Burglars snort dead dad's ashes
Florida cops have cuffed a burglary gang who broke into a house and stole the ashes of the owner's father, believing they were illicit narcotics. The victim returned to her Silver Springs residence to discover she was short of a few items, including electronics and jewellery. Rather more disturbing was the absence of the ashes …
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2nd guy in pic
definately seems to have found something decent. look at his eyes! i think he has certainly found a nice bag of brown.
they obviously arent too bright. the old marching powder has a pretty distinct smell to it
I doubt its drugs shown by his eyes
Its far more likely the photo has just caught the guy blinking or just as likely, he could simply be one of those people who try to show a nonchalant arrogance towards others. Burglars almost by definition have a Narcissistic self interest and therefore contempt for others.
Did they recover...
the urn of her poor, dead dad, Charlie?
Re: Did they recover...
I believe that was the implication.
Clues
Once the penny had dropped, the master criminals ditched their booty, which police are trying to locate.
Pity
Pity the remains didn't contain some kind of instantly lethal poison. Would have been a good way to remove these three retards from the gene pool.
Urban myth
Surely the druggies would have taste tested the ashes first and realised their mistake?
This wouldn't surprise me if it was just another "Fox Exclusive" as in they have no real news so recycle urban myths...
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/cannibal/cocaine.asp
Snopes seems a bit off on that one
Read more closely. They point out that most of the stories going around are legend but then point out that it's based on an actual event and then point out another case where it actually happened and then doubt that it ever happens.
I'm a bit lost trying to figure out what their point is.
@advocate
"Surely the druggies would have taste tested the ashes first and realised their mistake?"
LOL just LOL. Maybe you should watch a little less television.
Bit of a role reversal though.
Man sniffs dog, I wonder which one sniffed the doggies wotsits. :D
Good to see the mug shots
I'm glad to see that the Reg had the guts and good sense to post the pictures and names of these criminals instead of just calling them 'youths'.
why wouldn't they?
all 3 are over 18.
anyway guy in the middle looks like cletus the yokel's hispanic cousin.
South Park
Reminds me of the episode where Cartman assumes Kenny's ashes are chocolate milk powder and drinks them will milk then takes on Kenny's personality.
Classic
"It's like my brain keeps jacking off or something.."
Plus ca change
Happened in the UK in 2000:
http://humorpix.com/pictures/Coked-up_thieves_snort_dead_dogs_ashes
And way back in 1934, in Bellingham, WA:
http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=8RhkAAAAIBAJ&sjid=FXsNAAAAIBAJ&pg=4679,3744686
Movie Remake?
Was this not done already in How High?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0278488/
Not the first
Didn't the immortal Keith Richards do this with his Dad's ashes?
Re: She had her dogs cremated?
Yes. Not everyone has a back garden to bury them in. Especially not if they're Great Danes. And I bet you'd be more spluttery if she had buried them and put ickle headstones on the graves.
Back to flame school, shorty.
!!Google is you friend'!!
Turning into big business and has been available for decades pet cremation...
i.e:
http://www.dignitypetcrem.co.uk/?gclid=CKHipOzPyKYCFcoe4QodAVe9Gw
Ickle headstones
[shudder] That's only slightly less creepy than a great-aunt of mine who had a succession of Westies stuffed and mounted on their demise.
Her parlour was like something out of Edgar Allan Poe - all those glass eyes staring down at you...
Or they're responsible (ex) owners...
...who don't want to risk poisoning the water table. Or don't want to risk some poor unsuspecting future homeowner unearthing the remains, (it sucks - believe me).
Or maybe they just want to take Mr. Barky with them when they move.
I had my cat cremated when he died. He's in a little box that sits on his favourite windowsill.
Any properly demented pet owner
Would have called in the taxidermist and had the danes (and possibly the dad) stuffed so they could carry on cluttering up the allegedly tiny apartment which had no garden in which to bury them.
Of course these three little Einsteins would probably then have molested the stuffed and mounted remains in a different way but nevermind.....
I've buried pets
I've buried pets (my own, after they died I should point out). No headstone. But cremation seems a lot of trouble and must be pretty expensive. Keeping the ashes is getting a bit creepy for me. If I didn't have anywhere to bury a dead pet I would be inclined to call my local vet to dispose of it.
Wow, insulted by the moderatrix! Was it the flame icon? That was just because of the cremation.
Cat's ashes
I thought the idea was to scatter the ashes somewhere where the cat had been fond of.
FWIW our cat seems to spend most of its time in the neighbours' dustbins.
Re: Any properly demented pet owner
This is the most insane comment I have seen in quite some time.
Re: I've buried pets
It was just an odd thing to say. But yeah I took the flame as like, a flame.
You can blame the bastards over in that other thread that has made me despair of humanity all over again as usual.
I'm cremating my dog when he goes. It's not that expensive, £100 or something (including the little box and plaque, apparently). I've got a big enough garden to bury him but I don't really like the thought of it. I dunno.
@Blofield's Cat
"[shudder] That's only slightly less creepy than a great-aunt of mine who had a succession of Westies stuffed and mounted on their demise."
Stuffed and mounted? Wouldn't it have been more tasteful to have them just rubbing noses?
@Mako
>>"Or don't want to risk some poor unsuspecting future homeowner unearthing the remains, (it sucks - believe me)."
And depending where you live, it may happen rather sooner than some future owner doing a bit of gardening.
@Sarah Bee
"I'm cremating my dog when he goes. It's not that expensive, £100 or something (including the little box and plaque, apparently)."
We had our cat cremated after he died of heart failure. Cost £40, and we then scattered his ashes up on Hampstead Heath. Unfortunately the wind changed direction just as Mrs Enorme did the deed, and I suspect I've still got bits of the poor little bugger in the fabric of my favourite coat.
Re: Re: Any properly demented pet owner
What? Have you never seen the stuffed dog Rowdy in Scrubs? He is an essential member of the cast, well after his first death...
http://scrubs.wikia.com/wiki/Rowdy
Of course if more people did this instead of burial or cremation then we could amass private armies of dead pets http://images.wikia.com/scrubs/images/4/44/4x4kyle.jpg but that might be a little freaky, unless we made them into robot armies.
It's also illeagal
At list in parts of the US it's not legal to bury your pets in your yard, not that your likely to be caught.
@ Mr Enorme
The wind changed direction... In Big Lebowski style then?
@advocate
"This wouldn't surprise me if it was just another "Fox Exclusive" as in they have no real news so recycle urban myths..."
Business as usual then.
And then....
Having had a taste for the good stuff they went looking for Soylent Green.
1st guy in the pic
Someone should explain to him that drawing facial hair on with a black marker doesn't make him look older, just slightly odd.
I get Black Adder flashbacks
I still have tears in my eyes from laughing, grin.
I get a modern day Blackadder IV feeling here, with Baldrick using ashes as replacement cocaine like his coffee ingredients. I think this is why it made me laugh so much. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
:-)
Re: I get Black Adder flashbacks
Er, glad we could help.
@Just Thinking
What else do you do with a dead animal? Leave it in a ditch somewhere? Not exactly hygenic, and it's not something any pet owner is likely to go for. Sure you can bury them, but it's a non-starter for anyone with a small garden, with a lot of pets, who's owned multiple pets over a number of years, or who has pets that are large (Great Danes, horses, etc.).
burning != cremation
To be honest I am not sure what happens to animals which get put down by the vet if the owner can't or doesn't want to take the body. Probably they do get burned, same as would happen if you asked a vet to dispose of a pet. Hopefully the glue/animal feed/stock cube industries are already served by regular abatoirs (but hell you never know these days).
I wasn't saying anything against burning as a practical way of disposing of dead animals, but cremation implies some kind of ceremony and keeping the ashes afterwards which I find, at the least, a bit creepy.
Re: burning != cremation
Why is it creepy? I don't get it.
If it's been put down by a vet
I would imagine they'd add a small fee for incineration of the remains, in a furnace (much like what happens to medical waste). I can see why some people would want their pets cremated and to keep the ashes, but I would imagine this is also quite costly.
Why is it creepy?
I'm guessing it's the transient smell of a Sunday roast as the furnace warms it up.
Keeping ashes isn't
But I'll tell you what really creepy is: hereabout is a collection point for cadaver. Literally next door is a butcher. And I'm still not quite sure which direction the value chain goes...
Fine name, but for a thug?
From Lewis & Short, courtesy of the Perseus project at Tufts:
mātrix , īcis, f. id.,
I. a mother in respect to propagation (in lit. signif. not used of women).
I. Lit., a breeding-animal: of breeding-cows, Varr. R. R. 2, 5, 12; of breeding-ewes, Col. 7, 3, 12; of laying-hens, id. 8, 2, 6; 8, 5, 11.—
B. Transf.
1. Of plants, the parent-stem, Suet. Aug. 94.—
2. The womb, matrix (late Lat.): “matricis dolor,” Veg. Vet. 2, 17, 5; Sen. Contr. 2, 13, 6.—
3. A public register, list, roll: “in matricibus beneficiariorum,” Tert. Fug. in Persec. 12.
Hmm
I usually think of the math construct when I see Matrix.
Sorry...
When later asked why effect the asses had, one of them replied, it was the Dogs Bollocks!
Pet disposal
Man in big truck from a particular company turns up to empty the freezer unit at your local Vet clinic. Pets are then taken to an appropriate incinerator facility and disposed of as per clinical waste - hence the fee from the Vet. To pay for the man to take & incinerate the former pets (environmental whatsit licence - you pollute you pay sort of thing).
OUCH!!!
Fun Fact: Bones don't really burn. Sure all of the skin, hair, fat, muscle tissue, etc will burn off quite nicely. Bones don't. After a body is cremated, the bones and teeth are pulverized into a fine powder.
I would imagine that it would be a sensation similar to snorting glass powder.
and furthermore
Any _Travels with My Aunt_ flashbacks here, or is poor old Graham Greene completely forgotten?
Toxic nose candy
The awesome part about this is that ashes are usually highly toxic, so there could be some well deserved karmic repercussions for the snorting chunky, grey nose candy.
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