back to article Capitalism killed the Martians, suggests Hugo Chavez

Venezuelan supremo Hugo Chavez has provocatively suggested that Martian civilisation may have been wiped out by the arrival of capitalism. Speaking yesterday to mark World Water Day, el prez offered: "I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilisation on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived …

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Silver badge
Boffin

My mate Brian said...

That at "The End of the Universe", it would be uniformly cold.

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Pint

cold?

Or uniformly warm, depending on how you look at it.

<---- Mines the half-full one

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"There's A Deamon...

...for that," Maxwell.

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Bronze badge

Information entropy...

...is the silver hammer that killed Maxwell's demon. Bang, bang, down on its head, so the demon must eventually forget information.

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Anonymous Coward

Rodolf the red

Clearly, since the planet was left all red as the last traces of martian life disappeared, communism is to be blamed.

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Thumb Up

Awesome

I hope Ken Livingstone invites his best mate Chavez back to London while he is campaigning for the mayoral election.

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Re Red Ken campaigning for the mayoral election

You owe me a shock minute of my life!

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or socialism

After a few million years, decaying red tape would create a lot of dust.

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"the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves"

Well it certainly isn't humanitarian bombing, if we prioritised human suffering we'd be aiming our UN resolutions and economic power at China and the sketchier areas of Africa.

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Anonymous Coward

heh

Because China was great 30 years ago with almost no industry, no communication, no education, and a population on the brink of starvation, and western democracy would of course have provided all that without fail just as it did in Africa! o wait.

Most people I know from China aren't too dissatisfied with the place, why do you think so many students go back after they get their degrees?

The nation has major problems, but then again so do most nations, and few are as determined to drive forward and few need to keep the public on side quite as much as the Communist party has too in China as it has quite a colourful history when its people lose their patience.

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Anonymous Coward

Sketchy

Ever been there?

China, Libya, African countries, Venezuela, anywhere?

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Coat

"the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves"

2011 was the year the Mayonaisse Wars began...

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Anonymous Coward

China

I live there, and its obvious that many of the posters haven't a clue about China.

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Anonymous Coward

going back...

You're getting the 'public answer'. The 'private answer' is that they were instructed to come back and their relatives' lives insure it.

Of course, this is my own opinion based on my own observations.

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Anonymous Coward

@Anonymous Coward

Yeah been to China. A rather cool place infact. I preferred Japan, but the way it's going with its anti youth policy now days I doubt it'll remain that way.

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Coat

Does not grok

Someone done gone cuckoo for Coco Puffs. I think he's trying out for Sean Combs's old spot on Faux News.

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Big Brother

Stupid c*nt

He should maybe look at what happened to the ex-thriving Venezuelan Coffee Export Industry once "non-capitalism" arised.

I hear people are still trying to make money by carrying coffee bags over the border and selling them at the profit under the table.

Under "non-capitalism", these are called hoarders and gougers.

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WTF?

Wait

This article isn't a joke?

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Black Helicopters

It's an attempt to trivialise...

...the World Water Day conference and its message: de-privatise water!

When translated properly what he said was that capitalism and imperialism could leave a world a wasteland (as Mars is) because neither care about the conservation of resources.

He did *not* say capitalists destroyed Mars.

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deprivatise water, eh?

Let's think....was it any of the privatised operators in England that ended up having to have bottled water shipped to them over Christmas? Or that according to their own regulator, cost 2/3rds more to deliver a cubic meter of water than anyone else in the sector?

No, it's Northern Ireland water. Which is still in state hands.

Oh, guess who's still the second worst performing water firm in the UK? Here's a clue. It's the only other non-privatised one.

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Stop

NO

Wrong man. He's not trivializing anything. He DID say capitalism destroyed Mars.

You just don't want to accept he's nuts.

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Joke

"the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves".

What a cockup! We've already got oil, we should have attacked Wales and saved ourselves a load of trouble......

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Joke

Glad to see Sr. Chavez knows his Ray Bradbury

No wait, it was Guns, Germs and [Terran] Steel that killed the Martians, not Funds, Firms, and Stealing.

'never mind.

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hmm

What does 'would-be President-For-Life' mean? Wouldn't any elected politician want to stay in power?

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Happy

George Washington

Not all of them...

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Silver badge

There are fools and there are fools and who are the bigger fools is always the question in politics

"and returned to more traditional Chavezesque discourse when he said "the West's attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves"."

Traditional doesn't make them any less likely whenever one may know so little of the background, for the following has not been widely reported, and may be perfectly true. Stranger things have happened like, oh ....... well WMD in Iraq is one thing which immediately springs to everyone's mind, surely. That was a corker of a porker.

[blockquote]Posted by AmanfromMars on 3/23/2011 10:43:11 AM

""War will bring the EU together ..."

Unlikely. The Libya adventure has radically divided the EU (and NATO), with the UK, France, and Belgium (!) hot to go, whilst Germany conspicuously sits this one out." .... Posted by Vauung on 3/23/2011 5:04:29 AM

The UK is not hot to go to war, Vauung, and whenever the media and the internet start circulating tales such as are revealed here ... http://cryptogon.com/?p=21383 ...... and information as Posted by Bob on 3/23/2011 12:53:34 AM, here on the Daily Bell .... http://thedailybell.com/1913/US-Kill-Teams-Target-Afghan-Civilians-as-Trophies.html .... will they more fully realise the very real likelihood of Western agent provocateurs in orchestrating ill equipped insurrections with a limited supply of weapons, for the excuse to take over a nation and seize its assets and blockade its resources. For it is a very real optional scenario supported by the evidence on the ground.

It will be interesting to hear gung ho western government responses to such a briefing, if only to let the whole world know that they are appraised of the possibility of that particular Great Game/Power Elite play.

War never solves anything. It only creates further unforeseen and more complicated problems. I was going to say that even a fool would know that but quite obviously is Man still predominantly barely no more advanced than a primitive moron in such matters.

http://thedailybell.com/1916/EU-Troubled-Titan.html [/blockquote]

You surely know politicians well enough now to know whether they are perfectly honest and you can believe what they say, and whether they will do what they say they will do, or whether it is just so much hot air to fool any who listen to help them to get just what they want for themselves, rather than what they promise to deliver to the world and his dog.

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Stop

amanfrommars...

you're slipping, I nearly understood most of that... (and joking apart, agree with most of it).

BUT...

How can you post a comment to this particular story and manage to completely ignore the central point... You are dead... killed by capitalists!!

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Grenade

GODs Work .... in Mysterious Waves

"How can you post a comment to this particular story and manage to completely ignore the central point... You are dead... killed by capitalists!!" ...... Alister Posted Wednesday 23rd March 2011 16:43 GMT

I have no idea, Alister, for there was no crucifixion that I know of. Do you think IT can be Turing Magic on AIMission?

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Megaphone

You go, Reg!

After all, isn't it only right that foreign leaders who refuse to truckle should be mocked? Hugo Chavez' attitude to Big Oil, the USA and a bunch of other things clearly indicates that he is Not One Of Us.

Since he is Not One Of Us, it is incumbent on all right-thinking media outlets to traduce and demonise him, just as it is incumbent on others to mess with his elections, organise bogus anti-Chavez uprisings and generally make it clear that being Not One Of Us has disadvantages. Hereby the status quo can be sustained for generations, and nobody will dare to observe that being One Of Us might also have its disadvantages.

The Reg is proudly One Of Us. It has cheerleaders for rent-seeking media pigopolies, for the liberal spilling of human blood, for the hideously irresponsible and politicised nuclear industry (actually these last two share a cheerleader), etc.

So I am as always gratified to see The Reg demonstrate its red-top credentials. Never let the truth get in the way of dishing out a kicking against those who dare to be different.

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Anonymous Coward

@AC

Posting anonymously - wise choice

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WTF?

Hugo if you want to....

Nice to see comrade Chavez posting on the Reg. Mad as a bag of bats!

He seems not to have noticed that the Reg and it's many attendant correspondents feel free to point and laugh and politicians of ALL species. Not just a particular genus.

Although those arising from questionable democratic processes (George W Bush, Muammar Gaddafi, our own dear Hugo) are usually the more amusing.

(Nice day for a barbecue, I need the flame).

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FAIL

Chavez, on the other hand, doesn't politicise anything

You know, like us not finding life on Mars. *cough*.

Also, for a laugh, could you elaborate on why the Nuclear is any more irresponsible than any other corporation?

Please include how that fits in with your "Not One Of Us" theory when the biggest nuclear accident in history was caused by Not One Of Us?

Or how The Reg's coverage of war is in favour of _liberally_ spilling blood? If anything, most military articles on here appear to me to say how a better military could be achieved- meaning shorter wars, less bloodshed, and quicker recovery for both sides.

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Silver badge

I can only assume

"Hugo Chavez' attitude to Big Oil..."

You are aware that in Venezuela Hugo IS big oil. Given his attitude to oil it is pretty clear he isn't exactly a big believer in global warming, or if you prefer, climate change.

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FAIL

@AC 16:06

Err.... obviously you didn't actually read the article. Lewis was reporting statements made by Mr. Chavez that were way out there. Capitalism/Imperialism killed life on Mars? Seriously? I guess he thought Ray's novels were some sort of science text. Maybe he thought some of Heinlein's stuff was historical in nature.

It's not as if this is the FIRST bout of crazy Chavez has had, I mean the King of Spain had to tell him to STFU a couple years back.

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Mars was Enlightened: sigh and sigh, then fee

Q: Rust never sleeps, is that Y (not element 39) there is so much of it, rather then socialism?

A: No (not element 102), nothing to do with social science. Observe the mass of iron in (not element 49) the periodic table. What is the element with half its mass? It's the one with the IT angle, and there's a lot of it about too (not helium)

Q: So how?

A: Electricity - transmutation of elements

Q: O (not element 8), when?

A: When there were gods on Mt Olympus. Literally.

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Am i the only one thinking...

What the hell is a mammon?

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Coat

Mammon

The elementary force particle of attraction to breasts?

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mammon

Not "a" mammon, just mammon. Material weath as evil. Filthy lucre, etc. It's something biblical, moneylenders in the temple, and all that.

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Dead Vulture

I don't think that

Speculating that civilisations on other planets may have been destroyed by Capitalism is such a difficult concept to grasp. Oh, wait, I get it he is foreign and this is the Daily Mail so we should misinterpret comments for our own amusement.

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Stop

Well thats another load of pointless and ill-informed comments

Luther Blisset tops it off with another bucketful of turgid rubbish.

I have now given up reading these comments sections.

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Thanks for your vote

But I take offence at your allusion to the miniscule size of my bucket. The message was in fact in the title, so you needn't have even have read the comment, as it failed to compute for you. So here it is again:

Si02 + Si02 = Fe2O3 + 0

Don't complain about the lack of subscripts, ok

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Welcome

Clearly Chavez doesn't get the concept of irony.....

A populist Latin American quasi-strongman....

Who's social experiment is underwritten by oil being at $100 a barrel......

Warns about the excesses of resouce exploitation......

While denouncing the United States......

Who is the main customer for Venezuela's high-sulfur oil that nobody else can or wants to refine......

All that is missing is a promise to turn over power as soon as every Venezuealan learns how to play a musical instrument and you would have Woody Allen's "Bananas"!!

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Black Helicopters

Mammon

Mammon is, in some christian doctrines, the god of corruption and wealth. Curiously he isn't listed as a demon in the Book of Solomon but as an 'angel of repetence'.

Oddly, Mammon is often taken as another name for the Owl-God Moloch, who it is said is worshipped by the celebrants who attend the Bohemian Grove for a rite known as "The Burning of Care".

Rumour, and anecdotal evidence, suggests that many powerful people have attended this rite over several decades, including most US presidents from Bush snr. onwards.

However, having researched this tenuous link somewhat, I would reccomend that you, dear reader, don't bother. Because if its true, then the world is insane, and if its not then it will send you insane with its drivel. Either way, not a good result.

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