You're talking out of your &£$&
"Given the compute power available in modern superphones, cracking and joining said network is trivial. Android is a real threat here; the number of applications for the Linux ecosystem to do exactly this is staggering. "
Firstly, drop the "superphones" nonsense, nobody is buying it, sorry, you didn't coin a new term.
Is this trivial ? Why, which phones have wireless chipsets that support monitor mode, or even promiscous mode ? Which of them support packet injection ? The closest we have come is a promise that this is possible with neo-pwn on the n900. apart from that, mobile WiFi cracking is best left to your Zaurus or netbook.
Also how is the number of wifi cracking applications staggering ? Really ? You think ? Theres only really two or three, four at a push, that are worth using. Again, these are only useful on devices with wireless network cards that can at Least grab raw packets, and only practical with wireless network cards that can grab raw packets and inject raw packets..... Force a WPA handshake, etc.