A California man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after an accident involving a metal-enhanced cock. José Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, a spectator at a cockfight who had previously been fined for owning or training an animal for fighting, died after being stabbed in the leg in Tulare County, the Grauniad …
is why bootnotes is the best bit of El Reg.
One optimus maximus this way please :)
Hey, if it works...
Send me one, as well! I may have even ruined two or three, so, y'know, send a few as backups...
Shurely "Another man killed by own cock" after this one: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/01/21/man_bird_death/
Did you mean...
Didn't the exact same story appear in the Mail?
But with a Bengali man? Is there some new craze in the cock fighting underworld for strapping razors onto already hyperactive and dangerous birds?
Next they will be strapping frikkin' lasers onto sharks.
Re: Didn't the exact same story appear in the Mail?
"Is there some new craze in the cock fighting underworld..."
They're starting to fight back. Need a Rise Of The Cocks icon now.
.... have a Jobs icon. I'd think one prick was enough.
I can honestly say that I would not want to know what that icon would look like.
Though I suspect Paris would...
El Reg one small picci of a viagra pill thanks
Outrage as requested
Must have been a bloody big blade for a cut to his leg to have killed him. What were the birds? Ostriches? Maybe a long lost colony of Moa?
Either way, bloody good shot.
bloody big blade
Or a small slash to the inside thigh severing the femeral artery - 8mm should do it..
Given that it was is calf that was stabbed (not his thigh), and that he died two days later, he almost certainly died of a wound infection. Remember folks this is what can happen if you don't wash your cock regularly.
Given that you used the boffin icon, I can't resist pointing out that it's femoral, not femeral, artery.
Attention to details
He died two hours after sustaining injury, not two days. So, some kind of complication was a factor here, but I doubt the infection. Embolia, maybe? Severe maltreatment of the wounded calf, resulting in increased blood loss?
Or, for the thrill seekers... Poison on the cock blade?
Still, I admit that the opportunity to raise awareness about cock washing should not be missed...
Re: bloody big blade
Probably the posterior tibial artery, if severed you'll bleed to death without a tourniquet (in fact bending the knee and applying pressure could save you), bleeding out is just not as fast as the femoral, the femoral artery is also notoriously fiddly to stop bleeding with pressure (and astoundingly painful).
When deploying the Grammar Nazi alert, one should re-read the original article, any comments to which one is replying and one's own text before posting - just in case one inadvertently shows one's self up. Case in point: you have come to an entirely unlikely conclusion (albeit providing a good hook for a pun) because you did not pay attention to the period of time between wounding and death.
Two HOURS, not days.
"He died two hours after sustaining injury, not two days. "
"Embolia, maybe? " Spanish for embolism ? Maybe, but my money's on anaphalactic shock. Still caused by a dirty cock.
Due you think he was a Spurs fan ?
I'm sure I read a similar story a few months back about another person coming to a similar end, is this the start of a mass cock uprising?
My thoughts exactly... Rise of The Cocks?
I for one welcome our chopper enhanced cock overlords.
the sound of Karma biting you in the ass.
Well, thats one moron down; many, many more to go.
That is all
Surely sub header shou;d have been:
Cock cut kills Californian.
I was hoping for
Cock Kills Cock
Twat Stabbed by Cock
That is all
Law of cause and effect...
Seems like we're putting all our eggs in one basket and our problems are coming home to roost.
A few weeks ago I said well that's not a headline you read everyday
Well maybe not, but every fortnight or so seems to be the norm for metal enhanced cock death related stories...
Yay its Friday..
That is all..
I LOLed. Really.
"I have never seen this type of incident," Sgt Martin King told a Californian newspaper.
Pity. Is there some way to make it more commonplace?
Wrong title, Sarah
He was a spectator, so it was not his own cock.
Man killed by too much cock?
Icon Request: cock.
Re: Wrong title, Sarah
Oh yes fair point.
re: Man stabbed to death by chicken
Well its acurate, but way off the humor scale... perhaps I could help:
Cock watcher killed by other blokes Bird
Californian in Dogging Fail
Angry bird kills spectator
Humans:0 - Angry Birds:2
(icon: one of the birds)
I'm not gonna dick around with this one.
Considering the Bengali cock went missing after killing the previous owner, is this perchance the same bird? Some propor investigating is required!
Cock expands its horizons and seeks new prey?
Re: FOUND IT!!
So how did it get from Bengal to California?
I thought that flying cocks were a phenomenon unique to Second Life........
Is this in any way related to the "Too many fart apps" story - too many damned angry birds now!
Hitchcock didn't use that plot twist
I must admit that the prospect of being killed by a another persons cock is a little more worrying than being killed by your own
Oh, I don't know.
There are far worse ways to go!
Can't think of a title
"the sound of Karma biting you in the ass."
Would that be Chicken Karma?
It should be easy to do better than this...
In an attempt to get a breast of the situation, the arrival of the police ruffled feathers as the previously plucky illegal fighters fled the nest. The egg-ascerbated spectator who had suffered foul play as a result of an over agitated cock, claimed with his dying breath that he had nothing to do with it; he had only wanted to have a plucking good time and thought the invite said, "hen night". Police told him to stop pulling their legs. Suspects have been rounded up and are expected to get a good roasting; for now, they're all rib-caged.
Breaking the pattern
Just waiting to see if Sarah has any "woman killed by own pussy" stories.
Re: Breaking the pattern
No, because I am a raving sexist.
Re: How about
Is it possible to construe that the police conducted their investigation THEN had the repeat offender taken for medical attention. Justice at its very best. Is it possible the fatality can be regarded as work place accident or suicide with an unusual weapon of choice. I like the thought of man being nailed by his own cock...
flagrant instances of not reading the article properly
You mean there was an article? I must have missed something. Did it have an IT angle or was it just a load of cock and calf^H^H^H^H bull?
Re: flagrant instances of not reading the article properly
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