Middle England chokes on Nice Baps
A Bedfordshire baker has provoked the wrath of Middle England by dubbing his breadery "Nice Baps". Angry locals in Henlow wasted no time in objecting to the name after John O'Toole cut the ribbon on his establishment last Wednesday. The 42-year-old said his missus thought up the comedy moniker, and his other bakery of the same …
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Future plans?
I do hope this is resolved amicably, because I fear it may affect my plans to open my "Big Jugs" jug emporium in the same town!
could i sub-let a back room...
for the Rear Entry Massage Parlour
He should have called it...
...the Bap Store, but then Apple might sue him
well that's solved my problem of
where to open my new bathroom shop.
To Henlow with "Soapy Tit Wank"
Sorted
How about....
- Big Buns
- Big Cream Horn
- Tasty Tarts
It's not my fault you have a dirty mind!
Which poor sod...
...has the job of trawling the Daily Fail for anything print-worthy, & do you at least let them get good & pissed first?
Hardware store
He could always open a harware store called John's Massive Tools
Or maybe...
...Sell circular enclosures for poultry in a shop called 'cock rings'?
a local hardware store
Mann Tool.
For real: http://www.manntools.com/
Massive Tool
There was a large LED billboard on the highway on my way home from work for several weeks recenely declairing:
MASSIVE
TOOL
sale (that last word in a markedly smaller font)
Is it just me?
Or are the local idiots complaining because the baker is using the traditional name for his product, which has been taken as slang for breasts? Aren't they saying something along the lines of 'I only know the slang 'rude connotation' word, therefore any use of it is 'wrong' (will nobody think of the children?)?
Bap: a soft breadcake, suitable for making a bacon butty with.
Baps: more than one of the above.
Nice Baps: well you wouldn't want nasty ones, would you? They wouldn't sell, even *with* bacon in them...
FFS people, grow up! Or if it's too late for that, buy a dictionary...
Anglo Saxon words are so unfashionable..
Something to do with us once having a French king at some time or another.
I say bollox to them,
@Neil
Sorry:
Bacon butty = made using bread.
Bacon bap = made with soft bread roll.
@AC15:48
To paraphrase t'Bard: A bacon sarnie, by any other name ...
Alternatives
"Good Firm Buns"
Or perhaps "Well Toasted Buns" for the fetish crowd.
Or of course "Toole Sandwich".
Alternative name
Flour-y Bloomers
I know someone called Baps and she couldn't open a facebook account with that name, it's apparently on some unacceptacle word list.
Egad
It's political correctness (sorry, social acceptability) gone mad.
Asda
I did a double-take at Asda's "Big Eat Granary Baps". It looked far too close to "Big Fat Granny Baps".
FFS!
Of all the things they could get uptight about they choose this?
The fact is that it's a shop that sells baps and they claim that they are nice. Anybody objecting to the name would surely have to have a dirty mind in the first place?
Re: FFS!
I think the dude knew what he was doing, somehow. And fair enough.
oh for heavens sake
If these people have nothing better to do I suggest that they read the OED
Pronunciation:/bap/
noun
British
1 a large, round, flattish bread roll , typically with a spongy texture and floury top.
2 (baps) informal a woman's breasts.
I the context of a baker, I think the meaning is obvious.
I dont get it.
Sounds like a perfectly reasonable name for a bakery to me.
Re: I dont get it.
Yeah, there's one near me called The Crusty Loaf Fellatio Buggery. No one seems to give it a second glance, but that's London for you.
well...
You say that Sarah, but there is a late night takeaway near me called Burger-y, does that count?
@Sarah
If fellatio and buggery were bread products, that might not have been a nonsequitur.
Watch out for the IMB!
Yes, the International Muffin* Brigade will probably have his name on a list!
* the oven-bottom muffin is the term of choice for this doughy delicacy in some parts of the world and people are surprisingly sensitive to the correct us.
It could be worse
My local Chinese Take Away is called the Rea Ming.
And no, I am not joking.
The Crusty Loaf Fellatio Buggery
Is that the one on Cumming Street near Kings Cross?
Is that
One of those annual charity dos on TV? Red noses, or something?
For heaven's sake!
Stuff world hunger, poverty, revolutions in the Middle East, nothing raises the blood pressure of a NIMBY MIddle Englander than a little bit of smutty innuendo!
I reckon there's something more to this story than is being presented.
The pet shop next door ...
Wouldn't happen to be called "Great Puppies" would it?
Nicely played, Mr O'Toole...
...frankly it's just a shame his name's not Timmy, for the full-on comedy double-whammy.
I wonder whether the people objecting to the name realise that they've essentially given the business free marketing by complaining to the council? Probably not the effect they were hoping for, unless the whole thing's a stunt...
TITLE MUST CONTAIN OBLIGATORY CUNNING STUNT JOKE.
Paris because, well, her cunning stunt was filmed for the world to watch.
The Wrath of Middle England!!!
Which consists of one stiff* letter to the council...
* careful now!
Uptight or what
There's a burger van every day in a layby on a major road near here called "Angie's Big Baps" that's been running for years, so presumably not many people have objected to that. Maybe people round here can just take a joke.
We had a 'Big Baps' sandwich shop in Bournemoth..
..only closed because f*sking Subway was allowed to open next door!
Typical Daily Hate bullshit
I bet nobody had even twigged until a reptile from that vile rag started asking if they found it offensive.
I dread to think what they'd have made of a bakery in Rochdale where I once saw a sign in the window saying "Say it with bread. Give her a muffin".
Business ventures
At least he didn't go into the Ironmongery business.
O'Toole's Knobs & Knockers
Title must contain at least one amusingly named shop
There's a hardware store in Dublin called Knobs and Knockers, about five minutes walk from a cafe with the wonderful name of The Queen of Tarts
Ok
Here in the states, nobody seems to object to a burger chain calling themselves "In-n-out Burger", even despite most people's penchant for modifying the bumper stickers they give out to read "In-n-out Urge".
Paris 'cause whenever I see her I get an urge for a... burger?
A liverpool pub...
called the cockwell In(n) http://tinyurl.com/3nhqrj9
Perfect Name
To appeal to the (still) significant Air Force crowd, serving and retired, that are in that village and the surrounding area.
Okkaay...
A Google search for bakeries in Henlow sadly didn't show Nice Baps.
http://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=henlow+bakery#q=henlow+bakery&hl=en&prmd=ivnscm&source=univ&tbs=plcs:1&tbo=u&ei=bm6UTdCbE4eXhQfwmeDnCA&sa=X&oi=local_group&ct=more-results&resnum=1&ved=0CEoQtQMwAA&fp=5cbc1c678812025a
However the first two are called Gunns and (wait for it)
Rogers
John O'Toole?
Is his wife's name Plenty?
Thank you Ian Fleming and Albert Broccoli.
I agree with the queen, he knew exactly what he was doing.
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