Latvian cops cuffed a 27-year-old man on Saturday for allegedly popping a cap in a fellow cinemagoer for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan. According to a report by local news agency Leta, regurgitated in the Guardian, the 42-year-old victim died of wounds sustained during a screening of the …
I dont need no stinkin title
After the wife made me watch Black Swan I would have welcomed someone to have shot me and put me out of my misery!
popcorn and snacks
and noisy teenagers that can't shut up through a movie...
are the main reasons I hardly ever go to the cinema anymore.. yes its nice having a huge screen and big dolby digital surround sound.. but I prefer being able to curl up on the sofa with my mrs and not have to put up with the local teens chatting amongst themselves and making a racket while I watch a movie..
not to mention the fact that its almost a TENNER a pop nowadays..
I guess if I moved out to a posh area maybe it wouldn't be so bad
plus the fact that despite paying the best part of ten quid, there are 20 minutes of adverts to sit through before the movie actually starts.. of course I could show up 20 minutes later but then run the risk of having to sit right at the front in the corner..
my sofa on the other hand is always placed in optimum viewing position for my tv, and the movie starts exactly when I want
I seldom go to the cinema for much the same reason. However I've found the perfect way to do it. If there's something I *really* want to see and think will be good on the big screen, I take a day off work and go by myself in the early afternoon. As long as it's not half-term, you pretty much get the screen to yourself, it's off-peak so usually cheaper and no kids - utter bliss!
Still most good films are just as watchable at home. The exceptions are the big blockbusters/CGI-a-thons where it pays to be immersed in the action. Example - last film I saw in cinema (on my own, place to myself) was the Star Trek reboot.
Sorry to disabuse you, but posh kids can't behave themselves in cinemas either.
While we're busy popping caps into people, can we save a few rounds for the dense ones who can't follow the plot and have to keep asking their partner (in a loud whisper) where this bloke came from, who's he then, I reckon he's the murderer, etc?
Add to this
the ear-bleeding sound levels that will make a four engine 747 at take-off sound like a whisper. I guess this is to ensure your safety by preventing you to hear the noise of popcorn crunching your teenager neighbor produces.
@popcorn and snacks
I couldn't agree more, but you can still have the decent sound and big screen. I recently purchased an HD projector and surround sound.
Providing you can wait a little longer to rent the movie, it's a much nicer experience.
I added a new word to my "word bank" today. Thanks, bootnotes!
What we need here is a Countdown-style Filth-O-Tron to turn terpsichorean into some hideous term of abuse which can then be used to traumatise some wide-eyed kiddie and get us a bit of coverage in the Sun.
That's two! :-P
Countdown has a Filth-O-Tron now? Gosh, it really did go downhill after Richard Whitely passed..
I can make "corner ape sh*t".
A bit convoluted for abuse but surely worthy of a few lines in a red-top?
Re: Re: Terpsichorean
I thought Lester was already using one of those?
Paris because she thought so too
Dunno about "terpsichorean"...
...but judicious use of "niggardly" and/or "pedagogy" might do the trick.
I'll set 'em up, you knock 'em down. :)
"word bank" was a subtle reference to another bootnotes story from the last couple of weeks.
He sounds more like a graduate of Police Academy - specifically Eugene Tackleberry. Shoot first, no-questions later !
(Jesus, I can remember that after all these years...)
perhaps excessive but...
Excessive to continue munching so loud it spoilt the film, but good on the other guy for fixing the problem permanently.
There really is no need to be offensive.
I'd give the guy a job at our local fleapit
- he could take out the mobile phone users and smokers for me.
Mind you he'd need a large ammo box.
The girlfriend wants me to go with her to Black Swan. Just how hot is the chick on chick stuff?
Chick on chick stuff
Not that impressive in Black Swan - Chloe's much better for that and I'd say has the better, if more conventional, narrative. Black Swan is a bit of a film buff's film with some nice quotes, blurring of subjective and diegetic and, of course it has Natalie Portman in it. Want to borrow my copy of Natalie Portman Watches Paint Dry? The ballet stuff shows just how barbaric the practice is - the sooner it's banned the better!
The Phantom Menace
Oh come, it's not her fault: imagine... it's the end of the 90's... you're trying to build an adult film career... the top man from one of the biggest movie franchise ever calls and asks you to be in his newly-relaunched trilogy... what DO YOU SAY??
A shame all of them got so royally let down by his George-ness :-(
"only if I can get Keira Knightley to be my decoy"
Didn't he know there are rules?
Nothing about "atramental anatids"? I'm disappointed.
Well played Sir!
Terpsichorean...Word of the Week.
My favorite (and only) other time I've heard this is Messers Python and the cheese shop. A frankly astoundingly funny skit..
You can turn Terpsichorean into Sharp Erection. Not quite in the same class as shitheads, but...
It's not bad, though, is it?
... Terpsichorean ecdysiasts as featured in the M*A*S*H books ;-)
The owner of the Cheese shop go shot as well.
Doesn't make the slightest difference to our lives
20 comments so far and nothing but cheap jokes.
This man is dead, and the crime did not deserve the time.
Listen, bud, i weep for every fallen sparrow, but the only way to stay sane in this goddam world is to put some distance between me and the pain of others by laughing at it, ok?
"We have no information on the flavour of the crisps"?
Yet another example of half-arsed Reg reporting!
Re: "We have no information on the flavour of the crisps"?
I know - standards are slipping. Sea urchin and guava or hedgehog and sun-dried tomato? Alas, we may never know...
Walkers Roast Chicken and 9[mm]?
That update changes things quite dramatically...
Forgive me, but this feels tasteless in the extreme. A man asks another cinema goer to eat their food more quietly and is shot dead for it and all you can do is make cheap jokes? Just because they're foreign doesn't mean their death is any less serious or tragic...
Shot front of his daughter
Most dramatic is that 42 yr old man was shot front of his 14 yrs old daughter. And another 3 kids will without father. :(
I seem to recall that on this planet, there are about 1.8 deaths per second...
They are pretty much all serious, and the majority are tragedies for those closely involved. I invite you to spend the rest of your life sitting in the serous corner weeping while thinking of this endless litany of woe.
The rest of the human race will continue finding what laughs it can.
In before "only in America"
Latvia is somewhere near Alabama, right?
The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.
Mental bastard on the loose is carrying a weapon where it's not even allowed, shoots a father of four. Well, well. We're gaining an incredible international fame by all the crap that's happening around lately. Hey, 1-up, my fellow citizens, we're doing real good! Uh-oh...
Associated Press picked up this story
and gave credit to The Guardian (as expected) but also gave credit to el Reg for the clarification. Must be someone at AP who is either a techno-junkie or just knows good reporting when s/he sees it.
a graduate of the police academy
How the hell did he passed the psychiatric test ? Sir can you stop eating so loudly . Bang F U. I'll eat as loud as I want.
The only reason for going to the cinema these days is if you want to catch a bout of flu, or whatever other bug it is they are giving away this week.
The films are in the main, pretty poor IMHO, and certainly not worth the cost, effort, time.
It’s amusing if the guy eating the crisps gets shot (as originally reported) but tragic if the complainer does, as we now know.
At least the surviving members of the audience managed to hold onto the little weasel - let’s hope he gets to share a cell with a fellow homicidal maniac who finds him strangely attractive, in a ‘terpsichorean’ sort of way (see earlier anagram).
it is a tragedy!!!
the worst part of this tragedy is that he was shot in front of his daughter. how is it possible, that no one mentions this FACT!
the criminal has got doctorate and a lawyer degree. the rumour has it, that the shooter actually fired THREE shots it the victims chest. some scary stuff indeed!
/PS: I speak Latvian.../
" What we need here is a Countdown-style Filth-O-Tron to turn terpsichorean into some hideous term of abuse "
sore chin taper, hear nice sport, share nice port, iposh canterer, tire near chops, seer point char, o trench i rapes, hie ports nacre, pets near choir and so forth. For the perp whilst serving Bubba of B Block Tan Spire Chore might fit the crime best.
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