A Minnesota man has been cuffed on charges of "creating an explosive device and making terroristic threats" after allegedly rigging the worst Xmas present ever for an ex-girlfriend – an exploding vibrator. Terry Allen Lester. Pic: Waseca County According to the Criminal Complaint (PDF), Terry Allen Lester, 37, (pictured) was …
dildon't believe hair like that still exists
blah blah blah it angle. Who cares when you can pull a gem of a story out of the bag like this. awesome hair awesome story
It's called a 'mullet'...
...and it is alive and well in many areas of the United States, including my own hometown.
Ever known anyone named Lester before? When I saw that guys pic and then his name... there's really no surprise about the rest of the story.
No offense to anyone, but that surname has a rep.
The Black Mullet, indeed. And I'm sure I've seen him as Henchman #2 in some late-80s straight-to-video action film. Or does the US have a lot of folk who look like that?
On the mullet theme, my son (8 weeks) was born with a reasonable head of hair, and it's growing quite fast. Thing is, it's growing a lot faster at the back than the front, so in a few weeks I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a Mullet Baby. I thought this would be unusual, but Googling it, it seems there are plenty of them around, so add another to the rollcall. I love digital cameras - it'll be so much easier to distribute embarrassing photos when he's older!
@Ever known anyone named Lester before?
like, I don't know him, dude, but, y' know, the journalist who wrote the piece is totally named Lester. Does your characterisation of Lesters apply to him too?
His nickname is Moe
as in Minnesota Moe Lester
Gotta say it
Did the earth move for you?
Writing "Happy Xmas, Bitch" would mean that the recipient would be less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?
Hand grenade - just because.
Long on viciousness, short on brains
And don't call me Shirley.
A hand shandy grenade?
Re: Re: Shirley
Improvised ecstatic device.
Getting a bit excited there Sarah?
Must be a slow Friday...
Re: Re: Re: Shirley
Well, damn. Looks like our Moderatrix is really "on" today.
"less likely to use the thing than if it were wrapped up as an anonymous romatic present?"
Would *you* use a sex toy that was sent to you anonymously?
You're getting off on those puns, aren't you...? ;-)
With apologies to Tom Jones
Sex bomb sex bomb you're a sex bomb
You can give it to me when I need to come along
Sex bomb sex bomb you're my sex bomb
And baby you can turn me on
You know what you're doing to me don't you, Ha, Ha, I know you do
Now Don't get me wrong ain't gonna do you no harm
This bomb's made for lovin' and you can shoot it far
I'm your main target come and help me ignite
Love struck holding you tight
Make me explode although you know the route to go
Re: @Sarah Bee
They're just puns. It's what I do. I don't know what you do for fun around your place but I suspect it is icky.
You should be able to figure out the answer to that question from previous posts I've made, but if not, ask Jane Fae :-)
(And it's only icky if someone consents to it being icky!)
Business at the front, party at the back
I must say, this mulleted would-be misogyhadist's wild vibratorly scheming is rather half-cocked.
Gotta say it II
Bet that's the last time a girl ever says "Blow me!" to him
Paris is wondering
if it would have touched the sides
This post will probably be deleted. Heh heh
Brings new meaning to the phrase:
"I made her explode last night".
The best bang
since the Big Bang.
That's mine with the two collars...
No, no, NO.
"The best bang since the big one." - Mine's the one with the wide collar and three sleeves. Thank you.
(not sure it's healthy to have known that by heart without having to look it up...)
That's a nasty piece of work there, though. And the fact that he managed to have three relationships (albeit ones that went very wrong) with that hair and that attitude... Well, says a lot. Not sure what, but it says a lot of it.
What it says, I think...
...is that that part of Minnesota doesn't offer a hell of a lot of options.
@Aaron, re: options
The fact that mullet-man Lester could get vibrators would indicate that there ARE options ... even in the furthest reaches of Minnesota.
My mate Michelle wasn't phased..
- nothing like a good bang for christmas
- the orgasms just blew me away
- i was so turned on by my new vibe i could have exploded everywhere
Thumbs-up for her then...
This has so much potential for a tabloid-style pun-tastic headline.. I'm racking my brains, hope someone else is having more luck than me... :-(
Dumb Dude Done for Dodgy Dildo
worst Xmas present ever?
Nah, I've had worse. A rigged vibrator you can at least throw away, presents from in-laws on the other hand...
Dodgy Tache: Check
What's the betting this guy also drives a Chevy pick-up with a shotgun on the passenger seat and selection of cheap pornography in the glove-box?
Anything else would be a sucker bet...
...except the pickup might be a Ford or maybe a Dodge, and the shotgun's probably on the gun rack in the back window of the cab -- the passenger seat is for unregistered handguns, which are much more wieldy in the confines of a truck cab than long arms. (Sure, you could saw off a shotgun instead, but a) then you couldn't hunt with it any more, and b) a sawed-off shotgun'll send you to jail longer, because even in West Bumfuck, Alabama, it's considered a "gang banger weapon".)
west bumfuck... priceless
That's east bumfuck. Idaho is west.
The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.
It might be a Chevy, Ford, or even a Dodge, but it's a sure bet it's 20 years old, beat up and covered with rust, but has a practically new high performance engine under the hood.
Black helicopter because this guy is on every list in the country now.
West Bumfuck, which is due south of East Bumfuck. The guy who named them had the map turned 90 degrees when he was choosing names.
He faces 10 years inside if convicted,
Surely if convicted he faces more than just 10 years ?
in the land of consecutive 999 year sentences ~:o
A classic love story, really...
Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they fall out of love, they argue bitterly and break up, and boy plots to blow girl up with explosives-filled sex toy. Sure it's been overdone by Hollywood over the years, but in its purest form it still brings a tear to the eye just thinking about it.
Brings a whole new meaning...
...to the phrase 'Dirty Bomb'
The Most Fiendish...
...bomb i ever saw looked like a paper coffee cup.
It was placed on top of the victom's car, and went off when he lifted it.
The whole thing was caught on tape in a casino parking garage.
MORAL: Always use valet.
its just a grenade with a very fast timer.... cup holds trigger handle in place lifting the cup off the grenade allows the trigger to flip then boom.
I can't resist it either...
If he had made more than one he could have had a gang bang?
Terroristic a real word?
Well, a Google search for terroristic has shown plenty of dictionary matches - I thought it was terrorist or terrorism. Or tourism if you've got a certain accent.
Black choppers because well, that Google search will have flagged up on some govt system.
Re: Terroristic a real word?
No, but dildotastic is.
Now you're going to have to google that to find out whether I've just made it up or not.
...Kenny "Fucking" Powers?
Sheesh, the shit he learnt down in Mexico.
I thought lab mines were against the Geneva convention
As Basil Brush would say
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- Hello, police, El Reg here. Are we a bunch of terrorists now?
- Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE
- Worstall on Wednesday Wall Street woes: Oh noes, tech titans aren't using bankers