back to article Got a buck to send M Night Shyamalan to film school?

Those of you unfortunate enough to have spent money seeing The Last Airbender will doubtless be only too willing to blow one more dollar to send M Night Shyamalan back to film school. That's the aim of the splendidly-named M Night School campaign, which declares: "Certainly, there must be 150,000 of us film lovers out there who …

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No Surprise

Felt this way about him when I saw "The village", have avoided anything he's made since

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: No Surprise

I recommend The Happening - genuinely hilariously bad (after the quite chilling start which I could take halfway seriously). I laughed and laughed.

The thing is that Shyamalan isn't technically a bad filmmaker at all - he just has terrible scripts, can't get good performances out of actors, and thinks he is a wondrous genius and so injects every scene with essence of PROFOUNDANDICONIC until the poor things collapse in on themselves.

Sadly I doubt this campaign will humble him any, but sooner or later people will stop giving him money to make films.

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"sooner or later people will stop giving him money to make films."

Unfortunately, highly unlikely while he brings in the millions... even Happening and Airbender made big buckets of cash

(See http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2010/07/if_airbender_is_the_years_wors.html and more)

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FAIL

Ahh, the happening...

I almost walked out when Marky Mark, ambitiously cast as a science teacher, asks his class why the bees are disappearing. The students have a few stabs before Marky states "there's some things we'll just never know". EH? WTF! you're the science teacher FFS.

Sadly the wife insisted we stayed till the end.

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Hmm

"he just has terrible scripts" - so he's a bad writer.

"can't get good performances out of actors" - so he's a bad director.

"thinks he is a wondrous genius (etc)" - so he's a pompous ass.

But apart from that, he's a good filmmaker?

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Happy

@Shyamalan isn't technically a bad filmmaker

' he just has terrible scripts, can't get good performances out of actors, and thinks he is a wondrous genius and so injects every scene with essence of PROFOUNDANDICONIC until the poor things collapse in on themselves'

I'm no expert, but technically, that sounds like bad filmmaking to me.

If you want a good night at the flix, the boys from brazil is the one for me

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The Crappening

I watched that a while ago. Totally rubbish, a big build up to the ending which was lame as hell. I'm sure he ripped off the ending from Shaun of the Dead, Three Months later indeed?

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Anonymous Coward

So who might that someone else be?

Uwe Boll, maybe?

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Michael Bay

Hmmmm, I'd be more inclined to send Michael Bay. See with Shyamalan, it's obvious you're going to be dissapointed but at least it's his own creation, he's destroying his own work. Michael on the other hand gets good films but destroys them. God how I wanted to stand on his neck having watched Transformers 2. The problem is I knew it would be pants but felled compelled to watch it because there's cars that turn into robots man, ROBOTS!!!

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@Graham

Only if you send them both on the same train. The one from Source Code should do.

There are plenty of other directors that could tag along too... maybe Lucas and Cameron to name just two?

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Cameron, PLEASE!

A big YES to Cameron especially. "Titanic" is still safely on my anti-bucket list, and Avatar would have been so bad it was funny if it hadn't been so excruciatingly long. I'm ALMOST tempted to watch Airbender to see if it's bad as that nasty Navi nightmare.

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@JasonHall

Surely you jest? Duncan Jones directed Moon, and Source code Was brilliant (granted, it should have ended at the freeze frame) but still, he does not need to go back to school.

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Never!

I paid to see Sixth Sense which was a decent film though the "twist" was 100% obvious to me from the opening scene. In fact I spent the film thinking "well they are desperately trying to convince me he's not dead..."

I paid to see Unbreakable which was average at best.

I paid to see Signs which was just terrible.

I paid to see The Village which was again obvious but had some interesting moments.

The trend has been absolutely going downhill from the start and thankfully I've completely avoided his later films because the ads alone for those were near unwatchable.

No, nobody will get another penny out of me in his name!!!

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Never!

I think Unbreakable is better than The Sixth Sense. That is what I think.

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Unbreakable

I thought that until I tried to watch it a second time.

Although, watching Sixth Sense a second time showed just how weak the pretending-he's-not-dead thing was.

Signs was just dreadful.

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Alien

watching Sixth Sense a second time

> watching Sixth Sense a second time showed just how weak the pretending-he's-not-dead thing was ..

The scenes still work, the bits between Willis and 'Cole' and his mother ..

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I think I must be the only person left alive...

...who's completely willing to admit to being gobsmacked at the end of "The Sixth Sense", and doesn't go around blathering about how OMG THE TWIST WAS SOOOO OBVIOUS HOW COULD ANYONE HAVE BEEN SURPRISED.

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title

It only works because of the "clever" cuts between scenes.

From the top of my head, the one that stuck out was every time he goes to the basement door it cuts to him being in the basement until the very last attempt when he realises he's dead.

/shrugs

Maybe it's just hindsight, but the film seemed far less clever the second time around. I think that's probably true with all MNS's "twists", though.

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At last, I have found my kindred spirits

Other people that agree with me that The Sixth Sense was a dire film. I remember when the wretched thing came out in the cinema and everyone was saying "Oooo, what a clever plot twist". Now, umpteen dire films later, I can cheerfully point my finger and say that you only have yourselves to blame for encouraging him.

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FAIL

Crop circles one?

Was 'Signs' the crop circle one?. On Sky movies last week. Hilariously bad, they even had kids in tinfoil helmets!!!

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FAIL

Dunno about the last one but...

.. the plot "twist" was extremely obvious if you pay any attention to what is going on. I know people have been conditioned by Hollywood schlock to sit and watch passively and wait to be spoon fed, but I do wonder how anyone could miss the fact that the only character who reacts to him at all is the "I see dead people" kid? It was an interesting idea tragically overplayed.

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I thik I'm the only person who found The Last Airbender fun to watch.

It sure beat the heck out of the other film named Avatar.

Sixth Sense was OK, and Unbreakable was at least novel and quite fun. The Village was just dull and obvious and The Happening is a potential candidate for worst film ever "OMG IT'S THE TREES!!! THE TREES!!!!!" pretty much sums up that story.

If anyone needs to go to film school I think it's Ridley Scott -- so that he can learn that cutting every half second during an action scene does not make it "fast-paced" it makes it impossible to watch and shit. Gladiator was ruined by the over use of quick cuts and stupid up-close camera angles which made the film claustrophobic and choppy.

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Laughing our arses off...

My wife and I got the Last Airbender on Bluray to make up the numbers on a blockbuster rental deal so I didn't mind too much that it was awful. But we did laugh our arses off at various points throughout the film from the imortal "but then we discovered he was a bender" line to the random jump cuts and disjointed dialogue to the WTF just happen and why moments.

Not actually enjoyable as a film but provides plenty of entertainment spotting all the ways it is bad in the same way Doomsday 2012 did (It's probably not the film you think it is, read the reviews http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132130/ )

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WTF?

To be fair...

To be fair, if you've ever seen the cartoon series it's very clear that the film follows the cartoon, but unlike LOTR that chopped a few bits that you don't really miss unless you've read the books, TLAB chops vast amounts of essential plot out leaving the viewer wondering wtf?

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WTF?

Ridley Scott?

His films as of late have been shite - but seriously, we're talking about the director of both Alien and Blade Runner. He had what it takes, I guess something just happened to him.

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RE: Ridley Scott?

I think Ridley Scott can only direct in the dark. Alien and Blade Runner were very atmospheric and the close-ups and cutting made them claustrophobic but the situation allowed for it. When you're filming an epic gladiatorial battle in a colosseum you surely want to create a feeling of awe and epic size, not a sense that they're fighting in a phone box against lions emerging from the ground in what has to be the worst piece of CGI since 100 Million BC.

I think he's a one-trick pony -- though a bloody good one-trick pony.

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Happy

You're forgetting

Ridley Scott also did the iconic Apple Mac - Big Brother launch ad which Apple hater or not was a very good ad for the time, oh and by the way there's the IT angle !

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YMMV

but I found the filming of gladator made it feel more personal like you where there fighting in the ring with them so I liked it

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Happy

@Alien and Blade Runner

= two trick pony.

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Thumb Up

I liked Gladiator, a lot.

no more to add.

3 tricks pony?

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I'd love to be as incompetent as Shyamalan

I mean, whatever your argument about the artistic merits, he'll never have to work another day in his life if he doesn't want to. That's certainly got an appeal all its own.

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he'll never have to work another day in his life

Let's hope so eh!

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Grenade

If he declines...

Couldn't the fund be used to hire a hitman instead?

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Unhappy

hitman

We could, but given our luck, there will be a twist in the plotline and the hitman will turn out to be from the future even though there was not indication of that at all when we hired him and even more shocking the hitman finds out he is direct descendent of Shyamalan and thus can not kill him without killing himself.

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DJV
Joke

direct descendent?

No no no. That's not a problem - see the Futurama episode "Roswell That Ends Well" for an explanation (of sorts).

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Which is a perfectly suitable result...

...considering that grandfather plots are approximately the third most hackneyed cliche in all of science fiction.

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Anonymous Coward

Your idea

I would like to buy the film rights.

Regards,

MNS

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Anonymous Coward

Your idea

I would like to steal it, then sue you for copyright infringement before turning it into a dire film

Regards,

MNS

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@Aaron Em

>...the third most hackneyed cliche in all of science fiction.

OK, I have to ask: what are the first two?

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Coat

Problem

"considering that grandfather plots are approximately the third most hackneyed cliche in all of science fiction."

And the most misconstrued considering the alternate timeline theory to solve the grandfather paradox. Granted, time travel isn't called such by physicists, but "closed time-like loops"

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Boffin

Time travel (to the past) is BS.

The fact that serious scientist have to come with the alternative universes theory to reconcile paradoxes shows it by it self.

Think of it, Even if alternative universes were real, and the time travel was possible from the POV of the people on the original time line nothing had happened, the "time traveler" just disintegrated out of existence. It is a unfalsifiable hypothesis and therefore an invalid theory.

Plus is the lousiest plot devise/deus ex machina ever thought about.

GOD I HATE STAR TREK!!!!

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Maybe

Just maybe Hollywood will start to get the hint that we, the customers, aren't impressed by their favourite sons.

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Silver badge
Unhappy

Sadly, no.

Just maybe we, the customers, will start to get the hint that Hollywood doesn't give a rancid fart what we think of their favorite sons so long as enough of us keep coughing up the cash.

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Is it just me...

...or does anyone else chuckle when the hear "The Last Air*bender*".

Maybe I am just puerile and spend too much time on b3ta.

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Alien

The Sixth Sense

Sixth Sense was good, it's surprising that the same writer/director could subsequently produce such rubbish, maybe somebody ghosted it for him :)

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The Wachowskis

I think it similar to The Matrix. It was an accident that just happened to work but can't be recreated in subsequent films no matter how hard you try.

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Grenade

Don't get me started on The Matrix

apart from Keanu Reeves (who *can* act - My Own Private Idaho), was it just me that thought the whole thing came across as mish-mash of unfinished Philip K Dick plots ?

Great special effects yes. But please don't tell me it blew your mind.

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@AC

What are you talking about? Philip K Dick plots are themselves a mish-mash of unfinished Philip K Dick plots.

Oh, and by the way, The Matrix was great. Too bad they didn't make any sequels.

-dZ.

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Unhappy

The Matrix

was quite good, but would have been even better if Hollywood Inc. hadn't decided to dumb down several parts of the origional premise proposed by the W-bros.

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