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back to article Lindsay Lohan looks to CCTV saviour in hand to hand battery case

Lindsay Lohan's latest stint in rehab has hit an unseasonal bout of discomfort and joylessness after she was accused of attacking one of the workers at the Betty Ford Centre. Lohan has vehemently denied the reports on gossip website TMZ, saying that the facility's inhouse surveillance cameras will prove her innocence. The dry- …

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Gold badge
Coat

I asked a colleague to pass me a pack of Duracell "AA"s....

......he was just out of reach so he chucked it across.

I got hit with a hand to hand battery case.......

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Joke

Pardon the punnage, but...

"the cops... investigate alleged "hand to hand battery" which included Lohan tossing a phone at the staffer."

Shirley that would be "mobile phone battery"?

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Coat

So...

Did the cops tell her she was NiCd?

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Coat

If she *was* sober...

... it would be quite a volt(e) face...

but if she was drunk again, it would definitely ampere her case. She might end up crying to her mAh...

Is a gay mobile battery a homoNiMH, or does it just sound the same?

I'll stop now.

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Coat

I wasn't drunk, I was getting my hair done

I don't think the two are mutually incompatible.

Some hair styles (e.g. the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail) must surely involve either the stylist, their customer, or both being very drunk indeed.

Just a trim-and-a-polish please.

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Bronze badge
Coat

A Sober Response

"Some hair styles (e.g. the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail) must surely involve either the stylist, their customer, or both being very drunk indeed."

Nah, the I'm-not-really-bald ponytail is just a combover with a twist.

Mine's the one with the leaky bottle of Rogaine...

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Law
Paris Hilton

Not so!

"Which would be nice, as it's a while since we've been able to enjoy the delights of Lindsay on screen."

She's in Machete! Playing a druggy slut with more money than sense...... I assume she had lots of life experience to draw on for this particular role.

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Thumb Up

I still would.

That is all. :)

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IT Angle

meh

repeat: meh

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe she doesn't remember correctly.

Ah, the drunken black out biatch.

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