Just skip all the software patens
And demand that any patent has a real working implementation.
And accept a EU patent in any major EU language as good enough.
IBM a long time ago came to the conclusion that Finnish was the (by far) most suitable language for computers as it is precise and has hardly no exceptions to its grammar.
In other words it is not the language but the number of people who command it (at least to some extent) that matters.
English is good enough for me although it is not my native language.
But the real problem is that patents are still, sort of, thought to be new inventions.
Think diesel, fridge, and so on, real inventions.
To day anything scribbled on a paper goes.
All that rubbish is, of course, OK as long as the money is moving into the right pockets.
And of course this is situation that makes all the patent lawyers happy (rich) as hell.
Also it seems to make big corporations happy as it will help them to keep any competition
from upstarts at bay.