Angry Birds turns sour IRL
'tis much safer on your jesus phone.
A Bengali man has reportedly suffered a gruesome demise after he pushed his metal-enhanced cock that bit too far. Singrai Soren, a trainer of fighting roosters, was killed in Mohanpur in West Bengal after one of his birds apparently turned on him, the Daily Mail soberly relates. According to a friend, Soren forced the cockerel …
'tis much safer on your jesus phone.
I smell a Darwin Award nomination incoming
Depends if he managed to procreate before his cock turned on him.
Man equips animal with unpleasant weapons and tries to force it to kill other animals.
Animal turns on man and kills him instead.
Quality of human gene-pool somewhat improved.
Well with Belorussian foxes shooting hunters and armoured Indian poultry on murderous rampage it is only a matter of time before the scenario played out in the following url becomes reailty:
A cock, razor blades, feathers and Paris no where to be seen... Something is just not right with the world today.
...it's not the feathered one.
Mother N. does not like to be pushed around sometimes, she has teeth and claws!
and now razor blades!
You're almost pushing it too far. Truely a gem of not so fine writing.
...she says in a thick COCKney accent.
i think Sarah's channelling Lester today.
...his tongue to push the cock back to ring? Otherwise, unless these razors were fixed to the wings of the bird, instead of talons, I have hard time imagining how did he came close enough for throat slitting experience.
I mean, if it was dog fighting ring, and that man was attacked and killed by his pitbull, OK, but rooster?
That being said, this is exactly the same type of entertaiment, enjoyed by the same type of people, who get exactly the same amount of sympathy from me.
Encountered a *seriously* aroused cock?
First talons are on a bird's toes. Second the blades are attached to the birds feet, roosters jump at their target feet first. Third, roosters are big and notoriously mean critters, unless you have handled them you really can't imagine.
There are some truly massive cocks out there.
You can't force nature. Critters do what critters do. All I can do (as a trainer) is encourage their natural behavior. Trying to force them outside that envelope only leads to tears.
Now ask me why my bird & I are happily married ... and will stay that way.
that is all...
So that makes it 5 wins.
Seriously, throat sliced? Serves him right for providing his poultry with sowrds and knives.
It 'serves him right' for supporting needless animal cruelty.
That's one Angry Bird!
is the modratrix trying to steal Lester's smut crown from him?
serves him right - it's a horrible "sport"
The cock sliced the throat of its owner, it's a great sport! Same thing with corridas, if there was a fair chance to see toreros getting gored routinely, I'd start watching that too.
Here I was thinking that you were a fine, upstanding woman with the morals and sober judgment of a Victorian lady.
Obviously you have to let off some steam every so often, but I am sitting here stunned.
"Here I was thinking that you were a fine, upstanding woman with the morals and sober judgment of a Victorian lady."
Working at El Reg?
murder most fowl.
And its not the David Beckham controversy.
I bet he was wishing he paid heed to his mothers advise to leave his cock alone. Especially when he has played with it so much that it was red and black... not to mention angry.
Paris... for obvious reasons.
his chickens came home to joust?
Are reports true that the cock asked 'Sarah Connor?' before dispatching him?
Good job it didn't have hydraulics + AI ;o)
I think Lewis Page had better watch out! Going by the number of comments in his last few articles, I now have visions of the earstwhile moderator going after him with blades attached to her hands and head and letting rip...
I am surprised she even found time to type this article, unless it is a warning to us all...? ;)
And precision steel blades.
Serves the nasty piece of shit right.
My only disappointment is that the cock didn't manage to kill more of the nasty shits involved in the evil and barbaric event.
Remember another arsehole has bagged the cock for himself. We can all pray to our respective deities or equivalent for a rematch with same result.
Not so much "diamond cutter" as "throat cutter".
Don't forget the definition of rooster - chick with a dick.
To Thai Roosters or "chaps with flaps".
I thank you.
... you shouldn't play with razor blades and too much with your cock will make you silly, fatally so!!!
...give my bird knives all the time and try and force her in to where they be of some use (the kitchen), she does tend to flap quite a bit. I should probably learn from others mistakes.
Full marks for the tags - even though no other article seems to use them...
And now Auntie has just reported this - "Live chicken thrown at KFC staff in Nuneaton"
Is this an example of Hen-do aggression?
Headline of the day, shurely?
what I just ate at KFC.
Now excuse me while I try to find my insides.
It just didn't get up and walk away.
PS. Where is the Cathy Cruz Marrero angle?
In any case, he definitely is below the waist and deeper than much waste... I bet in the end he chickened out. Got ousted and roosted. What was good for the goose was good for THAT gander...
"...All hail Sate-Hen..."
Where's the IT angle?
I mean, seriously, razors are so clearly analogue technology....
if you're putting razorblades on your cock, you're not doing something right.