Feeds

back to article Make your iPhone patriotic - for free

If it's the $1.99 price that has been preventing you from being properly patriotic then hold back no more - until Christmas you can download the PatroitApp for free. The application simplifies reporting suspicious activity, instantly sending photograph-supported e-mails to federal bodies who need to know whether your neighbour …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
g e
Silver badge

Nice

Maybe they could work some kind of deal with Raytheon and their yeehaaa nozzle caps

1
1
Thumb Up

"Spin to choose threat level"

"Spin to choose threat level"

That is the best piece of UI user instruction ever to grace a software product, ever!

Apart from that though, this app is a disgusting example of all round FAIL.

13
0

Oi, watch it you!

I've just taken a picture of your post and sent it at threat level Red "Mind-buggeringly Insane".

The neighbour's cat nosing through my rubbish only just got 'guarded'

So, har, har.... That will learn you when the black helicopters come.

0
0
Silver badge

The perfect response

If you see any idiot taking pictures with their "PatriotApp", denounce them to the authorities. They're probably taking pictures to plot a terrorist attack or something.

5
0
Big Brother

Ingsoc

Oceania is winning on all fronts - Airstrip One requires all citizens to spy on eachother. Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.

"I betrayed you," she said baldly.

"I betrayed you," he said.

She gave him another quick look of dislike.

Winston Smith, now reconciled to his impending execution, has accepted the Party's depiction of life, and sincerely celebrates a news bulletin reporting Oceania's decisive victory over Eurasia for control of Africa. He then realizes that he had won the victory over himself. "He loved Big Brother".

14
0
Big Brother

"those wanting to report on suspected Eurasian agents"

I have always wanted to report on Eastasian agents!

0
0
Grenade

I wonder if Dubya and Bliar are eligible

Using the app can I report Tony Bliar and Dubya Bush as terrorists? They both have WMD's and lie to their neighbours about their activities. Seems that'd be reasonable if you were a customer of said App...

0
0
FAIL

El Reg Challenge ?

come on, surely we can think of a better name than PatriotApp ?

Snoop a doop ?

0
0
IR

Alright

I have got to get in on this app-making junket. If people want to throw their money at crap, I want it to be my crap.

1
0
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Stirring music indeed

Nevertheless, the $2 price soundly indicates that this is a for-profit outfit.

0
0

Pay abck

Of course it's for profit. The out of control national debt of the US and other countries has to be paid off somehow after the bankers stole everything. And let us never forget, "We're in this together". Every little helps.

0
0
FAIL

ive just

Reported a gang of dodgy looking snow men outside work. Hope the feds are coming sooooon!

1
0
Black Helicopters

Music

I hope the app plays the same music as that YouTube video, otherwise I don't think people will feel quite as 'Jack Bauer' as they might like to...

0
1
Happy

My report

All empires, just before they collapse, go thru a period of paranoia and evil doings, England in India, Romans vs the Catholics. Now it's the turn of the US of A, enjoy the time you have left America, it was fun while it lasted.

Happy Xmas el reg.

0
0
WTF?

Run that one past me again!

English in India Okay!

Romans v Catholics?

My thoughs are Catholicism came about circa 1054 and the Roman Empire had long gone by then.

A belated Happy Hanukkah ;-)

0
0
Big Brother

The day this app starts selling well

Is the day freedom dies.

0
0
Grenade

Federal DDoS

Or the day the Federal Email server give up in disgust

0
0
Anonymous Coward

At least it's not an official government app...

Japan has had an official government website for years where one can anonymously report foreigners (or suspected foreigners) for various reasons, including "making me feel uneasy". The USA doesn't have a monopoly on xenophobia.

0
0
FAIL

Threat

It's Wheel of Fortune: Threat Edition. Instead of money, it attempts to give you a little fright.

0
0
Silver badge

Like the missile?

Needs to be reset every few minutes due to software bugs that cause it to get lost.

0
0
Grenade

Give me PatriotApp or give me...

LOIC!

It's free, you have an iphone and Christmas is the time for sharing pics, even with the feds.

0
0
Big Brother

PatroitApp?

Ah good ol' patriotism, the rally cry of any would-be fascist.

0
0
Silver badge

Patriotism, ah yes indeed.

Or as Dr Johnson expressed it long before any of us was born - "patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel".

0
0
Big Brother

Un-needed App shurely?

What is the point of this app, if the authorities already have access to every piece of intelligence?

I believe they know my URL, the contents of my email and phone calls, the websites that I visit, and their cameras know where my car is and where I am.

So what's their problem?

0
0
Silver badge

Ssssh - they belive that there is no such thing as.....

.......too little information. They haven't heard about processing yet!

0
0
Megaphone

Only in

AM (we are not insane it just seems that way) ER (oh okay its the land of the Paranoid and Insane) IC (you) A

Farkin Nutters Don't even deserve a black helecopter

Yep All yanks are loud and obnoxious

0
0
FAIL

Spyware

In view of Apple's inability to make sure that apps do not send personal information without the users consent I would not be suprised if this app does the same thing. The American establishment is paranoid about terrorism and is suffering from instituionalised fear of the next act and this "Patriotic App" (sic) would be a handy way of conning people into being monitored by the State. I for one think that Apple should not be allowing this program on the Iphone/Ipad as it again undermines the trust relationship between itself and its customers.

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.