Feeds

back to article Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke

A shaken Oz stag party reveller has recounted how he was left "battered and bloodied" after taking a head shot from a flying dildo. According to this very silly report, 31-year-old Darwin architect Jure Skumavc joined groom-to-be Peter Rolih and around eight other pals in a Brisbane pad on 28 December for the traditional pre- …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Silver badge
Heart

Knob Head?

as per title

1
0
Paris Hilton

An anagram for a name?

..."vacuum jerks"

Did he ever consider that the blood may not have been his own? Most dildos don't have sharp edges.

3
0
Pint

Could have been worse ...

"Most dildos don't have sharp edges."

Wasn'tt the Rev Shayne stabbed to death with a dildo in Crimes of Passion?

0
0
Pint

Reminds me of Priscilla, QotD

Anyone remember the lady with the ping-pong balls in the Bush bar in Priscilla QotD?

Sounds like she's got a much more wild sister -- game on. As I'm heading up organising a stag do in a few weeks could I have contact details please El Reg so we can book her...

0
0
Silver badge
FAIL

Im sorry but...

... why on earth would you go to the press with this story? Are you that desperate for publicity that you really want to me known throughout the world and interwebs as the guy who got battered by a flying dildo?

Honestly i will never understand people...

1
1
g e
Silver badge

More likely

the a mate Farcebooked it there n then and the media 'received word' of said event :o)

I'd Farcebook that immediately complete with snap!

1
1
Anonymous Coward

Priceless...

just, priceless!

0
0
Terminator

Revenge of Sadville??

Cut your internet pipe (no double-entendre intended...*ahem*) - Sadville is invading Earth, it's just as it was predicted in Doom! Only with more cocks...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/20/sadville_flyers/

1
0

BOOM!! Headshot!

I'm gobsmacked!

1
0
Thumb Up

Boom! headshot? Surely that would be Womb! headshot!

Standing on the shoulders of giants.

2
0
Thumb Up

7m - wow!

Now that is impressive!

2
0
Anonymous Coward

Fair play

He didn't whinge and threaten to tell his mum/lawyer.

5
0

normal mate

He's from Darwin... proper Australians.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

7 metres?

Pictures or it didn..... never mind.

2
0
Joke

Clue is in the location.

"Darwin" - says it all really.

0
0

Playmobil reconstruction

Please!

2
0
FAIL

Reminds me of the infamous

incident with Kasparov and the amusingly shaped model helicopter at that press conference.

AC, or should that be Ack?

0
0
IT Angle

Disappointed in El Reg

Yes, yes, it's in Bootnotes, but this sort of story should be reserved for Fridays.

Unless there's a Playmobil reconstruction :)

0
1
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Disappointed in El Reg

Well, it should just serve to remind you how far away Friday is. I have to suffer all week, I don't see why you should get away with it.

Happy Monday!

6
0
Silver badge
Go

Why wait for Friday?

I was amply reminded all week long that today was the very-romantic-and-not-a-commercial-stunt known as Valentine's day. So this story seems quite appropriate, in "an awkward sort of angle", as the bloke put it.

0
0
Coat

Viscount

Happy Monday indeed. You're twisting my melon, Mod.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Punkbuster...

I call aimbot on this. Everyone knows that a headshot with a dildo from 7 metres is impossible. Damned h4x0r!!!!11!eleven!!

3
0

The Honeymooners

POW! Right in da kisser!

1
0

He was lucky

it wasn't a Bangkok girl playing darts.

0
0
Coat

Training?

There must be a school in Oz that trains these ladies in the mystical martial art of hands free projectile motion. I wonder if they conduct tours...

0
0
Happy

Could this be used as another Register unit of measurement?

Speed of a dildo in flight perhaps?

0
0
Thumb Up

NEW Science of ...

DILDONICS !!

1
0
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

or a not-so-new science

TELEdildonics. Since the meat substitute in question was, in fact, fired from across the room this would qualify as teledildonics, would it not?

0
0
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

insufficiently humiliating?

"As regards the velocity of the 'darting dildo', Skumavc noted: 'It wasn't a strong shot. It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.' "

Let's see, which one to use first...

"Being hit in the forehead with a plastic prick isn't awkward enough, so you have to bring geometry into it?"

or

"The Angle of the Dangle is proportional..."

2
0
Coat

Dare I ask?

How, exactly, was she "shooting dildos at the guests"?

0
0
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Paris...

...because you need the right catcher...

0
0
WTF?

"I wonder if they conduct tours?"

Tours of what? I doubt there would be room for you and a guide. It's not going to be Wookey Hole.

0
0

No frickin title

They sell *twelve* *centimetre* dildos in Australia? Que??

And if, like me, you have no idea what this is about, here's the clip from Priscilla. I still don't believe it, though. Possibly NSFW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDu9gbuKpKc

0
0
Joke

Watch your units...

Since it is a dildo, 12 centimeters wouldn't qualify for damage, unless this dancer has l33t skillz that I'd like on my girlfriend to propel such *dart* at reasonably damaging speeds, or the instrument was made of solid steel. On other hand, (no pun intended) 12 INCHES....

The only unanswered question, really, was this actually his blood...

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.