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back to article Middle England chokes on Nice Baps

A Bedfordshire baker has provoked the wrath of Middle England by dubbing his breadery "Nice Baps". Angry locals in Henlow wasted no time in objecting to the name after John O'Toole cut the ribbon on his establishment last Wednesday. The 42-year-old said his missus thought up the comedy moniker, and his other bakery of the same …

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Joke

Future plans?

I do hope this is resolved amicably, because I fear it may affect my plans to open my "Big Jugs" jug emporium in the same town!

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could i sub-let a back room...

for the Rear Entry Massage Parlour

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Joke

He should have called it...

...the Bap Store, but then Apple might sue him

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Happy

Whatever you want in your sandwich

There's a Bap for that

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Anonymous Coward

well that's solved my problem of

where to open my new bathroom shop.

To Henlow with "Soapy Tit Wank"

Sorted

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Happy

How about....

- Big Buns

- Big Cream Horn

- Tasty Tarts

It's not my fault you have a dirty mind!

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Pint

Which poor sod...

...has the job of trawling the Daily Fail for anything print-worthy, & do you at least let them get good & pissed first?

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Joke

Hardware store

He could always open a harware store called John's Massive Tools

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Coat

Or maybe...

...Sell circular enclosures for poultry in a shop called 'cock rings'?

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Happy

a local hardware store

Mann Tool.

For real: http://www.manntools.com/

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Go

Massive Tool

There was a large LED billboard on the highway on my way home from work for several weeks recenely declairing:

MASSIVE

TOOL

sale (that last word in a markedly smaller font)

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Badgers

Is it just me?

Or are the local idiots complaining because the baker is using the traditional name for his product, which has been taken as slang for breasts? Aren't they saying something along the lines of 'I only know the slang 'rude connotation' word, therefore any use of it is 'wrong' (will nobody think of the children?)?

Bap: a soft breadcake, suitable for making a bacon butty with.

Baps: more than one of the above.

Nice Baps: well you wouldn't want nasty ones, would you? They wouldn't sell, even *with* bacon in them...

FFS people, grow up! Or if it's too late for that, buy a dictionary...

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Happy

Anglo Saxon words are so unfashionable..

Something to do with us once having a French king at some time or another.

I say bollox to them,

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Anonymous Coward

@Neil

Sorry:

Bacon butty = made using bread.

Bacon bap = made with soft bread roll.

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@AC15:48

To paraphrase t'Bard: A bacon sarnie, by any other name ...

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Alternatives

"Good Firm Buns"

Or perhaps "Well Toasted Buns" for the fetish crowd.

Or of course "Toole Sandwich".

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Anonymous Coward

Alternative name

Flour-y Bloomers

I know someone called Baps and she couldn't open a facebook account with that name, it's apparently on some unacceptacle word list.

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FAIL

Egad

It's political correctness (sorry, social acceptability) gone mad.

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Happy

Asda

I did a double-take at Asda's "Big Eat Granary Baps". It looked far too close to "Big Fat Granny Baps".

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Anonymous Coward

FFS!

Of all the things they could get uptight about they choose this?

The fact is that it's a shop that sells baps and they claim that they are nice. Anybody objecting to the name would surely have to have a dirty mind in the first place?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: FFS!

I think the dude knew what he was doing, somehow. And fair enough.

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Badgers

hmmm

A story about Nice Baps in Beds with O'Toole?

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WTF?

oh for heavens sake

If these people have nothing better to do I suggest that they read the OED

Pronunciation:/bap/

noun

British

1 a large, round, flattish bread roll , typically with a spongy texture and floury top.

2 (baps) informal a woman's breasts.

I the context of a baker, I think the meaning is obvious.

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Go

I dont get it.

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable name for a bakery to me.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I dont get it.

Yeah, there's one near me called The Crusty Loaf Fellatio Buggery. No one seems to give it a second glance, but that's London for you.

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Anonymous Coward

well...

You say that Sarah, but there is a late night takeaway near me called Burger-y, does that count?

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Headmaster

@Sarah

If fellatio and buggery were bread products, that might not have been a nonsequitur.

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Watch out for the IMB!

Yes, the International Muffin* Brigade will probably have his name on a list!

* the oven-bottom muffin is the term of choice for this doughy delicacy in some parts of the world and people are surprisingly sensitive to the correct us.

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It could be worse

My local Chinese Take Away is called the Rea Ming.

And no, I am not joking.

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Happy

The Crusty Loaf Fellatio Buggery

Is that the one on Cumming Street near Kings Cross?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Sarah

It was a nonsequitur for comic effect.

Sigh.

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Joke

Crumbs...

... that's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it?

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Anonymous Coward

Is that

One of those annual charity dos on TV? Red noses, or something?

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Happy

For heaven's sake!

Stuff world hunger, poverty, revolutions in the Middle East, nothing raises the blood pressure of a NIMBY MIddle Englander than a little bit of smutty innuendo!

I reckon there's something more to this story than is being presented.

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The pet shop next door ...

Wouldn't happen to be called "Great Puppies" would it?

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Nicely played, Mr O'Toole...

...frankly it's just a shame his name's not Timmy, for the full-on comedy double-whammy.

I wonder whether the people objecting to the name realise that they've essentially given the business free marketing by complaining to the council? Probably not the effect they were hoping for, unless the whole thing's a stunt...

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Paris Hilton

TITLE MUST CONTAIN OBLIGATORY CUNNING STUNT JOKE.

Paris because, well, her cunning stunt was filmed for the world to watch.

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WTF?

The Wrath of Middle England!!!

Which consists of one stiff* letter to the council...

* careful now!

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down with this sort of t'ing

thats all....

NUNS!

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WTF?

Uptight or what

There's a burger van every day in a layby on a major road near here called "Angie's Big Baps" that's been running for years, so presumably not many people have objected to that. Maybe people round here can just take a joke.

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We had a 'Big Baps' sandwich shop in Bournemoth..

..only closed because f*sking Subway was allowed to open next door!

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Typical Daily Hate bullshit

I bet nobody had even twigged until a reptile from that vile rag started asking if they found it offensive.

I dread to think what they'd have made of a bakery in Rochdale where I once saw a sign in the window saying "Say it with bread. Give her a muffin".

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Coat

Business ventures

At least he didn't go into the Ironmongery business.

O'Toole's Knobs & Knockers

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Pint

Title must contain at least one amusingly named shop

There's a hardware store in Dublin called Knobs and Knockers, about five minutes walk from a cafe with the wonderful name of The Queen of Tarts

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Happy

Burger Me!

That is all.

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El
Paris Hilton

Ok

Here in the states, nobody seems to object to a burger chain calling themselves "In-n-out Burger", even despite most people's penchant for modifying the bumper stickers they give out to read "In-n-out Urge".

Paris 'cause whenever I see her I get an urge for a... burger?

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Paris Hilton

A liverpool pub...

called the cockwell In(n) http://tinyurl.com/3nhqrj9

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Perfect Name

To appeal to the (still) significant Air Force crowd, serving and retired, that are in that village and the surrounding area.

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Okkaay...

A Google search for bakeries in Henlow sadly didn't show Nice Baps.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=henlow+bakery#q=henlow+bakery&hl=en&prmd=ivnscm&source=univ&tbs=plcs:1&tbo=u&ei=bm6UTdCbE4eXhQfwmeDnCA&sa=X&oi=local_group&ct=more-results&resnum=1&ved=0CEoQtQMwAA&fp=5cbc1c678812025a

However the first two are called Gunns and (wait for it)

Rogers

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John O'Toole?

Is his wife's name Plenty?

Thank you Ian Fleming and Albert Broccoli.

I agree with the queen, he knew exactly what he was doing.

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