Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has dealt a serious blow to the El Reg space paper plane bureau by announcing she's going to drop the "Lohan" and emerge as just "Lindsay". According to her mum Dina, there are two reasons for the rebrand: first up, loads of megacelebs like Oprah and Beyonce thrive on a first-name-only basis …
Celebutard? I always thought it was "celebretard"... Though I suppose either way it gets the desired point across.
It's a three-fer (or a three-way)
I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew).
Why not cerebretard?
no typo there
"I think the idea behind celebutard is to combine celebrity, debutante, and retard (a "word" I eschew)."
Indeed. Retard isn't AFAIK a noun and shouldn't be used as such, unless you happen to be a septic in which case it seems to be acceptable to use a nound as a verb or a verb as a noun or probably an adjective as either.
I seem to recall a Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin declares his liking for "verbing words". Hobbes replies that maybe one day they will be able to make language a complete impediment to understanding.
It's wordplay. You know? It doesn't have to make perfect sense, but then I realise the audience we're dealing with here.
Apparently Michael has claimed that Lohan is "a name of integrity"
you can hear the laughter from 60,000ft
What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???
What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???
This is the P.A.R.I.S section, did you not get it?
Paris... well... as above, really - she always gets it
Getting away from Lindsay Lohan? Sorry, I forgot, she's now rebranded. I'll start again with her new proper name:
Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T.
I can think of lots of acronyms but none sadly for your space plane.
I was too slow and you beat me to typing just what I was thinking.
If this wasn't in the PARIS section I would have been very keen to point out that it isn't IT related (I never thought I would be saying that) and more importantly, that no one really cares what the useless, talentless and Z listed American chav does with her drug / alcohol addled life.
No, no, no
"Getting away from Lindsay, that's spelt T W A T."
No, no, that's staying close. You didn't pay attention in biology, did you?
What about this?
Lindsay = Low income notwithstanding, daring into space attempting yardage? Mmmm.. Not good enough, I could not find a better one with "y"
Maybe someone else can find a better one. Come on, Ubuntu comes up with even more ridiculous naming each release.
Lithium Ion\Nickel Derived Stratospheric Aeroplane\Yacht?
OK so I'm not great at it! And to acheive a notch design you'd have to, erm, cut notches in it
I like it - how about
Light INDependent Space AnchovY
Just don't forget the salty fish payload.
That works on at least 2 levels
an end to riding
the Li Lo of fame
The biggest problem with this plan
is that she's not a megacelebrity, but a two-bit actress of dubious ability and alley-cat morals.
That's only the second biggest
The biggest: Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay. One of these names is not like the other.
She's an actress?
Well, you learn something every day
you forgot Ernie
Oprah, Beyonce, Lindsay, Ernie. Only three have been on Sesame Street......and that's a true measurement of talent ;-)
If you want a backcronym ...
Yet Another Space Diving Newspaper Illustrating Landscapes
Largely inebriated nation dare send airplanes yonder
Just needs a little tidying:
Legendary Info Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder
Re: Not bad
You can get the best of the two worlds: Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares Sending Airplanes Yonder.
Previous PARIS coverage gives plenty of support for that affirmation!
... Largely Inebriated Newspage Dares *Send* Aeroplanes/Aircraft Yonder (yep, spelling pedant on flying things).
Hey, you don't use a gerund after dare(s).
The real reason
Lindsay clearly hocked her surname to score some blow
Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Self-Abusing Yelper
Liquid-Influenced Normally-Destructive Satellite-Altitude Yelper
The Y on the end makes it more difficult.
I have it...
(or possibly Yacht - but I like the concept of a "Yo Yo" device that could go up and down repeatedly to replace the Space Shuttle)
I like it!
Forget the space elevator, just have some bloke on the ISS with a bloody long yo-yo string.
He lets it down and you quickly clip a payload onto it as it comes within a few feet of th eground, then with a flick of the wrist it's on it's way orbit-ward.
Fire up NAOMI
Next Ascender and Orbiter - Manned (sort of) Interactive
It's all the more aptly named if, on re-entry, this one crashed onto a hired help.
Re: Fire up NAOMI
You, Sir... had me choking with laughter. How very cynical of you :-D
Mike's onto a winner with this one
Near Apogee Orbiting Model Initiative
Re: Mike's onto a winner with this one
That's pretty good. Keep 'em coming...
Next, Another Origami Manufactured Initiative
The engineers will suffer from NAPS
Not Another Paper Straw :-)
I think Naomi is one of the better candidates
A lot of the other suggestions so far such as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Anna Chapman, etc don't really have the right ingredients for "celebutard" status as I understand it.
For a viable candidate, we need:
* A colossal ego
* A lack of intelligence, or pretence thereof
* Regular newspaper articles detailing their latest screw-up or hissy fit
Possible others include:
* Being female (if we want to keep the PARIS, LOHAN, ?? theme running)
* An IT angle would be beneficial (the infamous Youtube video for Miss Hilton and the Blackberry incident would qualify Miss Campbell - couldn't really say for the former Miss Lohan)
Lunatics In Newroom Design Spaceplane And Yet ....
You should go with your other 'poster guuurl'
Covert High Altitude Payload Manned by Articulated Nonpareil
Maybe call the balloon part the:
Aeronautical Non-Navigable Assender
We saw how fond you were of her... And she keeps on making the news.
What was Lohan anyway?
H ula Hoop
N ik Naks
I had to cheat and stick some of your sponsors in, oh and the plane needs to be orange for this to work, no thanks required!
It's because she doesn't like being known as LiLo!
Oo look it's a hash sign ->
Launch Inhibiting Non-entity Delays Space Attempt Years.
New keyboard please
no, it's an octothorpe
Also, I had to Google miss Lohan. Quite pretty..... now if I could get her to wear some beer googles...
"Quite pretty" - must have been an old photo.
Got another one you could try...
Megan Fox, your day has come...
Mastering Earth's Gravity And <something starting with N>