back to article HP misses Q1 sales, revises 2011 downward

Hewlett-Packard's new president and chief executive Leo Apotheker now knows what it is like to be Carly Fiorina, who ran the company two executives ago. Not just because they held the same power at HP, but also because they missed their numbers soon after taking the reins. In the first quarter of fiscal 2011 ended January 31, HP …

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WTF?

"Wage rises kicking in"

Where?! Certainly I am not seeing this rise neither are any of my colleagues in sales land.

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FAIL

That explains it

So more mass sackings as promised last year and strange sales pitches about putting CPU and server locked applications into the (drum roll please) Cloud to sell to even more gullible customers.

In short PHBs make bad assumptions and the coalface are responsible for the resulting FAIL. In 2 months CEO has gone from right moves to being same as predecessors.

Now to brainstorm appropriate nicknames.

The coat with demotivate.org posters and Despair Inc on back please.

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Flame

dear HP worker

“There is a pertinent story about a man who was working on an oil platform in the North Sea. He woke up one night from a loud explosion, which suddenly set his entire oil platform on fire. In mere moments, he was surrounded by flames. Through the smoke and heat, he barely made his way out of the chaos to the platform’s edge. When he looked down over the edge, all he could see were the dark, cold, foreboding Atlantic waters......."

i'm not an HP employee, but news like this always gives me a sick feeling.

[rant]

a CEO/COO/VP etc should only be given a bonus / stock options over and above a "regular" salary if and only iff, there have been no layoffs for the past 3 years, and the forecast for the next 2 looks healthy.

you go 2years and 11months and then layoff staff, sorry the counter resets.it's 3 years past and 2 years in the future. and if you meet the criterion you get a big fat bonus.

what? you don't like it? then fuck off.

what? you don't want to stick around for at least 3 years to collect your bonus? hell, fuck off, and make it quick before i kick you in the nuts.

oh and that "regular" pay that's the industry average for a worker with say 20years of experience and a college degree. plus a sensible margin for give and take depending on the candidate.

what? you think you're special and deserve more than a average worker of 20years? fuck off douche bag. and make it really quick before i get my pit bull and he'll bite and rip your nuts off. then he'll lay them on the ground and piss on them[/rant]

there i feel much better now.

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