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back to article Toyota and Microsoft ink e-car deal in a cloud of telematics

Toyota and Microsoft have announced a $12m joint investment on including Microsoft's Azure cloud platform in upcoming Toyota vehicles for better telematics. The two companies have been working together since 1998 on in-car mapping, entertainment and information services for cars. Ideas include switching on heating while the car …

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Bronze badge
Pint

"Sorry . .

.. your car has been locked by another user (Username = you). Choose one of the following options :-

1. Wait for the other user to release the lock (you will be notified)

2. Open the car "read only" so you can check the charge level

3. Cancel opening the car and go and have a lie down instead

4. Call a taxi as this baby is going nowhere"

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An update is available for your car

Your car will shut down in 30 seconds to complete updating which may take up to an hour. When it restarts you will be asked for your unique Microsoft Serial Number which can be found on the underside of the vehicle's chassis.

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Stop

Hmmm.....

Does anyone else fancy their car being suddenly taken over by a load of Chinese or Russian hackers while they are doing 70mph (cough) down the M1 ?

I'm sure the dealer will be quite happy to sell you a copy of Norton's AV as an eye watering extra but now your car will only manage to crawl to 35mph with blue rinses happily zipping past you.

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Thumb Up

Toy Yoda = win :D

Answering questions after the announcement, (((Toyoda))) said combining telematics with car management systems with Microsoft's cloud architecture would properly link vehicles to IT functions.

(((Toyoda))) expects vehicles on sale by 2012 to include Azure-based Smart Center technology. By 2015 the joint venture wants to have global deals with mobile firms to provide Toyota customers with comms services through their cars.

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Coat

Sweet

13 years to develop a timer switch function, wow impressive!

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FAIL

Blue Screen

The Blue Screen of Death would be quite literally fatal shoud you be driving one of these on the motorway and it failed (which it will). Foolproof I hear - yes, don't be a fool and buy one.

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Bronze badge

BSOD in a Tunnel

To the tune of "Message in a Bottle"...

I'll send an SOS to the world

I'll send an SOS to the world

I hope that someone gets my

I hope that someone gets my

I hope that someone gets my

BSOD in a Tunnel

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Alert

Wow

so all those 'if Microsoft made cars...' jokes from the 90's will finally be coming true then!! :-)

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Anonymous Coward

First BSOD-induced crash has already happened

Now, however, you also have to hope not just the on-board computer not BSingOD, but also that teh intarwebz don't catch acute nonconnectivitis, or that the cloud didn't accidentally discolour, or that your data plan for your car didn't run out, or that.... Ah sod it.

Most of the functions of the car are most useful while inside the car. The rest is just interference by unwelcome busybodies. If I had a car (which I don't) I might be arsed to add a small-ish box to interface with the on-board electronics and have it occasionally check for either the home wlan or a free one, to deliver the weekly status report over encrypted mail, or something to that tune. And no, it wouldn't run any redmondware at all, ever. All the rest is doodads and guffins that nobody actually needs. In fact, most people don't need more than a calendar entry when to deliver the car to the service station for a regular check-up.

So I'm inclined to think of this as yet another "solution" desperately looking for a problem to involve that micros~1-branded clouy thing in, all for grate marketeering. Anybody disagree, please do explain.

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No accelerlation

Putting Microsoft software on a Toyota should at least prevent any risk of uncontrolled acceleration

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Alien

Introducing the blue windscreen of death?

> Putting Microsoft software on a Toyota should at least prevent any risk of , John Miles 1

Lets hope they don't use it to control the doors and Windows ..

http://forum.beyond3d.com/archive/index.php/t-4069.html

http://aardvark.co.nz/daily/2003/n051301.shtml

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FAIL

Oh well...

I've been a Toyota fan ever since I was a Toyota line mechanic back in the 1970's and 80's. We own two now. I guess my next new car is going to be something else. Just what I need, a BSOD when I am trying to navigate the backend of nowhere...

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Sucky GPS

My 2007 Prius has the worst GPS I have ever seen, and it added $2500 to the sticker price. It wouldn't take any arm twisting to convince me Microsoft or a Microsoft-trained flunky designed it.

The basics are fine, it receives satellite signals. But for some reason it will not give time of day, elevation, or moving speed. One might think to use the GPS to sync to the clock on the car's dash not 2' away, but it doesn't.

It doesn't keep a track long that one might backtrack to return the way one came.

Not having its own clock function for some reason its ETA's are always one hour longer than actual. Whats the point in displaying an ETA if you won't display your notion of the current time?

If Apple were to get into automotive electronics then I'd be interested. But as for GPS I saw Nissan offering factory installed Garmin mounts in some models. That's smart!

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BSOD jokes - I'm far too slow ..

Was my instant reaction, but then I guess people have managed to 'harden' software sufficiently to cope with flying military jets, run car engines, sort out ABS.... must be possible, though I'm not sure I'd start with such an operating system (and unix/linux/android/symbian are all at least as bad).

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'shoot ahead of what customers want today'

As usual with Microsoft they've come late to the party and are claiming to have invented the future. Much of this is available already on the Nissan LEAF where it is called CARWINGS:

http://www.nissan.co.uk/GB/en/vehicles/electric-vehicles/electric-leaf/leaf/discover/leaf-carwings.html

(sorry about the Flashtastic site)

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Another disturbing thought

Once the car is linked to a telematics system I have little doubt that the UK bluebottles will be grabbing all the data to work out who to charge with speeding - its bad enough with their pathetic cameras everywhere.

The government will then latch onto its ability to charge you a fortune to use the roads.

On the plus side it will provide an interesting sideline in hacked up control systems that don't communicate with the spy in the sky....

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Anonymous Coward

on the other hand.

I'm pretty sure that if you mentioned that you were hungry, it could check your last months credit card statements and suggest the closest restaurant that you've frequented.

My car, on the other hand, would detect the cologne, direction of travel and the time, and say something like: 'Still trying to get laid?'

Also, the system could be (but probably never will) smart enough to signal the idiot in front of you that he should approach the speed limit or get off of the road.

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Happy

No problem

just jailbreak it, or erase & install your favourite, alternate OS instead.

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Anonymous Coward

toyota will be like nokia?

I own Toyota car & Nokia phone at the moment - and i'll accept only Meego os, so time to find something new...

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One more step to the car as an applianhce (shudder)

And I thought Pugot was leading the feild in turning cars into tampon shaped handbags!

at this rate its only a matter of time until Steve comes up with the iCar

(available in white or black - orders for black will take an extra 6 months)

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