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back to article Wanted: Nude female web coders

A Buckinghamshire company is looking to recruit "a number of female web coders" who are prepared to work as nature intended in a "warm and private" naturist office environment. Nude House provides software which creates "hot-spots" on website photos, as explained here. As well as naked sales people tempting customers to buy, …

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Silver badge

Customers don't know?

"...since they'll "never know that the provider is nude""

Well, now they do, don't they?

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Coat

Since they'll never know that the provider is nude

As a home naturist myself I frequently have nothing to hide when taking a call on the works hotline. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "If they only knew......"

(Coat? What's that?)

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Grenade

Only females allowed?

Surely this is sexual discrimination. Why can't any male naturists take this job? I can see no reason why they'd be any worse at it.

Might we worth popping in a CV and giving a lawyer a ring.

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Linux

RE: Discrimination

Though legally they would be required to take applications from males they will probably bin it.

It's not like advertising that type of thing publicly is shunned. I've seen "Female Only" positions in the Job Centre.

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Bronze badge

RE: Discrimination

That isn't the point: male/female only positions are permitted by various exceptions when there is legitimate requirement for a person of one gender - say the personal care of a particular individual which may be quite "sensitive" at times. Web coding is not one of them.

It also invalidates their assertion that the naturist environment is not of a sexual nature. If it was simply about (literally) letting it all hang out then gender would be an irrelevance. The fact that positions are being advertised specifically for females indicates that this is nothing to do with a "relaxed" environment and all about the proprietor saying "Let's get some naked totty in here".

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Age discrimination

When I last looked its also illegal to discriminate on the grounds of age, so the idea that someone can advertiise for 'young females' to do a job where the person doesn't need to be young or female is a bit off

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Silver badge

Re: Only females allowed

Par for the course. Here in Australia, Sections 34 - 35 of the so-called "Equal" Opportunity Act allow for discrimination where there is a "genuine occupational requirement" that a person be of a particular gender.

What that translates to in reality is that if someone advertises for "female only" nobody bats an eyelid, but if someone were to advertise for "male only", there would be a national outcry and the judges would rule that Sections 34 and 35 "don't apply in this case".

Don't you just love the monstrous double-standards perpetrated by the feminists over the last 30 years?

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Flame

yeah, b***cks...

I go to the same beaches where naturists go. My dad used to refer to them as "my favourite marine mammal". They are the best indicator that the beach is clean and not crowded.

Anyway, back to subject - if the naturist beach population is to be taken as representative of the "marine mammal" species, than the age discrimination is opposite -it is a "no young females" environment. It is all grannies, granddads (and on the beach - their grandchildren). The 10-40 age bracket both male and female on a naturist beach is usually wearing something.

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Stop

'); DROP TABLE comments; --

You were doing okay until you launched in to conspiracy theorist mode.

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Joke

Equal Ops

Hey, that's not a job which specifically requires a female, so equal op's mean they *have* to tender applications from men too, I'm popping mine in the post very soon, luckily email pages don't get stuck together.

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Happy

Ah- there are pictures!

Ergo; this has happened!

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Joke

seats

I hope they get round to putting some plastic over those chars. The fabric will be ruined! ruined i tell you!

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Go

As the Hitch Hiker's Guide puts it

I always know where my towel is.

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Happy

Let's hope it 'takes off'!

(Snigger)

#smut

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FAIL

Heath & Safety

What are the effects of CRT monitors on unshielded breasts?

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Re: health and dafety

Surely you mean...

CRT monitor - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Silver badge

Actually...

Having just commented about the CRT monitor, I have looked at their website, which can only be described as having been designed with Netscape Navigator Gold... So I believe they are possibly trapped in a time warp...

Which might explain how the naturists they show appear to actually look vaguely attractive, when all the ones I have ever seen before are the kind of people you'd prefer to keep their clothes on!

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Unhappy

RE: Netscape Navigator Gold

I think the site pre-dates that ... the weird mix of hyperlinks with text and hyperlinks with bad pictures is awesome in a way that eludes me.

The meta tags give their intentions more that the text on the page, and prove that they don't use spell checkers:

description: "Nude-House combines real houses filled with naked ladies and the clients wanting to photograph, paint, draw and paint upon them. A bit kike a permanent Naked-Office to bond the workers more.

keywords: "Naked young girls. Nude young ladies. Female nudity. Au naturel, bare, bare-skinned, bare breasted, bared, barren, defenseless, denuded, disrobed, divested, exposed, helpless, in dishabille, leafless, natural, nude, open, peeled, raw, stark-naked, starkers, stripped, threadbare, unclad, unclothed, unconcealed, uncovered, undraped, undressed, unprotected, unveiled, vulnerable, in one's birthday suit, in the buff, in the raw, naked as a jaybird, without a stitch"

The grammar is bad as well: "The other systems that can be sold are listed on the site Nightingale Services but we encourage non-nudists to visit Songbird but we aim customers at Graphic-Links"

how many but's?

I might be wrong, but the "Other systems that can be sold" seems to be a very expensive way of doing image-maps in HTML that looks worse than if you did it yourself.

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Coat

re: re: Netscape Navigator Gold

"how many but's?"

I can see two in the picture. Snarf, snarf.

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Happy

Re: re: re: Netscape Navigator Gold

You don't have to get your coat, I think there are several people here willing to hand it to you!

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TIT...le

It's not even imagemaps. It's DIVs using position: absolute.

And onmouseover events to provide the popup...

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Netscape

I can confirm that the page does not render correctly in Netscape Communicator 4.79.

However, you can at least read the content, which is more than can be said for most websites in that ancient abomination.

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Sweatshop

With this kind of work environment, I would only need internet access in order to do my work. Pure genius.

Wish their website looked as good as their offices.

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Coat

I need my eyes checked.

> Wish their website looked as good as their offices.

For a moment I thought you wrote “as good as their orifices” and I wondered whether you saw a different picture than the one I saw in the article.

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Microsoft office

Would take on a new, and self deprecating, meaning if I worked there.

OK, just one more:

I can confirm that having an 11th digit available does NOT improve my typing skills.

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Happy

well, at least you said digit

And NOT third foot. Good on you calling yer little joe proper now.

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Headmaster

re: naturist != sex

If they're having a hard time with people grasping that idea, maybe they might try posting pics of more "average" looking naturists. Naturist also does not equate to lingerie model.

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Gold badge
Joke

"If they're having a hard time with people grasping that idea...."

Hmm, from the previous posts it would seem that It's not just them having a hard time and that ideas are not the only things being grasped by people.......

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Pint

from their website

"While working you could be on view to members of the general public - enjoy the situation (these could become future customers)"

so basically this is a porn cam, with the option of clients getting their rocks off and a retro looking website to boot.

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Happy

In the event of a fire alarm...

...please gather in the car park next to the road. Oh, wait....

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Anonymous Coward

chairs

Does each new member of staff get a new chair? or at least chair protectors? Call me overly squeamish, but sharing cloth chairs and naked working seems a bit icky to me.

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Anonymous Coward

Cheaper

Stain Devil and antibacterial spray...

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Anonymous Coward

Does each member of staff get a new chair?

From their website:

"Material will be provided for you to sit on that you should use all the time and get new clean versions whenever needed. You replace the material with the new and leave the soiled versions in the collection hamper which is dealt with each day."

This doesn't seem entirely serious.

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Thumb Down

The downsides

This is one of the things that's put me off naturism: it's not the being without clothes bit perse (I can see how in some ways that could be quite liberating), it's the unhygenic part of spending all day without underwear! Personally I'd need easy access to regular shower facilities...

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FAIL

Yes they desperately need a decent web developer

I'm not talking about a dressed one, male or female.

Maybe its me but if they are selling a visual web technology you would of thought they would have spent more than 30 seconds on a website.

Its a bit like Michael Foot starting a tailors.

£2500 grand for an instructable like overlay system, which isn't exactly very pretty. Unlike their salesperson on their website.

I did check the date 3 times!

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WOW

Would you look at the size of those...

CRTs

I wonder what H&S would have to say about the hygiene implications of nudity on the furniture?

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Boffin

I believe the term you're seeking...

... is "faecal striping".

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What you really mean is ...

skidmarks

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Anonymous Coward

CRTs? Monitors? Where?

I didn't see any.

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Anonymous Coward

...and

...white-lining.

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Happy

How big are those...

Monitors?

Looking at those, the phone and the keyboard I'd suggest this is a rather old photograph. Not that it stopped me looking for more, erm, evidence...

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Happy

Interview Etiquette

Do you wear a suit for the interview or just make sure your hair is neatly trimmed?

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What hair

is it permissible to wear?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Interview Etiquette

Come (no pun meant) to that are beards allowed at all?

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Happy

Side-boob.....

.....fnar, fnar

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Anonymous Coward

Mixed sex office?

Why do I get the impression from the advert that there is just the one man in that office?

Cynical, who me?

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