A shaken Oz stag party reveller has recounted how he was left "battered and bloodied" after taking a head shot from a flying dildo. According to this very silly report, 31-year-old Darwin architect Jure Skumavc joined groom-to-be Peter Rolih and around eight other pals in a Brisbane pad on 28 December for the traditional pre- …
as per title
An anagram for a name?
Did he ever consider that the blood may not have been his own? Most dildos don't have sharp edges.
Could have been worse ...
"Most dildos don't have sharp edges."
Wasn'tt the Rev Shayne stabbed to death with a dildo in Crimes of Passion?
Reminds me of Priscilla, QotD
Anyone remember the lady with the ping-pong balls in the Bush bar in Priscilla QotD?
Sounds like she's got a much more wild sister -- game on. As I'm heading up organising a stag do in a few weeks could I have contact details please El Reg so we can book her...
Im sorry but...
... why on earth would you go to the press with this story? Are you that desperate for publicity that you really want to me known throughout the world and interwebs as the guy who got battered by a flying dildo?
Honestly i will never understand people...
the a mate Farcebooked it there n then and the media 'received word' of said event :o)
I'd Farcebook that immediately complete with snap!
Revenge of Sadville??
Cut your internet pipe (no double-entendre intended...*ahem*) - Sadville is invading Earth, it's just as it was predicted in Doom! Only with more cocks...
Boom! headshot? Surely that would be Womb! headshot!
Standing on the shoulders of giants.
7m - wow!
Now that is impressive!
He didn't whinge and threaten to tell his mum/lawyer.
He's from Darwin... proper Australians.
Pictures or it didn..... never mind.
Clue is in the location.
"Darwin" - says it all really.
Reminds me of the infamous
incident with Kasparov and the amusingly shaped model helicopter at that press conference.
AC, or should that be Ack?
Disappointed in El Reg
Yes, yes, it's in Bootnotes, but this sort of story should be reserved for Fridays.
Unless there's a Playmobil reconstruction :)
Re: Disappointed in El Reg
Well, it should just serve to remind you how far away Friday is. I have to suffer all week, I don't see why you should get away with it.
Why wait for Friday?
I was amply reminded all week long that today was the very-romantic-and-not-a-commercial-stunt known as Valentine's day. So this story seems quite appropriate, in "an awkward sort of angle", as the bloke put it.
Happy Monday indeed. You're twisting my melon, Mod.
I call aimbot on this. Everyone knows that a headshot with a dildo from 7 metres is impossible. Damned h4x0r!!!!11!eleven!!
POW! Right in da kisser!
He was lucky
it wasn't a Bangkok girl playing darts.
There must be a school in Oz that trains these ladies in the mystical martial art of hands free projectile motion. I wonder if they conduct tours...
Could this be used as another Register unit of measurement?
Speed of a dildo in flight perhaps?
NEW Science of ...
or a not-so-new science
TELEdildonics. Since the meat substitute in question was, in fact, fired from across the room this would qualify as teledildonics, would it not?
"As regards the velocity of the 'darting dildo', Skumavc noted: 'It wasn't a strong shot. It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.' "
Let's see, which one to use first...
"Being hit in the forehead with a plastic prick isn't awkward enough, so you have to bring geometry into it?"
"The Angle of the Dangle is proportional..."
Dare I ask?
How, exactly, was she "shooting dildos at the guests"?
...because you need the right catcher...
"I wonder if they conduct tours?"
Tours of what? I doubt there would be room for you and a guide. It's not going to be Wookey Hole.
No frickin title
They sell *twelve* *centimetre* dildos in Australia? Que??
And if, like me, you have no idea what this is about, here's the clip from Priscilla. I still don't believe it, though. Possibly NSFW.
Watch your units...
Since it is a dildo, 12 centimeters wouldn't qualify for damage, unless this dancer has l33t skillz that I'd like on my girlfriend to propel such *dart* at reasonably damaging speeds, or the instrument was made of solid steel. On other hand, (no pun intended) 12 INCHES....
The only unanswered question, really, was this actually his blood...