A cunning Israeli plan to use Mossad-operated spy vultures to glean valuable intelligence on Arab nations went seriously awry when one of the feathered spooks was arrested in rural Saudi Arabia. According to Israel's Ha'aretz, government operatives' attempts to disguise the bird as a participant in a vulture migratory study - by …
erm, literally a vulture? A spying vulture? Arrested? How do you arrest a vulture? How do you operate a vulture for that matter? Why did Israel's media report it? Is this a joke? I don't understand!
RE: Too Early
I think the Israelis are poking fun at their hyper-paranoid neighbours. Few people in the West realise just how paranoid the average Arab in the suk is regarding Israel, they view all Israelis as super-devious demons with almost magical powers to do wrong. We used to play a game every time we went to Cairo to see what was the most rediculous story we could hear from the taxi drivers, and they're reasonably educated compared to the Egyptians out in the sticks! If there's a drought, blame it on Israel ("The Israelis are using the Dimona nuke plant to heat up the air and cause drought in Egypt!"). The local mosquitos get more resistant to spraying, blame it on Israel ("The Israelis have been using chemical weapons since 1948, they made super-resistant mosquitos to ruin our tourist industry!"). Best yet was the one that bras were causing Egyptian women to become impotent, all due to Israelis and Jews in the international clothes trade! You can play this game anywhere in the Middle East, Turkey or Birmingham.
Sadly this is what Israel has to put up with.
This kind of story sounds like a joke but I wouldn't be surprised if it were true, not in the least. Someone wise once said, the problem about Israel and the Arabs is simple to see but hard to sort out.
One side just appears to want the other side dead.
Who wants what?
Consider these 2 separate and unlikely events and their likely aftermath:
1. What would happen if Israel laid down all its arms and said, I don't want to fight any one no more? What would its Arab neighbours do?
2. What would happen, conversely, if all of Israel's other adversaries did that instead? What would Israel do?
Who would take advantage of whom?
You only have to think back to 1967, 1973. This is why I have nothing but utmost respect for the state of Israel, its people and their fight and struggle to exist.
(And no, I am not Jewish, I love my bacon too much)
Maybe the problem is that 60-odd years ago, a huge area of land was stolen from the indigenous arabs (primarily by us Brits) and used to create Israel? And then, not content with the land that they already had, Israel started to take even more land from the surrounding area, year-on-year. And since then, for some inexplicable reason, the arabs have been really quite pissed off about the whole thing.
And no, I'm not an arab.
Best not to mention...
..the fact that Isreal was built on Muslim Arab land mainly taken by force then....
And no I'm not a Muslim, Jew, Christian or jedi beliver. I love bacon and beef to much.
Re: Best not to mention...
Please let us not get into this. Please? Unless anyone seriously thinks they've got a new angle which may finally bring peace to the middle east.
> bras were causing Egyptian women to become impotent
If Egyptian women are becoming impotent then I think there's a bigger problem.
Sorry, all 360 degrees have been spoken for.
But then again, there's always imaginary numbers.
So how about 90i degrees? I call it the "firm-belief-that-you're-right angle". This explains not only the Arab-Israeli conflict, but also the LibDem/Tory coalition; the war in Afghanistan; the Daily Mail....
Re : .. or ...
to the two people that voted hands-down on the original comment:
Thank you for your opinion. Also, try to keep in mind that even if you don't like it, the described scenario is actually what hapenned.
The dirty truth.
> ..the fact that Isreal was built on Muslim Arab land mainly taken by force then....
...which doesn't alter the fact that a "Palestinian" in Israel is still likely to get better treatment and more justice from the government of Israel. Pan Arab treatment and exploitation of the Palestinians is actually pretty shameful.
An Arab in Israel at least has some hope of due process.
Although, the way that Arabs in Bethlehem celebrate New Years is very illuminating.
Rewriting History Again?
As I recall, the creation of the State of Israel was sanctioned by the United Nations. The pen signing the declaration, which transferred land under British Mandate, barely lifted from the document when the Arab Legion, trained by the Brits, launched an attacked on the Zionist Palestinian Jews, also known as the 1948 War.
1. "huge area of land"?! Perhaps you should check out how Israel compares to some other countries http://www.iris.org.il/sizemaps.htm (Israel is just a bit larger than New Jersey).
2. Those "indigenous arabs" arrived in the land of Israel after the Jews were kicked out
3. "Israel started to take even more land" That is what happens when you attack a peaceful country and lose.
No, it's not exactly what happened.
It's a lot of truth with a big lie in the middle. Yes, it was pretty much mucked up by British diplomats once more engaged in The Great Game, but the land was under British control and the Jews paid for the land they occupied. They only resorted to arms after the Muslims attacked. Seems to be what Muslims are most noted for in the world the last 70 years or so. Of course it also turns out that the Israelis were much better with arms than the Arabs were, which more or less brings us to the current situation.
Are you posting from a small village in Egypt? Get all your history from Cairo cabbies? I take it you completely forgot about the State of Transjordan (AKA Jordan), created expressly for the Arabs out of 74% of the original Mandate land? I'll try and look suprised that you know next to nothing.
RE: Best not to mention...
"....the fact that Isreal was built on Muslim Arab land...." According to know-nothings like you, the whole of Spain is Muslim land, do you want to give that to the Palestinians as well? You forget Israel was also Jewish and Christain and who knows how many different religions laid claim to it before the Arabs swept out of the Saudi desert. Arabs and Islam are NOT from the area, and have been in the area for a lot less time than the Christians or the Jews. Shall we give it back to the Italians seeing as the Romans were once in control of the area? The Egyptians, because the Pharaohs had a time there too?
"....And no I'm not a Muslim, Jew, Christian or jedi beliver...." Obviously not a history major either.
>"Israel started to take even more land" That is what happens when you attack a peaceful country and lose.
The 67 war was started by israel, the israeli propaganda machine has been very good at switching the blame.
Also consider that israel was formed by acts of terrorism stern gang anyone!
Peace to the middle east
I have the solution to peace in the middle east. Israel is 22,000 some odd kilometre square. We have islands bigger than that. Israel could ask Canada nicely, and I am perfectly certain we could carve out a chunk of Saskatchewan for their entire population. I am sure they could either become another province within the Canadian confederation, or perhaps they could even buy the land and retain statehood as their own country.
The land currently called "Israel" in the middle east becomes Palestine and bob's yer uncle.
I know, I know...many people would not like the idea of "giving up their homes," but let's be honest here...the Israeli are culturally closer to North Americans than any of their neighbours...and Israel surely has enough money to functionally build themselves a brand new country's worth of infrastructure if they were provided suitable land. I don't think North Americans would mind sharing...especially if it means the Middle East would simmer down a little.
I honestly don’t understand why this hasn’t been proposed before. I am pretty sure that it would pass muster in a referendum here in Canada…especially if we were getting paid in some form for the land. (Either by their retaining a province or buying it outright.) The US has gobs of land too…they might consider it since Israel is their “special friend.” Maybe the solution to tensions in the Middle East is simply to relocate the cause of the tensions?
Might result in fewer lives lost.
The Brits tried to pull a fast one and turn Jerusalem over to the Arabs before they were scheduled to bug out. Didn't work too well. There was considerable animosity between Israelis and Brits at the time. The only reason the latter did anything to benefit the former was Truman twisting their arm.
The solution is both simple and complex at the same time.
Whatever happened in the past, Israel is here today.
Leave her alone, leave her in peace, and ... there will be peace.
It is only complex because there are certain people that just won't let things go. Maybe they can not because of their current mindset or beliefs - they would do well to examine these. Maybe this is the problem.
I can say it can work.
Forgive, forget, move on.
Most of Ireland (at least I can say this of the free south) does not bear much animosity to you Brits. Fact is, most of us are probably more fond of you than we are of the Yanks, to tell you the truth. American tourists can be fairly annoying :)
corrections to more corrections
There's opinion on both sides whether the 67 war was started by Israel or whether the actions of Egypt, Libya, constituted causus belli; in hindsight it's easy to forget that at the time it was not at all obvious that Egypt and its allies wouldn't steamroller Israel. The concept of Israel starting the war to gain territory is kind of like suggesting Canada might attack Russia to win some territory. However, since Israel returned the Sinai to Egypt when a treaty was signed, that's currently irrelevant.
On the other hand, there's no doubt whatsoever that Israel notified Jordan publicly that they had no quarrel and if Jordan remained neutral they would not be attacked; Jordan attacked anyway, and as a result lost the West Bank (which they had, of course, captured and annexed from the stillborn Palestinian state in 1948).
Some corrections continued
and, a lot of those "indigenous arabs" arrived in the land of Israel after the Jews started returning, attracted by the prospect of an economy moving out of the feudal era. Ironic that these people, who would naturally be the best allies for the Israelis, end up being their enemies.
It's Diorama time
Might I suggest the use of Playmobil sets 4203 and 4500?
"Claims that Israel is mounting a zoological assault outside its borders are not without precedent."
backwards & superstitious peasants springs to mind.
You'll have to make this clear
Are you referring to the Israelis, Palestinians or the Americans?
@ are you referring to
Or the country where you get a flash mob threatening to burn down the home of a paediatrician?
No, to the nation that drew the maps.
racist and bigoted forum trolls spring to mind
Moderating - the career of the future!
*applies for work in munitions factory*
I knew it!
I have recently become concerned about the flock of sparrows that sit outside my window.
They seem to always be interested in my movements.
My suspicions were confirmed after I played Hava Nagila loudly on my gramophone whereupon the sparrows formed a circle and started to dance!
That's the last time I buy bird food from Lidl.
U O Me A Nu KB
Any article that manages to fit in 'Frikkin Lasers' into the content deserves a 10/10 from me
They are all a bunch of fucking illogical religious prats.
Kinda like my own government ...
See above post
What part of the word "all" ...
... do you fail to understand? Fucking fundies (of all stripes) will be first up against the wall, come the revolution. After lawyers. And politicians.
I particularly like...
The obvious double bluff of including "Tel Aviv University" on the tag in an attempt to fool the Saudis into thinking it was actually one of the vultures they sent to Isreal with a fake identity.
The real question is "was the vulture trained by the Saudis or another Arab country and turned by Mossad (i.e. a double agent) or was it originally trained by Mossad, turned by an Arab country only to be turned back by Mossad (a triple agent)...
If it was really from Mossad...
...it would be carrying a fake British passport.
You mean a fake "University of Cambridge" tag, right?
Fixed that for ya...
@Uncle Slacky: No, a Legitimate German Passport
Yes, no joking here. Mossad obtained a proper German passport due to former German Jews' Childrens right to get a German passport.
The Vulture was trained in the UK
Since Wikileaks couldn't bring you this...
The vulture gained some of its spy skills while training in the UK.
The UK location is 33 Glasshouse Street, London, where said Vulture received some of its corresponding and writing skills. Really this meant training the bird to peck at keys as it wrote out its story on what it saw.
I seriously doubt the El Reg moderator will let this post through since by detailing the address, I've given a clue as to the identity of the spy organization which had assisted the Israelis.
Maybe Sarah Bee will want to comment about their involvement in the CCD stories from yesterday. Cub Reporter Bee commenting on CDC...
In other news...
... the people of Hartlepool have hung a French monkey. Though it was a very long time ago and it now seems it might be an urban myth.
Nope it is true
I can't remember if it was Hartlepool, but the event definitely took place. I seem to remember a similar event took place during the Great Fire of London, which was originally blamed on foreign insurgents.
Hartlepool did in fact hang a monkey they believed to be a French spy. They even have a statue if memory serves me right... The good people of Hartlepool are know affectionately around these parts as "Monkey-Hangers".
"the people of Hartlepool have hung a French monkey"
Did they torture the monkey beforehand by spanking it?
Worse than that
One side of the tag read :
'If found please return to Tel Aviv University'
But the other read :
'My name is Mohammed'
a robot spyplane disguised as a bird, or an actual bird with a camera?
Point and click
So was there also a miniature camera attached to the bird, or not?
Without that information, we have no idea whether or not the claims are even remotely valid.
After all, what a great way that would be to get aerial pics almost for free... you'd have to sacrifice the ability to steer, but if you already know the migratory route and think there's something interesting right under it, then why not...?
Nothing to see here.
There is absolutely nothing of any interest to anyone in Saudi Arabia. Even if one's bird should miraculously fly over an isolated inhabited area, there still won't be anything interesting happening.
Anything interesting or remotely entertaining is illegal.
Dare I say...
The bird is the word?