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back to article Cure for BALDNESS causes IMPOTENCE, says new study

Bad news for bothered baldies today, as boffins report that chemicals found in popular hair-loss medications can cause persistent lack of rigour in the trouser department. The new study, carried out by Dr Abdulmaged Traish of the Boston uni medical school and his colleagues, looks into the health effects of the 5α-reductase …

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Anonymous Coward

As of this writing, this story is in the top right corner of the page

directly under a picture of Steve Ballmer.

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Happy

I may be bald...

But I'm furtile =D

*suggestive wiggle*

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Joke

Furtile?

As in Furries? Bring forth the cleansing flame! </internets>

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Go

then

Bodybuilders have known for years that pharmaceuticals should be taken in combination with others to offset side effects. That's why despite media hysteria over steroids (or anything manmade), every Mr Olympia since inception are still alive and they're healthy, happy family men.

In the case of pharmaceutical hair loss treatments like Propecia or Avodart, it would be advantageous to take a male fertility drug such as HCG or Clomid to maintain the sexual functions. The combination would raise sex hormone levels without the need for exogenous testosterone. I would also recommend adding an anti-aromatase (Tamoxifen, Femara or Arimadex - although the Clomid mentioned also works) to the stack to prevent excess testosterone converting to estrogen.

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Joke

Re: then

Now available as an all in one called Mycoxaflopin

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Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Mycoxaflopin

new keyboard please!!

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Joke

Plus the one that helps protect against STDs...

Mycoxastillin?

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Silver badge

or you could just....

grow a pair, suck it up and be a man for fucks sake.

if you have cancer, then fair enough you need meds, heavy meds and lots of em, and an expert to manage the sidies, but being a slaphead??

buy a fucking hat!

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Thumb Down

Big Pharma's Standard Operating Procedure

Hey, here's a drug for the mildly annoying problem you have. The drug company rep is pushing it really hard and I get a bunch of cool free stuff for getting people onto it. It's got all these nasty side effects though, so you'll need these other drugs to counteract them. Here's another handful of pills to counteract the side effects of those ones. And here's the number for an attorney you can call in 5 years when we have to pull some of these bad boys off the market because some weak people died and stuff after taking them. Selfish bastards.

Now be a good little consumer and remember, ASK YOUR DOCTOR about blah blah blah...oh nearly forgot here's your free Mycoxaflopin pen and bumper sticker. Be sure to display them prominently! Have a nice day!

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Good news everyone!

A recent study* has determined that casual games can restore hair lost through male pattern baldness *AND* cure erectile dysfunction.

*Study funded by Popcap Games, not subject to peer review.

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Anonymous Coward

Luckily, the UK

..doesn't get many (any) of the 'Ask you doctor about..' adverts on TV (not sure if they are allowed). It's one of the first things I noticed about US TV- loads of adverts (at weird times in the programme) and most seem to be selling drugs that were not over the counter. Can't be a good thing.

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FAIL

>every Mr Olympia since inception are still alive and they're healthy

Yea right, you can't be health when your heart is stuffed. Just ask the former mr universe, actor governator!

The level of steroids used by body builders causes heart problems in later life.

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Silver badge

What !!!!

You must be out of your mind !

(One of my mates invented Arimidex)

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Happy

As a long-time baldy ...

I've always said keeping it clippered short is MUCH sexier than a delusional, whispy comb-over. Now we have the proof!

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Coat

Me too...

Having it all off is definately the way for having it off.... it's the psychology of looking like a new born baby. Or something like that.

Mines is the one without the Regaine in the pocket.

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Thumb Up

I would if I were organised

It tends to be short for a while, and then I forget to go the barbers. End result, I look something like Jack Nicholson after a day of sailing/hiking. I go for the eccentric fluffy look.

@Naughtyhorse: Too bloody right. When I was 18 my mum tried getting me to use rogaine. She was told in no uncertain terms that it'd be a waste of money as I refused to use anything like that.

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Pint

"bitchslap-of-fate"

Top marks for that man. Heres a pint on me!

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Boffin

And what of astressin-B?

Are they behind the times on this one? or did they buy shares in astressin-B manufacturers before they published...

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Anonymous Coward

Impotence

There's an app, err pill for that too!

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WTF?

So whats new

This is not news. They have known for years that it causes loss of libido in men, thus resulting in floppiness in the nether regions. I for one am bald and my gentlemens vegetables work fine now I have stopped taking that crap.

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Ru
FAIL

Total non surprise

Male pattern baldness... linked to testosterone. Male libido... linked to testosterone.

Hint: eunuchs tend to keep a full head of hair.

The side effects of finasteride can't possibly have been unknown for all this time; hell, anyone with 5 minutes and an internet connection could work this out for themselves. This study has about as much value as the much touted ursine toiletry research that is oft mentioned in the Reg's comment threads.

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Jobs Halo

No surprise

These drugs are basically testosterone inhibitors. They are therefore good at stopping things that testosterone causes such as male pattern baldness and prostate enlargement. Testosterone is also responsible for things like libido which you might want to keep.

Nice to have some figures on it though.

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Gates Halo

Bollox to that

Keep my libido? Pah humbug - I could have done with losing it 15 years ago, before I filled my house with expensive brats.

I'd like to become bald (to save money on haircuts) AND impotent (to save money fullstop); what meds do I need to take?

Bill...'cos I've got more hair, more kids and less money than him. I'm sure none of that is co-incidence.

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Silver badge

Personally,

I don't give a rat's ass what is, or isn't, growing out of my scalp. Nor do I care what colo(u)r it is. Worrying about how my maternal grandfather came about his genetics is is kinda pointless, when you think about it.

If you don't grok where I'm coming from, you obviously haven't thought about it. And if you think about it too much, mayhap that's where your impotence issues arise(sic)?

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As a balding friend of mine usually said...

"Why waste good hormones on hair?"

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Coat

raising the possibility of a causal relationship ...

Am I the only one who read that as "... casual relationship" ?

Yes? OK, I'll get my coat...

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Nope, me too.

I also remember a survey somewhere that found that most women simply don't give a (syrup of) fig.

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CT

"...a problem occurring in men as they get older."

Who says baldness is a problem? Next they'll be telling women they can eradicate the visible signs of ageing or something. Oh wait...

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Happy

So it's true, then

It really *is* a solar panel for a sex machine...

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Coat

"reported by some patients"

So if I read the article well, some old-ish patients take the medication because they are unlucky with women; as a result of the cure they find themselves lucky(er) only to discover that Charles the Bald* is not up to the task... then they blame the medicine? Erm... first time it happens to me, honest. Must be the medicine. Yeah right!

*hehehehehehe

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corrections

"These drugs are basically testosterone inhibitors. They are therefore good at stopping things that testosterone causes such as male pattern baldness and prostate enlargement. Testosterone is also responsible for things like libido which you might want to keep."

The drugs are not testosterone inhibitors. They block the action of "dihydrotestosterone" (DHT) at the hair follicle in genetically susceptible men. Big difference.

"The side effects of finasteride can't possibly have been unknown for all this time; hell, anyone with 5 minutes and an internet connection could work this out for themselves."

I took Propecia and the stronger Avodart for almost 4 years and never had a problem with them, except looking back I was wasting my time and money with them. Side effects of a sexual nature really boil down to a individual's genetic response. Regardless, hair transplantation is the best long term option. But baldness has been proven for hundreds of years to be stylish if done right.

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Anonymous Coward

One born every minute

"The drugs are not testosterone inhibitors. They block the action of "dihydrotestosterone" (DHT) at the hair follicle in genetically susceptible men. "

Is that what they told you?

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not sure why all the smugness?

Telling guys they should just be bald is just dumb. Some guys may be quite happy looking like a slaphead or a football hooligan or whatever. If you are happy being bald then thats fine for you. Its like saying guys shouldn't have nice clothes or otherwise care how they look. There seems to be some weird macho thing that caring about your appearance is somehow wrong. Some of us would rather have hair. TBH I'm married, I've been married a while. I see my reflection in a mirror or whatever far more than I get to use my dick. On a pragmatic basis I would far rather be impotent than bald. Its not a choice I should have to make really, thats the shame of it.

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Paris Hilton

Women seem to be programmed

.... to respond positively to bald men -- or so the empirical evidence seems to indicate. As hair has receded, attractiveness to women seems to have increased exponentially. They presumably like a "hard" man.

Paris, because she presumably knows all about it

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Joke

aising the possibility of a causal relationship ...

Or maybe they spend too much time rubbing their big head and not enough time with the little one!

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