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back to article Penthouse pokes punters in eye with 3D smut

Veteran smutmonger Penthouse has announced the launch of a 3D TV service described as "the first Pan European 3D formatted adult channel". Penthouse 3D will be putting out porn as of today between 22:00 GMT and 04:00 GMT from "ASTRA 3B, 23, 5 Degrees East", although there's no word on which providers will be handling the …

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  1. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Elmer Phud
      Reply Icon
      Boffin

      Russ Meyer

      (I was going to put some witty remark here but I think the title will do all by itself)

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  2. Ejit

    Shocking

    Did you see the quality of the pointing on the wall at 1m30s. Get you sacked that would.

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I see what you did there

    "...but has obviously decided to come early over European viewers."

    Though premature, erm, broadcasting isn't necessarily something to boast about.

    I'll get my coat.

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  4. GeorgeTuk
    Thumb Up

    Yay...

    ...but those scenes couldn't be more cliched!

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  5. janimal
    FAIL

    My Eye's My eyes!

    So now porn really can send you blind. Someone needs to warn them about the perils of red clothing with colour separated stereo!

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    On a technical note,...

    I just splashed out (doh!) 600 quid on a 3d monitor and spex for my computer - can i get this content streaming over the web? And does it come in anaglyph, shutter or crossview 3D (the latter being you cross your eyes and hope to see one image from the two being presented).

    And P-House are notoriously softcore, wake me when Hustler or Private get in on this gig.

    Paris for obvious reasons.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Paris Hilton

      Good grief

      Crossview 3D is a great idea, but they should take it one step further and broadcast in full on Magic Eye stereogram. Most confusing porn ever!

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reaches for popcorn...

    Sits back and awaits arrival of moderatrix to preside over the inevitable teenage jubfest level comments.

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    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: Reaches for popcorn...

      Yes, hello. What's your point, caller?

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Reaches for popcorn...

        /me rubs his thighs in a Vic & Bob stylee now the moderatrix is here.

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Penthouse is smart!

    Look, we all know that the internet was developed so that geeks and nerds could easily get their content of porn in the privacy of their own home.

    And look at how big the internet is today.

    The 3D TV manufactures are secretly supporting Penthouse in the belief that if porn could save the 'net, then it could save the 3D tv too!

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    1. Bill Neal
      Reply Icon
      Unhappy

      nah

      Why did they use THAT 3d? The color separated stereo kind gives me a headache. Why aren't more people using the 3d that use the grey glasses instead of the colored ones? Really what is so appealing about the colors?

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      1. Pablo
        Reply Icon
        Boffin

        @Bill Neal

        Because, color separation (anaglyph) is the only method that works on a standard monitor*. I assume the actual broadcast would use one of the newer technologies.

        *Well there's also the Pulfrich effect, but that relies on the camera continuously panning across the scene in one direction, with minimal other motion. Not really suitable for porn.

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        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Paris Hilton

          i refer you to...

          Emmanuel 2000

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  9. Thomas 4

    Meh

    I'm looking forward to a nice nature channel instead, with a wide angle view of a range of peaks or perhaps the Grand Canyon.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Paris Hilton

      I thought that was the point

      I mean c'mon, its all about peaks and canyons.

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Duck!

    It strikes me that porno is one of those genres where 3D might not be such a good idea. There are certain...fluids...that you do not need to see hurtling out of the screen towards you.

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    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. SirTainleyBarking
      Reply Icon
      Paris Hilton

      Things that swings

      There are some things that will be swinging to and fro that ain't that good on VHS yet alone 3D....

      *Bokes*

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  11. Version 1.0 Silver badge
    Happy

    That 70's show

    I kinda like the effect if you don't wear the glasses - takes my back to my youth and a few tabs of sunshine...

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Re: Thomas4

    irony noted, you should work for the Carry On network.

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  13. Blubster
    Unhappy

    Wouldn't be so bad

    If they had some decent looking women/girls/lasses (scratch out the ones that don't apply) instead of the over made-up plastic titted variety.

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  14. NoneSuch Silver badge
    Pirate

    Real Life beats 3D everytime...

    Time to get myself down to the Peppermint Hippopotamus to see how the gals are.

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  15. kennsmi
    Stop

    it's *almost* like touching a real Moderatrix

    This small segment of the porn industry has it all wrong - until 3d tv doesn't require special glasses or induce headaches it's DOA. The current 3d-tech is utter shite...blah blah polish a turd etc...

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  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    the internet is for porn

    Unfortunately, this isn't good enough to be classed as porn.

    Paris, for all the usual reasons.

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  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it because ...

    I'm a photosensitive epileptic that I see my local barmaid's tits in 3D without having to wear special glasses?

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