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back to article Handy radiation checker comes to iPhone

iPhone users can now download a free iPhone app to tell them what local radiation levels are, in case they've not got enough to worry about. The new application is available worldwide, though you'd have to take paranoia to a new level to worry about spreading radiation from Japan if you weren't actually nearby: even then you …

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Unhappy

Free Geiger

I just installed the free (fake) Geiger counter Iphone app last evening, I was hoping that it would have a hidden slide control so that one could frighten ones' co-workers; but it didn't.

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Jobs Horns

Hidden slide control

This is what's known as the BOFH option, I believe.

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Happy

You're holding it wrong...

The fake geiger counter apps I've seen use the iPhone's motion sensor to let you rig the results. Hold the phone flat and you get a low reading. Tilt it slightly and you get a nice high reading to scare your friends with

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Anonymous Coward

Windows = better!

For most people (especially if you live in Cornwall) the main risk is from Radon. Opening your house windows every now and again will reduce the amount of Radon in your house.

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Anonymous Coward

But I thought

"Washing machines last longer with Radon!".

Or summin.

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Coat

@AC

But I thought Radon was the secret to a nice relaxing bath?

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Bronze badge
Coat

Radon

I thought it was the video card you had in your PC when you didn't have a NVidia.

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Unhappy

AHHHHH

I'm Dooooomed. Here I am on holiday in Cornwall in the bath playing computer games with my laundry on. Why did no one tell me of the risks before

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Silver badge
WTF?

Why do you wear your laundry in the bath?

I guess if you splash about a lot it will result in good agitation.

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N2

Correct

& Radon just happens to be an Alpha emitter which has a short range, but being a relatively large particle (helium nuclei) it does a lot of damage along its short track

So smoke outside in Cornwall unless you want alpha particles burnt into your lungs!

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Silver badge

Chocolate teapot

About as much use as the above, I imagine. Still, somebody's making some money out of it.

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WTF?

FFS!

Holy shit my house is gone, all my possessions and there family members missing, you know what I need a f**king fake geiger counter app for my iPhone, the only possesion I still own!

Sounds more like a scam to fleece people already down on their luck!

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WTF?

What You Talkin' 'bout Willis?

Huh? This isn't a fake geiger counter - it's an app the scrapes and displays radiation levels from the interwebs, as explained in the article.

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nah

It's aimed at the credulous New Jerusalem liberals currently wittering away about how they're going to get pedophile AIDS cancer from the evil radiation monster. Such people can mostly afford whatever luck they need.

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so it's an APP that....

...can display data from web connected servers. I'm amazed no-one thought of it before. I hope someone comes up with a version for the PC soon.

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so which Iphone...

is going to have the geiger sensors onboard? 6,7?

or will HTC beat them to it?

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0

But I cant be affected by radiation...

.....I'm sure my local council declared my town a nuclear free zone back in the early 80's!!

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Gold badge
Joke

Nuclear free

Presumably after doing that, they fitted a 20cm thick lead sheet under the town to protect it from all the nucleides in the Earth (the things that are keeping the middle warm).

Then they fitted one over the top to protect you all from the stuff coming from space, and finally fitted a wall all the way around so that they don't annoy any of the towns nearby with their stupid, useless pondering?

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Silver badge

Don't forget

restricting the types of smoke detectors available and banning several forms of medical imaging.

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Joke

No App for this! :)

"20cm thick lead sheet" ... "Then they fitted one over the top to protect you all from the stuff coming from space"

Only 20cm? ... Uhhmmm... how do I break it to him gently? ;)

You know that Shark film where the guy famously said, "you're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Well, you're gonna need more than 20cm, a lot more :) …

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultra-high-energy_cosmic_ray

Plus "stuff coming from space" like this is streaming through all of us all the time (although obviously not all it is at such record breakingly high energy levels).

So I'm not sure there's an App for that!, but you could try holding your phone over your head for extra shielding, as it could add an almost insignificant extra amount of shielding. :)

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Haha, so did my old local authority,

I remember all the paperwork from the old Strathclyde Regional Council having the nuclear free logo on them. They had obviously decided that HMNB Clyde (where the strategic nuclear deterrent is stored) and Hunterston A and Hunterston B Power Stations were in some other region.

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Anonymous Coward

Already here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-12892383

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Alert

No use for me

As a banana eating Cornishman who used CRT monitors for years I'm screwed anyway no need to try and fear me further!

Now wtf did I do with my shiny hat!

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Silver badge

I wouldn't worry about the CRTs

They have all that inch-thick lead glass on the front. That's more than radiologists get.

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Anonymous Coward

@Banana-eating Cornish AC

"Now wtf did I do with my shiny hat!"

You shouldn't wear tinfoil hats- they cause the buildup of radon gas emitted by the granite fillings in your teeth.

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Doses...

Nice to see that even the higher readings basically rate as 2x the background radiation. OH NOES!! WEZ ALL GUNNA DIEZ!! </sarcasm>

Take your media hype and shovel it.

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Pint

@Colin Wilson 2

Thanks!!

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Skewed results on iPhone?

How much radiation does the Reality Distortion Field generate?

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And the app will probably say ...

... that if you're concerned about radiation, you should probably start by turning off the very device that you're using to search for the information.

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Silver badge
FAIL

If its anything like

the spirit level app we used to level a table at work, its utter bollocks

Ps that table worked well so long as you liked one end 5 inches higher than t'other.

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paranoid to a new level...

A girl I work with said she was grateful she'd bought a car recently. Because it means that she doesn't have to walk home in the radioactive rain.

1) We're in ireland.

2) She lives a 10 minute walk away.

3) Radioactive rain???

I tried explaining that he phone was probably more radioactive than the rain but she wouldn't listen. "But I'd prefer to limit my exposure....."

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Boffin

The REAL Danger of Radiation Nuclear Fallout!

COME ON PEOPLE!

Are you all mad?!

The radiation is falling out in Glasgow - can't you see the DANGER?!

These Scots could develop SUPER POWERS, grow to an ENORMOUS size and take over the entire country!

I have a spare exclamation mark, if anyone needs one.

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Coffee/keyboard

<gurgle>

"The data for the app, called Radiation Information and published by Qnuouo"

How the *hell* does one pronounce Qnuouo?

I tried here in the office and just managed to stop a colleague going for the Heimlich manoeuvre.

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Anonymous Coward

RE: Enormous Scots

Isn't that more the result of deep-fried Mars bars and no-exercise than Fukushima fall-out?

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Silver badge
Coat

iPhone and radiations

Certainly one would receive a higher dose of radiation from this app:

http://itunes.apple.com/app/the-ultimate-x-ray/id303956365?mt=8

than from the Fukushima fallout...

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Silver badge

Heh!

I declare fake Geiger Counter apps great!

When Palm Pilots were clever and hip I used to carry a "GPS" app on my Visor and offer to share it over the IR synch link with others similarly equipped.

When the happy recipient of my largesse opened the app it would tell him to tap on the screen for a reading. He would then get a large "X" displayed and the words "You are here". The results were interesting.

Demographics:

Older people who didn't know what to expect but couldn't see how it would work and usually needed talking into accepting the app - much laughing.

Younger people (usually sporting a Visor Edge or similar) who usually jumped at the chance to get something free - much scowling.

Make fun of people's tech by using it to tell the joke. Much better than flaming.

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Anonymous Coward

BBC Scotland have already done their best to frighten folks....

The report started:

"Minute levels of radioactive iodine have been picked up by a sensor in Glasgow. The levels are so small as to be insignificant to human health."

That didn't stop them from doing an at length report on the harm that this isotope with a half life of 8 days can do in serious quantities.

Maybe they have stumbled upon a conspiracy?? Has their been a secret meltdown at the Hunterston B AGR???

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Coffee/keyboard

No conspiracy

That explains Glasgow then!

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Flame

Iodine 131

Of course the chances of someone who happens to be undergoing cancer treatment (specifically thyroid cancer) walking past the sensor and causing a false positive reading are slightly higher than the chances of detectable radiation getting here from Japan.

There have been cases of people having radioisotope scans or treatments setting off radiation alarms at airports, and even items as mundane as cat litter can set the portal types off.

AC, because they should really have fixed this by now.

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