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back to article NO-SH*T CURE FOR BALDNESS discovered by accident

Boffins in California who were trying to deal with problems of stress in combat veterans say they may have accidentally found a cure for baldness. For now, the miracle drug is known to work only on experimental mice genetically engineered to go bald early, but there is apparently every prospect it will benefit humans too. "Our …

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Coat

Million Mulugeta?

Sounds like a great name for a super villain.

Does he plan to hold the world to ransom with his hair regrowth technology?

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Stop

baldness is not normally a disease

With a few exceptions baldness does not need a 'cure' since it is not a disease. It's simply a part of the natural evolution of the human body and humanity in general to be less 'hairy' Chimps -> us.

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Def
Bronze badge

Re: baldness is not normally a disease

Nobody claimed it was.

Cure: n. a means of correcting or relieving anything that is troublesome or detrimental

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Gold badge
Happy

Re: baldness is not normally a disease

Neither is erectile dysfunction, but viagra sells well.

Do not under-estimate the purchasing power of men (or their partners) looking to recapture the glories of youth.

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El
Jobs Halo

Translation

Don not underestimate the purchasing power of men trying to get laid!

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Stop

Obviously someone with a full head of a hair

F**k sorting out cancer and the cold, this is the SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Coffee/keyboard

...chronically stressed mutant mice

I for one welcome our chronically stressed mutant mice overlords!

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hmm

could grow few dreadlocks on my back with this to look like an ancient creature

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Joke

Cure boldness or look like a troglodyte?

It will be interesting how they manage to control it.

Though some people would probably like with little or no control anyway so they have the looks to fit their ego.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=dailymash+putin&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

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Coat

boldness?

I thought the cure for that was war.

That usually gets any boldness genes out of the breeding population really quickly....

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Gav
Boffin

That's not a sweater...

Read what the article says people! "expecting to easily separate their stressed mice by looking for **hairless backs**".

If you wish a hairy back then this is the drug for you. Ain't nothing promised for your folically free bonce.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That's not a sweater..

I can just comb my back hair over my head. Problem solved.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re:

"I can just comb my back hair over my head. Problem solved."

<--- Icon. 'nuff said.

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Anonymous Coward

too bloody late

At this rate there is going to be hundreds of millions of old giffers moving in slow motion with their zimmer frames flicking robert plant hairdoes as they go.

I dont know wether to laugh or cry.

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Silver badge

I know what will happen

the drug will be suppressed by wig makers and hair transplant clinics so they can carry on grabbing money from us poor baldies

now wheres my tin foil hat... my bald patch is getting cold

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Coat

"he drug will be suppressed by wig makers and hair transplant clinics "

F.A.S.T.

Federation Against Slaphead Treatments.

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Go

Lt. Col. Kojak Slaphead III (Bald Brummies Against The Big-Footed Conspiracy Party)

Headslapping!

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Paris Hilton

Sooo....

...how long before the V1agra bunch start touting this?

Paris 'cos, well, erm I wonder if she knows anything about a particualr form of baldness?

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Unhappy

When the cure for baldness finally comes

It won't be cheap. The problem we'll have then is that baldness will become a sign of poverty and will become more of a turn-off than it is today.

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Baldness

Or, of course, the sign of a confident individual.

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CT

Hair on mices' backs -> human heads?

Or will the this just cause any remaining hair in humans to grow, like those annoying bristles coming down your nose and out of your ears?

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Alternatively

It will give every man worried about their attractiveness to women a full head of hair and a lovely hairy back.

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FAIL

You know nothing

The sad fact is that many men with no hair on their head already have luxuriant growths on their back - nature's double whammy.

And I just bought a .me domain touting referring to my baldness (but not my hairy back) as my personal website. So if this drug works and takes off I will be faced with a renaming job in a few years.

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Happy

Don't want mine back....

...saves a fortune in haircuts and shampoo :-)

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SHAMpoo?

Hey, I got money. I can afford REAL poo.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Don't want mine back

I salute my fellow chrome domed A/C...

Solar panel for a sex machine!

Now where's the fecking sun gone? It's cold!

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Silver badge

Just stay away from the pool table

You might get confused with a cue ball and end up with little round blue chalk marks on your head.

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this is a title

So to hide my dome, I cover my head with hairy mice. Have I got that right?

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Only if

You are Paul Daniels

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Joke

@Mike 140

Don't say it!

You'll have Elton John wandering around with his ears full of mouse piss.....

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Joke

Mouse piss

Well, that will make a change as it's usually coming out of his mouth...

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One small issue

This may be a cure for stress-related baldness, but what proportion is that? Us slapheads with too much testosterone won't benefit at all. I'm not sure I would want Robert Plant's youthful locks anyway - too much like hard work to maintain.

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Anonymous Coward

Too much testosterone

Is that whay baldies are so angry with the likes of me and my lovely locks?

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Coat

Hey, you! Over there!

What's it like to have no hair?

Is it hot or is it cold?

I don't know, coz I'm not bald!

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I've not heard that one for AGES.

THE mid-eighties post-haircut playground taunt of choice.

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Anonymous Coward

Nah!

I'd still clipper it all back. Looks much better than fairy hair-do's on a man.

Just step outside and your surrounded by 'men' with dodgy hair* and they all look the same no matter how much they try to express their individuality.

(*and usually flashing their arses or just forgetting to wear a belt)

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re-grow your hair, chaps

Because you don't want to signal to the ladies that you got given a double-dip of testosterone at conception, eh?

Baldness is oneof those male-pecking-order problems, I think. I don't know a single straight woman who doesn't see it as the sign of a manly man. Maybe I hang out in the wrong circles.

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Thumb Down

But...

Who would wants a head covered with Soft Grey Fur?

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Unhappy

Medical Patents

During research stage, before patent

"Our findings show that a short-duration treatment with this compound causes an astounding long-term hair regrowth in chronically stressed mutant mice,"

After Patent granted and $$ appear in the eyes of the patent holders/controllers:

"Our findings show that a *regular/daily* treatment with this compound causes an astounding but short-term hair regrowth in chronically stressed mutant mice, that keep paying $$/dose."

There fixed it for you.

Its well documented that the cure for baldness will make more money than the cure for cancer...

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Cure for baldness

I'll believe it when I see it; which probably won't be in my life time.

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Silver badge

Or maybe...

"Imagine the boffins' surprise, then, when it turned out that all their bald mice had grown hair again and could not be told apart from the others any longer."

Sounds like somebody's mother accidentally killed them whilst the boffins were away, and replaced them... "They'll never notice" she was heard to say...

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Ironically

The Salk Institute will probably become richer and better known through this discovery than it was for developing the cure for polio.

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Oh my God, who outside of bald guys even cares?

I'd much rather they carry on to find a reliable treatment for things like irritable bowel syndrome, which I assume from "gut problems related to stress" is more or less what they were after, than be satisfied with another palliative for old white guys' egos.

I mean seriously. Who ever ended up with ulcerative colitis or had to have half their large bowel removed because their hair fell out?

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Chill...

Viagra was discovered by accident when trying to treat heart conditions, and a good commercial pharmaceutical goes a long way to covering the research costs of the whole lab. A little blue pill for baldness will be pricey, because it's cosmetic, and will help keep the costs of real medicine down.

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Pint

Already solved

I've been stapling mice to my head for years. Works great however you don't have many friends.

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even better ...

How about a pill FOR baldness?

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I'm with you on that one

I often wetshave my bonce, nice smooth scalp, lovely feeling.

But it's such a CHORE, gimme a cure for hair!

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Silver badge

Baldness has a evolutionary function

in revealing the incredible intelligence of those who can actually notice it in others and enunciate then fact to let those of us with lower observational and social skills avoid evenings of thrilling monosyllabic banter while waiting agog for the next revolutionary biological discovery.

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Go

Sold !

I'll buy it.

Hell, I'll even camp out in front of the store, so I'll be first in line the next day. Can't risk them selling out, can I ?

Go - because that's what I'll do when it becomes available.

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Pint

Well...

..rugger me up!

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