is a suitable soundtrack..... any suggestions??
My suggestion is prodigy's firestarter... or something from Wumpscut.
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