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back to article Alabama sex shop owner swaps 'Guns for Toys'

An Alabama sex shop owner has decided to do her bit for peace and luuurv this Valentine's Day, and is offering customers the chance to trade "Guns for Toys". Flyer for the Guns for Toys offer Sherri Williams, owneratrix of Pleasures, in Huntsville, hopes to take 300 firearms off the street before the offer wraps on 15 February …

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Only in...

America.

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Bang bang!

Only in America would they have a gun sale to raise money for crime victims. I love you all, you crazy bastards!

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Anonymous Coward

Hello?

"public morality can still serve as a legitimate rational basis for regulating commercial activity"

While public safety cannot (since guns are commercially available with no question asked).

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No questions asked...

Obviously you have not bought a gun from a commercial vendor in the US; if you had you'd know that there are certainly questions asked. If you buy a rifle then that is it; they ask the questions and you answer them, then you can buy. If you are buying a handgun, though, they ask the questions, you answer, then you wait for a while to buy the weapon.

The government "doesn't" hang on to your answers though.

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Bronze badge
WTF?

Something's not right here

The toy shop owner "hopes to take 300 firearms off the street" but then "all guns that were used in a crime will be handed over to authorities while all others will be placed in an auction for sale on the store's website". That's not taking guns off the street, IMO.

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@Paul Hovanian

How will they know which ones had been used in a crime?

They going to do ballistics tests on them, or look for bloodstains, or just ask the person dropping the gun off?

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Gold badge
WTF?

W........T..........F..........?

Anyone can easily buy a gun in Alabama, but getting your paws on a dildo requires a medical certificate?

I am awestruck. What the heck do their legislators smoke? I really want some of *that* serious, mind-altering shit.

Just out of interest, if you go into this "guns 'n toys" place and ask for a long barreled .45 revolver, does the proprietor's head explode?

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Silver badge
FAIL

Blame the original colonists

The Puritans came to North America to get away from folks who wouldn't let them force other folks to worship the way the Puritans wanted them to. A Puritan is a person who is very much afraid that someone, somewhere, is having a good time.

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Coat

Definition

If you use a feather to tickle her fancy, then that is just a bit kinky

If you use the whole chicken, that's perverted!

...

Mine's the one with the chains, buckles, slashed back and gimp mask hoodie

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Anonymous Coward

Serious question...

Can someone please tell me what medical condition you need to have to be able to buy a dildo for medical reasons? And don't say Nymphomania, surely that would just exacerbate the condition.

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Coat

Medical need for a dildo -- Remains unclear...

However, medical need for a pocket pussy, blow up doll, or advanced lubricant is pretty straight forward. If you cant figure that one out, then apparently you've never had blue balls, which means A, you need to get out more, B, you've never had a woman, thus never been teased, or C, you've gotten laid by every woman you've ever screwed around with, which makes you either extremely lucky, to the point of some sort of god like status, or you're just simply a fuckin liar. my guess is is either A or B.

I think this is a great idea, if only they sold booze and smoke they'd be the perfect shop, i've always that the A.T.F (alcohol, tobacco and firearms) should be a convenience store, not a government agency. they could be called the A.T.F.FT, Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Fuck Toys... It would be a popular establishment, at least in the republican states...

I believe thats my taxi that just honked, i'll be takin me coat please...

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Hysteria

Look up female hysteria on Wikipedia, or a reliable source if you prefer, and read under history. It is absolutely hysterical reading and should answer your question. (Yes, I see the pun, but the pun was not intended.)

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Your post is a bit fucked up

Your post is a bit fucked up - but I like it! Upvoted!

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Go

Neck massagers

Surely* you must remember the adverts for 'Neck massagers' in the papers years ago - I suspect it was in the Sunday Sport? Viz also had a cartoon taking the mick out of the adverts. This was in the days before we had Ann Summers on the UK High Street - thankfully we've all grown up a bit now.

NoOnions

* Sorry, I won't call you Shirley again...

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Joke

Well fuck me

ain't that just a swell and dandy idea to make the family safer, and make a few more family members while we're at it Ma?

BTW, what happens if a Sex Crime is created with one of the replacement devices -- who is responsible?

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Wow...

If you replaced Alabama with Afghnistan there would be people complaining about those muslims not letting their women have "toys".

The USs hypocritical double -standards and petty-minded puritanism never cease to amaza me.

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Pint

Rest easy

I'm a current resident of Alabama.

It's not hard to get "toys". (or mags, or dvd's, etc) There may be a law in place to prevent the sale to the general public, but it's not readily enforced. Yes we have to go into the back room of Love Stuff, and yes we do have to show ID to prove our age. Other than that, it's not a big deal.

Petty-minded puritanism? There's nothing puritanical about the vast majority of the men and women here. Is the current law stupid? Sure. Is it annoying? Yep. Is it representative of the general attitude of the people of the United States? No. Of the residents of Alabama? Not that I've observed.

And it's not just women that are prohibited from buying the toys. (and yes, men buy them) So it's not as comparable to Afghanistan. So relax. It's not as dire in Alabama and the US as you think.

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Grenade

Well...

"Is it representative of the general attitude of the people of the United States? No. Of the residents of Alabama? Not that I've observed."

If that is the case, then it's time the people stood up to their elected representatives and told them. Politicians are put there by the people and it's the people who get them removed.

No matter how much back-room manipulation and bargaining goes on, if they don't get the votes they are out of the job and you'll be surprised how far the slimy bastards will bend just to keep the job.

*Pineapple, an offering to the slimy elected reps who ignore the will of the people!

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@XML slave

I realise that the majority of the population of the US are probably pretty rational and not all that puritanical -- but the country as a whole is full of this kind of law and they had to come from somewhere. The comparison with Afghanistan was a little much, but it wouldn't surprise me if, for example, China feels a little freer to the man in the street where the law isn't always applied than to others who fall foul of it or to people who just read about the laws. It is US government policy to invade other countries over a perceived lack of freedom in that country (or, at least, that is the reason given) but when it comes to lack of freedom in the US they don't care a jot.

As an aside, because I always end up defending the right to some kind of sexual freedom: little laws like this do matter and are a problem in many ways because they can be and are enforced in a lax manner -- they can be applied when no other law is broken, but the officer involved takes offence, for example. They also say a lot about a justice system where the morals of a minority are enforced upon the majority even though no harm is involved.

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Paris Hilton

owneratrix of Pleasures

Pure class. Worthy of a paris.

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Coat

Stop It!

You are clearly just baiting the commentards with stories like these for the cheap ratings.

You know they'll just go off half-cocked at the gratuitous titillation....

oh damn....I'll get me coat.

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Educational?

If the customer says "I didn't know that was possible.", does it qualify as educational?

Sounds like a pretty big loophole to me...

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Pint

@Decius

Heh, nice. Or maybe:

- "I want the Penetrator 2000 XL to teach her / myself / it a lesson"

- You can buy anything as long as you're also buying a "naught teacher" costume as well. A Swedish nurse or French maid outfit doesn't qualify.

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"all guns that were used in a crime will be handed over to authorities"

How does she know that a gun was used for crime?

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re "How does she know that a gun was used for crime?"

Well, for example, it may have been traded for an illegal dildo.

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Urh
Coat

I guess the person running this shop...

...is a big believer in the concept of "Make love, not war."

Mine's the one that's emitting the buzzing sound from the inside pocket.

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