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back to article Marshall Islands prez 'legalises cocaine'

The government of the Marshall Islands has expressed its surprise that president Jurelang Zedkaia has issued an executive order legalising cocaine and introducing "a no-visa unrestricted entry programme for foreign nationals of any country". The bold initiative was apparently provoked by the need to raise cash to defend the …

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Silver badge

They are...

...a week early.

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Jobs Horns

Early, or on time

Or perhaps being mid-pacific in weird time zones their iPad and iPhones think its 1st April

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Silver badge

From the About Page

Third, you no longer need to hunt around for quirky or bizarre stories that are funny enough to share with your friends. We churn out these stories at a good clip, <b>and hope to have an archive of thousands of BS stories within a year</b>. While The Onion is still "America's Finest News Source," CBS Breaking News is not far behind and we're catching up fast.

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Seems they're covered, they just don't highlight the BS stories well enough. Looks like they're claiming to be a newswire site with parodies, or a parody site with newswires.

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more:

"CBS Breaking News was initially called Instant News and drawn up way back in 1998 as a project to be shown at ARS Electronica. The idea was to highlight sensationalism in the media, especially the bizarre spectacle of morbid journalism the media and media consumers feast on when major disasters such as earthquakes occur.

Finally released in 2010, the website gained traction thanks to a story entitled "Marshall Islands Legalize Cocaine."

Apparently, the president of the Marshall Islands is now threatening legal action. "

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FAIL

durrr

They also have stories announcing that Israel is dismantling its settlements and recognising the Palestinian state and that Japan is ending whaling...

Nothing to see here...move along

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Joke

US to Destroy All Nuclear Warheads!!!

And some amazing news from the same site, the US has decided to destroy all it's nukes! See http://cbsbreakingnews.com/us:461528

For similarly reliable news, I can strongly recommend The Onion - http://www.theonion.com

(For those of you who STILL don't get it... "CBS Breaking News" is a spoof news site, none of the stories are true. They're intended to be funny. The About page on the site makes that fairly clear, but it's not idiot-proof).

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Pint

Ok

But it's a joke site ... see their about page

http://cbsbreakingnews.com/about

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Anonymous Coward

Joke site not funny shocker

The articles seem to be a strange mix of the mundane and the bizarre. Still, his page views have now shot through the roof, which is something. How harsh are the libel laws in the Philippines?

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Pretty much non-existant

And even if they were to push ahead, he'd likely pay no more than 2000 peso (30 quid)

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Alert

Very much existent

Actually, the Philippines has THE most strict libel laws in the world. Libel is a CRIMINAL offense in the Philippines (as opposed to civil offense, which is the case in other countries) and journalists are regularly imprisoned when criticizing politicians.

Do learn your facts, before spreading misinformation.

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Anonymous Coward

Other headlines include

Israel to Dismantle Settlements, Recognize Palestinian State

Japan to End Whaling

US Planned Canada Invasion

United States to Destroy All Nuclear Warheads

Congressman Confesses to Masturbating Regularly

Next week, The Onion files a not entirely true story

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Thumb Down

Its partially

If you include the NAU then yes, Canada is being invaded by the US economically.

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Anonymous Coward

We've been the 51st state

since Reagan/Mulroney. The US president and Canadian prime minister were said to be quite fond of each other and both pushed strongly for Free trade and Globalization. They were dupes or thieving bastards, mostly the first; but unfortunately hard to rule out the second part.

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IT Angle

Legalized cocaine and opened his borders

Because he's tired of being raped and victimised by the west?

What was he smoking? Oh, I can guess...

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Anonymous Coward

My goodness...

...how on earth did my passport get to be in my hand...I'll just...put it back...and get back to work...

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FAIL

Easy troll

Talk about an easy troll. I can't believe their government rose to it.

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Anonymous Coward

Clarifications needed

"Zedkaia has issued an executive order (...) introducing a no-visa unrestricted entry programme for foreign nationals of any country".

"He declared to the press: Then the Westerners came. First it was the atomic bombs, and then now their irresponsible emissions are drowning our islands. We are tired of being raped and victimised."

I don't get it: are you tired or are you asking for more? The only way I can make sense of it is to interpret it as "tired but loving it in a masochist kinda way".

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Coat

So,....

That's this year's holiday sorted then ...

... yes, the one with the plane tickets, mirror and rolled up £50 note in the pocket please...

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Anonymous Coward

"has not legalised ... any hard drug"

Other than nicotine and alcohol of course...

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WTF?

I didn't know

Since when did nicotine and alcohol become 'hard drugs' ? Don't tell me you think they're the same as cocaine and heroin.....

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Unhappy

disappointed

well, i actually thought it was a really good idea.... I was seriously considering packing my bags and hot-footing it over there for a life of cocaine-fuelled debauchery.

oh well, foiled again.

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Silver badge

On a second look...

...this looks a bit like the kind of thing the "Yes Men" would get up to.

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I was just

thinking the same thing :) I'll go check their blog to be sure !

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Canada Invasion

I recall in the early 1970s a bit of a fuss when someone found (via FOIA) U.S. War department WWI "contingency plans" for a preemptive invasion of Canada, if the UK were to fall to Germany.

So the news may not exactly be "breaking". "Oozing" maybe.

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Joke

This could actually end well for them...

...they could get a huge influx of tourist dollars, lots of criminal fines from stings where undercover police pose as sellers, et cetera.

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Thumb Up

Vacation of the Stars

I guess we now know where Charlie, Lindsay, Courtney, and Amy are going for their vacations. Cocaine has a 1% import tax but straight razors get a 5000% hike. Gillette just found a new trick to an old game.

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Anonymous Coward

damn.

I've been so looking forward to doing several of the currently banned drugs, just to try them.

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