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back to article Channel Five reborn as Channel Five

Channel Five will as of today be known as Channel Five, or rather, Channel Five has regained the "Channel" it lost when it decided that "Five" was a more happening moniker for a TV station. The Channel Five logos before and after Five years after its 1997 launch*, Channel Five spunked not inconsiderable amounts of cash to …

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Happy

Ooooo goodie

Now if they can just increase the program to advert ratio to something above 10% then I might even consider watching it.

Oh hang on though; the programs are STILL crap, so no, I still won't be watching it.

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Adverts?

Do people still watch live TV then? I'd go mad if I had to watch all the adverts.

Thank doG for Hummys. PVRs FTW!

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Paris Hilton

@Graham S

Hummys? Sounds like something Paris would issue.

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IT Angle

Five News?

I hope we don't get the sentiments of Desmond's hate-rag the Star echoed on Five News.

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You seem to think

That Five News can get worse!

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Five has news????

It's a little known fact but the televisual car crash that is 'Live from Studio Five' is classified as part of Five's news broadcasting. For anyone who's missed it, or has blindingly fast reactions with a remote; it makes 'The One Show' look like 'Newsnight'.

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When I read the phraseology of the comments

of the people who hate it on the linked website then my opinion changes from "Who gives a damn" to "if it annoys people who think like that maybe its got *something* going for it"

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Unhappy

Hate?

The hate comes from the Star which invents and inflates stories to attack and/or degrade anything Muslim.

The hate feeds the EDL and feeds them lies that in turn feeds their racism.

Desmond owns the Daily Express which is a pillar of modesty and what is right. At the same time Desmond owns several websites and publications that encourage misogyny through 'porn.

If you like it -- I can only pity you.

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Stop

I refuse to enoble a simple forum post!

@elmer phud...

I dunno whether to be impressed by your ability to bring race into a discussion about the relative virtues of two logos that have only the word "Channel" to distiguish them or to think that perhaps you should maybe take a stroll in the fresh air occassionally and then perhaps you'd realise the world isn't always quite as black as you seem to paint it.

Option 2 I think.

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Logos

doesn't matter - what's important is not the fluffy bits but the person that owns the station and the newspapers.

Getting hung on up on the fluffy bits is exactly what is preferred these days - never mind the quality, here's the bollocks.

Nice to see you've been pwnd.

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Coat

I prefer 'Chanel 9'

Buono estente

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Coat

Scorchio!

eth eth eth, Chris Waddle.

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Anonymous Coward

Fiver? Five USA

It'll be "interesting" to see what they do with their other freeview channels in the light of this.

Channel 5er doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

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Go

"Desmond announced the channel would be going back its roots"

I for one welcome the return our late night smut puddling overlords.

...

I really wish I'd not stumbled in on the old man watching that back in t'day.

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Smut Puddling?

I think you meant smut peddling, but smut puddling is way better!

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RE: Smut Puddling?

D'oh!

I was, erm, attempting to keep my post in line with the best tradition's of El Reg -- by leaving in assorted spelling and grammatical errors that a simple proof reading would have easily identified.

My story; sticking to it.

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Is it just me...?

Is it just me or does that logo look like non-descript "Channel 5 News" logos from a million and one US "TV movies"...?

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Coat

Call me crazy

I don't believe that changing the name / logo will make a ha'porth of difference.

However, I would suggest that the quality and type of programming being broadcast might be more of an issue for most people.

We seem to see nothing but a flood of glossy US imports, poor plotlines, rubbish scripts, second rate acting, remakes of 50s / 60s programmes that were shite then and are still just as bad, meaningless quiz shows or "reality" shows about pathetic c list celebs. It would be nice to occasionally see something with a bit more intellectual meat

Mine's the one with "Miserable old Fart" on the back in studs.

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Re: "reality" shows about pathetic c list celebs

I for one can't get enough of "Super-Mega-Extreme Celebrity Cooking/Cleaning/Sitting Down/Picking Their Noses"

What's wrong with you man? Don't you appreciate modern culture?!!

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Heart

Funnest response EVA

LOL

ROFLMFAO

KIWMCACWMB innit

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Channel 5

I look forward to a return to Channel 5's roots, including late-night soft porn films. I'm sure the Dirty Digger will be able to facilitate that.

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Paris Hilton

Digger Des?

I think you may have confused your smut peddling press barons. I recommend you renew your Private Eye subscription.

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Quality slippage

I noticed the quality slipping even further than I thought possible after the Dirty Desmond takeover, when a recent documentary had a misspelling in the title bracketing the ad breaks.

(I know that means I've admitted to watching a Channel Five programme).

Flicking through the channels over the weekend, I was also amused to see C5 trailing an "all new" episode of Law And Order. Originally broadcast in 2006.

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WTF?

I saw that as well...

"Secrets of The Vanashing Sphinx" - right there between ad-breaks plain as day.

Thought it was odd at the time - is our education system THAT BAD that the person typing up the ident did not realise?

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Oh no

Do we have to re-tune our videos again ???

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Stop

Double Standards?

On the one hand we have the well known (and entirely correct) Reg hatred all things whale song inspired. On the other we have the we-ran-it-up-the-flag-pole-and-no-one-saluted judgementalism of the 'vox pop' comments.

Who cares what people think of the logo. Put on decent programs and people will watch. Put on crap and they won't. Having the latest 'branding' that makes the target demographic feel 'warm and fuzzy' won't change that.

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Happy

Ah

Dirty Desmond, the psycho smut-peddler of old London town!

I think I last watched the channel around 5 years ago, it was iffy then so I doubt it has got any better since. He saved money sacking everyone and probably coughed up the same amount "rebranding" the station, all those brainstorming sessions and lunches at Satchi to come up with one extra word in the name, don't come cheap!

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Anonymous Coward

@ShaggyDoggy

... do we have a video?

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@ AC

Yes, and you owe me 500 quid.

Harry the Bastard.

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Of all the free channels,

Why couldn't this have been the one sold to Murdoch and shut down?

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what adverts??

Adverts you say? Not watched an advert on "Channel Five" for a while, I do enjoy a good CSI/CSI:NY/NCIS

- MythTV User with commerial skipping!

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Pirate

@HansG

Adverts you say? SD you say? 4 months later you say?

Or alternatively get them from the US, at 720p, with the adverts pre-clipped, 4 months early.

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Coat

Wrong section?

Why isn't this in "Channel Register"?

/coat

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'cos Editorial staff otherwise occupied

Too busy checking crap stories about helicopters and cars that have no place here at all. Trying to impress Murdoch?

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Paris Hilton

Going back to its roots?

So does that mean they're going back to showing low-rent softcore porn on Friday nights? Ah, the good old days! :)

Paris - speaking of low-rent porn...

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Paris Hilton

Xena

Bring her back!

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Idents are unneccesary

Why oh why can't the ident visibility be left to the set-top-box? Then the consumer can be given the choice of enbling or disabling them, or enabling with control over the alpha so we can protect our expensive high end Kuro plasmas from burn in from this sort of visual poo.

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Idents are unneccesary

I think you're confused by all this telly talk.

Idents are the bits just before the programmes, used to identify the channel.

The annoying logos in the corner of the screen are DOGs (digitally originated graphics). It seems to have become a tradition now that whenever a broadcaster changes their DOG, they have to ramp the brightness up for a week or so then put it back to the normal level.

And as for letting the box generate it, many set-top-boxes can't render alpha levels in images over video, and if you could turn it off completely the marketing people would have panic attacks at the thought that you might not instantly know what channel you're watching should you want to know.

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There might be some truth in that

>And as for letting the box generate it, many set-top-boxes can't render alpha levels in images over video, and if you could turn it off completely the marketing people would have panic attacks at the thought that you might not instantly know what channel you're watching.

As an inveterate time-shifting PVR owner they may have a point(*). I'm barely aware of the concept of 'channels' these days. I have an EPG with a few hundred lines of text on it and I browse that looking for stuff to mark for recording but that's as far as it goes. The closest I come to the concept is knowing that when I reach the first gap I have to jump to 520 to get to the rest of the good stuff.

(*)Although frankly I'd be happier not being reminded I can see how the idiots that work in marketing might be wetting themselves about that.

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Anonymous Coward

So up the tech

Current STBs may not be able to generate alpha images, but doesn't mean they can't start building that into newer tech. In fact I most current STBs can in fact do alpha as most can do alpha EPG, so they are capable of it.

As for marketing, they can go F themselves. There is no place for them in the age of time shifting and tailored programming.

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Boffin

Channel...

...ling Thunderbirds.

<-- Brains, obv.

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Who cares?

So the logo is changing? Big deal - I doubt I would have noticed if you hadn't told me.

Actually, I'm positive I wouldn 't have noticed as I never watch the channel.

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Logo

They went through a phase with no logo at all. Then just as I began to warm to the station they brought it back. I have never watched a program on it since. Torrents are my friend. Thanks Five, or whatever you are called.

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Paris Hilton

Huh?

So to save money they spent money on re-branding the channel?

Is it just me or would it have been more cost effective not to re-brand and to keep using the existing idents for another year or so?

Paris, because it's really not that difficult to work out ...

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Happy

@William Towle

Damn, you beat me to it!

My vehicle is the bright yellow submarine.

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The CSI Channel

The CSI Channel would be a more honest name...

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FAIL

I hate logos and they drop viewing figures

I used to watch a lot of C5 during their dogless period, now I don't even watch the Gadget Show and that was the last one I did.

Poor channel, knows how to annoy viewers.

AND I HATE THOSE BL**DY DOGS.

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WTF?

Saving Money

Surely the best way to save money would be to not splurge any on having a new logo and just leave the old one in place.

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FAIL

Just gimme!

MY LATE NIGHT BASEBALL COVERAGE BACK PLEASE!!!!!!

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Sorry

All Channel Five's money has gone on a brand new series of 'Hitler's Gardens' which will be followed by an entire season of Steven Seagal movies - forever.

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