back to article Jacqui Smith 'shocked' to discover we're drowning in sea of porn

Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has professed herself "shocked" at the availability of porn on the internet after investigating the issue for a radio documentary. Which raises the question of what exactly she thought she was cracking down on during her time in charge of law and order. Smith famously left her job as Gordon …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    "I'm not naive. I know why men watch pornography"

    I know plenty of women who watch it too, including my girlfriend, my ex-wife, my flatmate...

    If she thinks it's just men, perhaps she *is* a touch naive after all...

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
      Flame

      And she knows why...

      ...because she asked her husband.

      Oh, and Jacqui - please fuck off back to your own planet some time very soon.

      1. Marvin the Martian
        Alien

        "Back to her own planet"?

        THAT would be "Planet Government"? No thanks!

    2. Jim 59

      Manufacture

      Could she tell us why (some) women are instrumental in the manufacture of pornography? And not just in front of the camera.

    3. CD001

      Exactly

      Exactly what I was thinking - there's at least one porn company owned/run by a woman that produces porn specifically tailored for women as well.

    4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Why do men watch porn? What do women want?

      Unanswered Questions of the Universe!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      It's whacky

      Why has her head grown enormous but her hair is perfectly average?

      And what was that pose on #bbctw last week? She didn't know what to do with her hands. She doesn't come off as cuddly, attractive, personable. That's why her husband sort the cool solace of one and zeros.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iADOrCEV82Q

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3NieBC4o7k

      She should have been retired and not somewhere nice.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Question Time?

      I would love to see a woman go on Question Time with the question:

      "Do women have the right to look at pornography?"

      They would accept it, the panel would squirm endlessly.

  2. zooooooom
    Paris Hilton

    Something of an achievement.....

    I didn't believe it was possible for her to have have reduced her credibility. But shes managed it.

    Paris - cause she knows about internet porn.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Defintitely an achievement

      It was my considered opinion that she didn't have any credibility left..

  3. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Not really awash with porn

    Since she did not discover any porn during her time in office, the claim of being awash with porn is completely unfounded.

    the equally useless Virginia Bottomley also claimed that european broadcasters were 'beaming a tide of pornography into our homes'

    Grow up Jacqui, you were completely unaware of any porn on the internet

    UNTIL YOU WENT AND LOOKED FOR IT !

    1. Shaun 1

      But

      The Internet was fine when she was in office. It's those nasty tories that are at fault!

    2. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: Not really awash

      My thoughts exactly. If it is only found when you go looking for it, can it really be considered a threat to those who don't want it, such as Home Secretaries? Seems to me that she has drawn precisely the wrong conclusion from her experiences. Still, she has a telly program to sell now, so perhaps *that* explains her new-found "shock".

    3. Graham Marsden
      Thumb Up

      @UNTIL YOU WENT AND LOOKED FOR IT !

      Ah, but you have to remember that it's just *knowing* that it's out there which is the problem!

      People like Wacky Jacqui simply *cannot* bear the idea of others looking at things they don't like, hence the desire to pass the legislation like the Dangerous Pictures and Dangerous Cartoons acts.

      It's laughable that she says "The internet service providers need to take more responsibility." err, no Jacqui it's *YOU* who needs to take more responsibility and understand that everyone else *also* needs to take responsibility for what they (or their children) look at. We don't need your Nanny State saying "We think this is bad for you, so *you* are not allowed to see it".

      1. Is it me?

        Sadly

        It's not just Jacqui but all politicians, in that and many other respects, and as we move to a more and more presidential style of politics, the more we will get one persons vision of what we can and cannot see and do, and the less our political representatives will have minds of their own.

        Be aware that Jacqui may have one view of the Nanny State, and Theresa has another, and that will always be true. When a politician rails against the Nanny State, it's only because it isn't theirs, be they Nick, David, or Milliband the younger.

        JC

  4. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Ah, so she's sexist too

    Quote: But she insisted, "I'm not naive. I know why men watch pornography. But I think greater availability on the internet is worrying, the way porn is seeping into the mainstream."

    Im afraid naive is exactly what you are, Jaqui, because you still apparently believe that only men watch pornography. I know its difficult for your "innocent" brain to comprehend, but sometimes, women enjoy pornography, and even sex, too. I know, crazy isnt it.

  5. Naughtyhorse

    news?

    politician reveals themself to not be living in real world!

    no story here, move along

  6. John Sturdy

    More evidence of how far from this planet MPs are

    How does someone so far out of touch with reality get into a position of such power in a supposedly representative democracy?

    Or is there really such a large pool of such naive people, that it is in fact representative for some of them to get into government?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Okay, and reading the other comments as well

      I have to say she's not 'naive', or stupid or whatever. She's lying. She's drumming up Mental Minority support, just like she always did, the bent politician's stock in trade, as she tries to get back to some or other position of power and money.

      1. Jimbo 6

        'Naive'

        ...I *can* believe.

        "Innocent" ? We'll let the jury decide on that (the jury armed with pitchforks and flaming torches, that is)

  7. James Hughes 1

    Drowning in a sea of porn

    I can think of worse ways to go.....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      or, indeed, to come.

      I'll get my dirty mac.

  8. Pinkerton
    Unhappy

    Bloody woman.

    I thought she'd gone for good.

  9. seanj
    Flame

    Smith...

    Jaqcui Smith is a nobody, a has-been - a barely has-been at that. Why anyone would give airtime to this hypocritical, thieving waste of taxpayer's money (not to mention waste of air, carbon and space) is beyond me.

    Flames - fire pits are what's needed, fire pits with heat exchangers that will keep children from disadvantaged families warm in winter. She always harped on about "thinking of the children", well now she can make a real difference.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      1+1=4

      If she's looking for filth online, and thinking of the children - can't we get her locked up under one of her own 1+1=4 laws? I mean it stands to reason.

      Anon because my tin-foil hat is at the dry cleaners

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        She is in violation of her own laws.

        Under Ms Smith, domestic violence was redefined to include giving your spouse verbal abuse. She confessed on television that she had verbally abused her hubby over porngate.

  10. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Taxing times

    The giveaway in the article is NOT that she was shocked by the amount of porn ...

    > And so much of it for absolutely no cost at all.

    There we have it. She was really disgusted that the government had allowed this to continue without carving themselves a slice of the tax revenue.

    1. asiaseen

      Nah

      She's pissed off because her husband paid for it.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        @nah

        she's actually pissed off because SHE had to pay for it, after her expenses claim was rejected.

        1. There's a bee in my bot net

          RE (untitled)

          I think you mean she's actually pissed off because we paid for it on her behalf and then she got found out and we were angry...

        2. Dino
          Happy

          @nah@nah

          Nah she's just pissed... no other explanation.. she's flat out drunk.. - permanently inebriated ..

  11. Jacqui

    I smell

    a pork barrel. I wonder which net filter provider has offered her a directorship or large bung to go there and "think of the children".

    I suspect she was shocked there was so much MONEY involved and she was not getting any of it.

  12. envmod

    jesus christ

    what a complete fucking twat,

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      i commend you

      on your efficient yet precise use of words

      PS my porn isn't free, i do have an ISP to pay. Mind you, it's good value.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Paris Hilton

        What?

        You mean you don't download your porn on your neighbour's WiFi like everybody else does?

        Paris, what unencrypted WiFi was invented for

  13. Jedibeeftrix

    The authoritarian tendencies of Labour

    ""The internet service providers need to take more responsibility. I don't agree with the argument that if we restrict anything available on the internet we'll turn into China.""

    The authoritarian tendencies of Labour stand out markedly from the libertarian bent of the coalition, and given how unpopular all the big-state nannying is has the potential to utterly bury them at the next election.

  14. Jason Hall

    Isn't she in prison yet?

    Hehehe.

    I came here to rant about this idiotic thief.

    I see my work is done for me :)

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The words...

    ..."seeping into the mainstream", when said by Wacky Jacqui, in association with porn, make me feel a little bit dirty.

  16. Annihilator
    Paris Hilton

    Hang on a minute, hang on...

    "Smith's documentary will be broadcast on Radio 5 Live on Thursday"

    Radio 5 Live? You mean w@nking is a sport now??

    1. Pete 2 Silver badge

      A different sport

      No, but talking b@@@@@@cks is. Sadly we didn't decide that in time to get it into the olympics (we already have a world-class stadium for it, too). If we had, we'd have won gold, silver and bronze in every possible combination of the event: Mens, Womens, mixed, team events, short-distance, long-distance and relay. Not forgetting long b@@@@@cls, high b@@@@@cks, pole-b@@@@@cks and triple b@@@@@@@cls(!!!) too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        5 Live

        It's on 5 Live because in Jaqui Smith's world all men who like porn also follow the sporting news.

  17. James O'Shea
    Paris Hilton

    She's done the impossible

    She's gone and made a statement so stupid that not even Sarah the pit bull bitch/mama grizzly/whatever vicious blood-swiling animal she fantasizes about next would utter it. And Sarah is the current Gold Standard for political idiocy on this side of the Atlantic, eclipsing by a significant margin both GW Bush and Dan 'Potatoe' Quayle. Combined. Jacqui has zoomed right past all other possible claimants to the throne, including Christine 'the witch' O'Donnell. (Who, for the record, must have been adopted. No Irish lass could ever be _that_ stupid, not even when blind staggering drunk.)

    Congratulations, Jacqui. Once again Britannia rules.

    Paris, 'cause even Paris has more sense.

  18. Amir Shah

    Getting rid of porn

    Ok let's say by some miracle they get rid of all the porn then what? there would only be one website left called bring back the porn!

    1. richard 7

      The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

      You watch Scrubs too :P

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

        Yep, you should always cite your sources.

        1. Gwaptiva

          Surely only quote sources

          if you want to become (self-)defence minister of a major European country

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Badgers

      re: one website left called bring back the porn!

      There will be more than one of those websites buddy.

  19. The Alpha Klutz
    Alert

    "the way porn is seeping into the mainstream."

    I find that shocking too, the way advertisers use sex to sell their trashy products.

    Or the way in which trashy shows shamelessly use sex appeal to get people sat in front of the TV watching those adverts.

    "I don't agree with the argument that if we restrict anything available on the internet we'll turn into China."

    Why is everything measured in terms of China or Hitler? Because you're not-quite-Hitler(TM) yet it's okay. I have a strange idea: why don't you forget about China for two seconds and start thinking about Britain? You know, freedom and all that shit? Some of us know people who died for it.

    1. Kwac
      Big Brother

      Good idea?

      To be added to El Reg's measures - the Hitler and or the China.

      China = 1C, UK = 0.9C

      Hitler = 1H, The Boy Dave = .8H

    2. serviceWithASmile
      Thumb Up

      goodwin's law

      I call it

      someone should tell jackboots about it.

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