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back to article Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has dealt a serious blow to the El Reg space paper plane bureau by announcing she's going to drop the "Lohan" and emerge as just "Lindsay". According to her mum Dina, there are two reasons for the rebrand: first up, loads of megacelebs like Oprah and Beyonce thrive on a first-name-only basis …

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Paris Hilton

Celebutard?

Celebutard? I always thought it was "celebretard"... Though I suppose either way it gets the desired point across.

Paris, obviously!

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It's a three-fer (or a three-way)

I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew).

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Silver badge

Why not cerebretard?

no typo there

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Anonymous Coward

Retard

"I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew)."

Indeed. Retard isn't AFAIK a noun and shouldn't be used as such, unless you happen to be a septic in which case it seems to be acceptable to use a nound as a verb or a verb as a noun or probably an adjective as either.

I seem to recall a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin declares his liking for "verbing words". Hobbes replies that maybe one day they will be able to make language a complete impediment to understanding.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Retard

It's wordplay. You know? It doesn't have to make perfect sense, but then I realise the audience we're dealing with here.

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Anonymous Coward

Apparently Michael has claimed that Lohan is "a name of integrity"

you can hear the laughter from 60,000ft

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Anonymous Coward

title

What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

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Paris Hilton

What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

Sigh...

This is the P.A.R.I.S section, did you not get it?

Paris... well... as above, really - she always gets it

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Anonymous Coward

Possibly

Getting away from Lindsay Lohan? Sorry, I forgot, she's now rebranded. I'll start again with her new proper name:

Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T.

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Thumb Up

I can think of lots of acronyms but none sadly for your space plane.

I was too slow and you beat me to typing just what I was thinking.

If this wasn't in the PARIS section I would have been very keen to point out that it isn't IT related (I never thought I would be saying that) and more importantly, that no one really cares what the useless, talentless and Z listed American chav does with her drug / alcohol addled life.

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Gold badge
Joke

No, no, no

"Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T."

No, no, that's staying close. You didn't pay attention in biology, did you?

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Anonymous Coward

What about this?

Lindsay = Low income notwithstanding, daring into space attempting yardage? Mmmm.. Not good enough, I could not find a better one with "y"

Maybe someone else can find a better one. Come on, Ubuntu comes up with even more ridiculous naming each release.

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Pint

LINDSAY

Lithium Ion\Nickel Derived Stratospheric Aeroplane\Yacht?

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Anonymous Coward

LINDSAY

Lester's

Ingenious

Notch

Design

Space

Aeroplane

Yeah!

OK so I'm not great at it! And to acheive a notch design you'd have to, erm, cut notches in it

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Anonymous Coward

I like it - how about

Lester's

(most)

Ingenious

Not-so

Deep

Space

Aeroplane

Yet

?

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djs

LIndSAy

Light INDependent Space AnchovY

Just don't forget the salty fish payload.

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Thumb Up

Brilliant

That works on at least 2 levels

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Unhappy

an end to riding

the Li Lo of fame

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The biggest problem with this plan

is that she's not a megacelebrity, but a two-bit actress of dubious ability and alley-cat morals.

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Bronze badge

That's only the second biggest

The biggest: Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay. One of these names is not like the other.

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Anonymous Coward

She's an actress?

Well, you learn something every day

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Thumb Up

you forgot Ernie

Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay, Ernie. Only three have been on Sesame Street......and that's a true measurement of talent ;-)

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Silver badge

If you want a backcronym ...

Yet Another Space Diving Newspaper Illustrating Landscapes

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What about

Largely inebriated nation dare send airplanes yonder

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Not bad

Just needs a little tidying:

Legendary Info Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder

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Pint

Re: Not bad

You can get the best of the two worlds: Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder.

Previous PARIS coverage gives plenty of support for that affirmation!

Cheers

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Surely...

... Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares *Send* Aeroplanes/Aircraft Yonder (yep, spelling pedant on flying things).

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Headmaster

@Thomas 4

Hey, you don't use a gerund after dare(s).

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Silver badge

The real reason

Lindsay clearly hocked her surname to score some blow

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S.L.A.P.P.E.R.

Space

Launched

Aeroplane

Piloted

(by)

Playmonaut

(with)

Eventual

Recovery

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Backronym

Launch

Into

Notably

Darkened

Space

And

Yippee

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Pirate

LINDSAY

Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Self-Abusing Yelper

Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Satellite-Altitude Yelper

The Y on the end makes it more difficult.

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I have it...

Largely

Improvised

Nerd

Designed

Space

Aeronautical

Yo-Yo

(or possibly Yacht - but I like the concept of a "Yo Yo" device that could go up and down repeatedly to replace the Space Shuttle)

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Thumb Up

I like it!

Forget the space elevator, just have some bloke on the ISS with a bloody long yo-yo string.

He lets it down and you quickly clip a payload onto it as it comes within a few feet of th eground, then with a flick of the wrist it's on it's way orbit-ward.

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Fire up NAOMI

Next Ascender and Orbiter - Manned (sort of) Interactive

It's all the more aptly named if, on re-entry, this one crashed onto a hired help.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Fire up NAOMI

You, Sir... had me choking with laughter. How very cynical of you :-D

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Thumb Up

Mike's onto a winner with this one

Near Apogee Orbiting Model Initiative

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Mike's onto a winner with this one

That's pretty good. Keep 'em coming...

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Pint

how about?

Next, Another Origami Manufactured Initiative

The engineers will suffer from NAPS

Not Another Paper Straw :-)

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IT Angle

I think Naomi is one of the better candidates

A lot of the other suggestions so far such as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Anna Chapman, etc don't really have the right ingredients for "celebutard" status as I understand it.

For a viable candidate, we need:

* A colossal ego

* A lack of intelligence, or pretence thereof

* Regular newspaper articles detailing their latest screw-up or hissy fit

Possible others include:

* Being female (if we want to keep the PARIS, LOHAN, ?? theme running)

* An IT angle would be beneficial (the infamous Youtube video for Miss Hilton and the Blackberry incident would qualify Miss Campbell - couldn't really say for the former Miss Lohan)

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm

Lunatics In Newroom Design Spaceplane And Yet ....

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You should go with your other 'poster guuurl'

Covert High Altitude Payload Manned by Articulated Nonpareil

Maybe call the balloon part the:

Aeronautical Non-Navigable Assender

We saw how fond you were of her... And she keeps on making the news.

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What was Lohan anyway?

L ightweight

O range

H ula Hoop

A ircraft

N ik Naks

I had to cheat and stick some of your sponsors in, oh and the plane needs to be orange for this to work, no thanks required!

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I think...

It's because she doesn't like being known as LiLo!

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Oo look it's a hash sign ->

Launch Inhibiting Non-entity Delays Space Attempt Years.

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Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Neat!!

New keyboard please

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no, it's an octothorpe

Also, I had to Google miss Lohan. Quite pretty..... now if I could get her to wear some beer googles...

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@Josco

"Quite pretty" - must have been an old photo.

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Pint

Got another one you could try...

Jumbo

Aircraft

Created by

Kindergarden

Students

Over

Neverland

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Silver badge

Promotion!

Megan Fox, your day has come...

Mastering Earth's Gravity And <something starting with N>

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