back to article BOFH: Who's been naughty and who's been nice?

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the workplace, Not a creature was stirring, not even a cobbled-together robot, fashioned from the remaining pieces of several other cobbled-together robots. Dressed in an elf suit. Two stockings are hung by the Boss' door with care, In the hopes that a bonus cheque soon …

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It could only end

in tears

Hadn't used the halon in a while, had he.

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Pint

Merry christmas

to your elf

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'kin brilliant!

Excellent festive theme, nice work!

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Sir

Couldn't have said it better myself, so I'll just repeat..

Fucking Brilliant :D

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Pint

It is..

Friday and BOFH is here....splendid.

:-)

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Pint

Wow

Wow, just wow.

Excellent stuff.

Merry Christmas

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Pint

title

BOFH is verse? Must be that time of year again.

Merry Chrimbo, to one and all.

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Pint

Seasons Greetings

Happy BOFHmas

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DM2
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Gold *

Top notch!

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Finally...

I feel the Christmas spirit.

aaahhh.

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Bggr the beancounters...

There's nowt like a bit of larceny to bring a little festive cheer!

The murder is merely a nice little bonus.

Merry Christmas Y'all - don't do anything I wouldn't do. >;-)

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Flame

Why the censorship?

Great made me chuckle, But why censor Sh*t and not Fuck-all?

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Grenade

censorship? what's that?

They show uncensored here, must be your merkin lawyers demanding sanitising scripts.

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Alert

Shows up okay here too

So unless they've changed the actual story text, it's some outside influence tampering with El Reg as it gets sent to your computer (or as it's displayed)!

Fuck-All won't be censored for the same reason that Scunthorpe isn't censored; it's part of a word. Fuck would be, though (that was typed uncensored).

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Not Censored At All.

I am in Las Vegas and it is uncensored here. You likely have a web filter editing for you.

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Heart

BOFH Rules

I love the BOFH :)

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Happy

lol

Nice one Simon lol

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Beautiful!

Top marks, nicely done. Nothing says Christmas like a little halon.

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Happy

Absolutely fantasic

Best christmas present yet. Have a great one yourself!

Cheers!

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Happy

Priceless!

Crimbo will never be the same again!

Without a doubt the finest bit of poetry I've read in many years

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Happy

Love it!

Merry Friday/Chrismas, Simon

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Awwww....

such a lovely christmas tale for this time of year. And it rhymes, which is also nice.

I may read that to the kids later. Don't want them becoming an accountant do we, and they are never to young to learn.

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Awesome

Sir! I salute you....Fantastic !

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Genius!

Just utter utter Genius!

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Lovely, lovely, lovely

Made my day - 7:22 AM in NYC and getting ready for Friday. I'll smile (menacingly) all day.

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Wonderful

stuff indeed.

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Happy

Almost makes me regret.....

being retired and missing the joys of the lusers - ALMOST!

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How cruel, Simon!

I know the economy is tight, but axing your staff at Christmas is nothing short of sheer horror!

Can I borrow "Santa Elf"? There's a data center in Denver that could use a little of that Christmas cheer after us telecommuters found out we're being cut back to 18 hours a week because we overhired and don't want to lay off too many staff just in case our work production comes back.

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Absolutely fantastic...

Beancounters + Droid = <fun> <excitement>

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Ho ho ho

Merry Christmas

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Happy

Bloody brilliant

title says it all.

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Pint

well done!

After a rough week in the trenches there's nothing better than some holiday cheer, BOFH style, to brighten up a friday morning.

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Fantastic - have a beer

Fantastic writing and here's a big cheer, BOFH is the best, on me here's a beer!

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Love it

Best part of a Friday!

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Black Helicopters

I love...

...the (faintly sweet) smell of Halon on the morning...!

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Ah, halon

The gift that goes on giving.

Happy Christmas one and all.

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Festive cheer

Twas the week before Xmas, and all through the cubes

Came the sound of employees looking for lubes

The bonus in theory was promised, but then

The call came "Bend over, here it comes again"

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Ah, warm fuzzies

Excellent work, keep em coming!

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Awesome!

That was awesome, simply brilliant!

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Ode to Simon

Fearing a boring friday afternoon, I shivered,

Quickly checked El Reg, and by golly, Simon Delivered!

Boredom no more, I can happily lgo home to the wife

To celebrate weekend, and enjoy a pint or five.

Merry christmas to all.

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Nice one

May everything you wish for be delivered to whoever you wish it on

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Ho ho ho

Aah, Christmas Carols!

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Pint

We wish you a Christmassacre

We wish you a Christmassacre

We wish you a Christmassacre

We wish you a Christmassacre

And a chainsaw-chewed ear

Glad tasers we bring

And grenades without pins

We wish you a Christmassacre

And a chainsaw-chewed ear

Now bring us all your bosses

Now bring us all your bosses

And bring them out here

For we hate the boss's guts

For we hate the boss's guts

For we hate the boss's guts

So bring them out here

And we won't go until we've got some

And we won't go until we've got some

And we won't go until we've got some

So bring them out here

For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*

For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*

For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*

With a chainsaw out here

Glad choppings we bring

And beancounter suff'ring

We wish you a Christmassaaaaacrrrrre....

And a chainsaw-chewed ear

(The beer icon, why else? ;)

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Holy crap.

Your awesome.

Srsly! XD

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Anonymous Coward

That was a bit scary...

... but totally loved it.

Besides, this is the best use to 125cc two-stroke engines than pooting along in scooters. What's the name again? The one with bright orange motor case?

Stihl?

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Once in...

Once in disloyal Simon's cube

Stood a lowly cattle prod

Used on Boss, and PFY and users

To achieve his dev'lish job

That cattle prod gave voltage high

"JESUS CHRIST!" was the shout before they fried

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Can't wait for New Years...

When the transfer test will be complete. Maybe a vacation in the Cayman Islands to greet the banker in person.

Cheer to all as the year comes to an end.

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Boffin

Is it just me..

I thought that Halon systems could no longer be recharged under EU rules - so now it's discharged, that's the last we'll ever see of it? Not that it wasn't used for the best possible purpose though...

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Flame

Not just you

... But surely the BOFH will find an "alternate" supplier of Halon from a supplier operating out of a warehouse in a former Soviet Bloc country that has a stash of Halon. Cost-cutting measures, you see.

Bonus if one tank is "accidentally" filled with nerve gas instead of Halon due to a mix up on the order paperwork.

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Happy

Hm...

Do you work in HR?

Ah, ok, stand over here, please.....

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