Feeds

back to article Man demands police protection from sex-mad missus

An exhausted Turkish man living in Germany has asked cops to protect him from his sex-mad missus, Bild reports. The bleary-eyed victim of his wife's "voracious embraces" walked into a police station in the southwestern city of Waiblingen on Tuesday to explain he'd spent four years kipping on the sofa in a vain attempt to get …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
WTF?

Bizarre

The lucky, lucky, ungrateful bastard.

18
1
Badgers

Depends...

... we haven't seem what his wife looks like.

Badgers? Because we don't have a beaver icon.

5
0
Joke

rate this article?

limp

1
0
Silver badge

Help is at hand

I'm sure the british police's bodyguard unit could send someone over

14
0
Joke

Turkish delight!

As per title - sorry!

5
0
Coat

I like the IT-angle on this

So the man gets a divorce and his problems are over.

But what about the poor woman? Once her identity is revealed, with a sex drive like that, how is she ever going to find another man?

(Mine is the one with the rubbers and blue pills in the pocket).

3
1
Joke

Can't get enough sleep?

There's a nap for that...

26
0
Pint

There's An...

...app for that.

0
3
Anonymous Coward

grim

see title

0
0

Photo?

A photo of the missus please, so we can get an indication of whether this guy's being an idiot or not.

11
1
Thumb Up

man make snoosnoo

Be careful what you wish for.

5
0
Anonymous Coward

dont worry about the police

I'm heading to the airport to take care of the problem myself.

3
0
Bronze badge
Happy

Have some sympathy for the poor sod!

You get in from a hard day at work and all you want to do is eat some scran, plonk down in front of the goggle-box. Instead all you get is the Missus all over you, poking and proding your various bits in an attempt to get some life out of the wee gentlemen, she simply won't leave you alone to watch the game or a documentary about the Wee-Wok tribe from Outer-Mongolia!

2
1
Happy

Playmobil reconstruction, please

I know, I know, the Playmobil team is now looking into space horizons and epic adventures close to the outer edge of the planet. However, in this specific case, they could surely enhance the story with their classic acting talents.

0
0
IT Angle

Know your audience

As much as I enjoyed this article there are some that will complain about it not being tech related enough. Maybe to appease these people you could reword it as follows

Title: "Man goes to cops to request cease and desist on port DoS attack"

Body: A Turkish man has requested police intervention on a violation of his master port's acceptable use policy whilst he explores get out clause options in his contract. Sustained throughput has prevented him entering sleep mode.

A Verizon spokesperson stepped in to support the man by stating "Unlimited use is all well and good initially, but is unsustainable in the long run."

...<Reg magic>

29
0
Pint

Brilliant!

You, Sir, made my day.

1
0
zb
Thumb Up

Give the man a job

as an El Reg special correspondent.

0
0
Thumb Up

Brilliant!

I'd only make one change - strike "Verizon" and replace with "Virgin".

0
0
WTF?

Poor guy needs a stunt double....

..or a team of stunt doubles perhaps.

Blimey !

2
0
Coat

..A stunt double?

a cunning one?

4
0

They have two kids

How only two!?

1
0

Re: They have two kids

Clearly: failure rate of birth control methods X intercourse count = 2. Of course, the reliability of proper birth control is extremely high, so...

0
0
Alert

Failure...

...binding socket to port.

0
0
Happy

no porn

I suppose the IT angle, is that they did not need an Internet connection because there was no need for the usual on-line porn ^^.

1
0
Anonymous Coward

Calm down now

Please form an orderly queue.

You will all get your rations.

0
0

Is his missus a member of the "Lubby Dubby Tribe"?

And does she look like Valerie Leon?

0
0
Paris Hilton

They have kid?!?!

Kids are a pretty good prophylactic in my humble, frustrated, experience.

Paris coz, well you work it out

1
0
Silver badge
Linux

Slowing down and such

> Kids are a pretty good prophylactic in my humble, frustrated, experience.

They only help so much and really only if you are completely worn out by them. This is primarily true of babies and toddlers. No so much for older kids.

1
0
Anonymous Coward

Despite the giggling from the back

I read somewhere that the "I've got a headache" excuse is used far more by men than women.

And I have two ex-husbands that well demonstrate that men are not all sex machines (though that isn't the sole reason for their ex-ness - they were work-shy money-obscessed arseholes in general*).

*this only works if your partner is prepared to foot all your bills for nothing in return.

1
0

Unbelievable

The one to pass up is the one you can never make up again. Give this guy a week and I bet he will be back for a little lovin'

0
0
Grenade

The sentence has been passed

You are condemned to Death by Snu Snu! Lucky bastard..

'Suck on this' because suggesting that would have doubtless cooled her ardor wouldn't it gents?

0
0
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Bild?

You quote Bild Zeitung? The rag that you could compare to News of the World? Have you checked the story? Half of what is written in that toilet paper is made up!!!!!!

And the guyz who claim he should be grateful .... have you ever been in a relationship with a nympho? I guess not ... some can really tire you out, I know from experience, I made the same assumptions ... I can tell ya, when ye end up walking into the office like a cowboy every other day, you will soon figure that having a relationship with a nympho is not only tiring, it can also be painful ... balls ache like mad when you stress them too much!!!!

Madonna for obvious reasons ...

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.