BOFH
BOFH: Who's been naughty and who's been nice?
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the workplace, Not a creature was stirring, not even a cobbled-together robot, fashioned from the remaining pieces of several other cobbled-together robots. Dressed in an elf suit. Two stockings are hung by the Boss' door with care, In the hopes that a bonus cheque soon …
This topic is closed for new posts.
It could only end
in tears
Hadn't used the halon in a while, had he.
Sir
Couldn't have said it better myself, so I'll just repeat..
Fucking Brilliant :D
title
BOFH is verse? Must be that time of year again.
Merry Chrimbo, to one and all.
Bggr the beancounters...
There's nowt like a bit of larceny to bring a little festive cheer!
The murder is merely a nice little bonus.
Merry Christmas Y'all - don't do anything I wouldn't do. >;-)
Why the censorship?
Great made me chuckle, But why censor Sh*t and not Fuck-all?
censorship? what's that?
They show uncensored here, must be your merkin lawyers demanding sanitising scripts.
Shows up okay here too
So unless they've changed the actual story text, it's some outside influence tampering with El Reg as it gets sent to your computer (or as it's displayed)!
Fuck-All won't be censored for the same reason that Scunthorpe isn't censored; it's part of a word. Fuck would be, though (that was typed uncensored).
Not Censored At All.
I am in Las Vegas and it is uncensored here. You likely have a web filter editing for you.
Beautiful!
Top marks, nicely done. Nothing says Christmas like a little halon.
Absolutely fantasic
Best christmas present yet. Have a great one yourself!
Cheers!
Priceless!
Crimbo will never be the same again!
Without a doubt the finest bit of poetry I've read in many years
Awwww....
such a lovely christmas tale for this time of year. And it rhymes, which is also nice.
I may read that to the kids later. Don't want them becoming an accountant do we, and they are never to young to learn.
Lovely, lovely, lovely
Made my day - 7:22 AM in NYC and getting ready for Friday. I'll smile (menacingly) all day.
Almost makes me regret.....
being retired and missing the joys of the lusers - ALMOST!
How cruel, Simon!
I know the economy is tight, but axing your staff at Christmas is nothing short of sheer horror!
Can I borrow "Santa Elf"? There's a data center in Denver that could use a little of that Christmas cheer after us telecommuters found out we're being cut back to 18 hours a week because we overhired and don't want to lay off too many staff just in case our work production comes back.
Absolutely fantastic...
Beancounters + Droid = <fun> <excitement>
well done!
After a rough week in the trenches there's nothing better than some holiday cheer, BOFH style, to brighten up a friday morning.
Fantastic - have a beer
Fantastic writing and here's a big cheer, BOFH is the best, on me here's a beer!
I love...
...the (faintly sweet) smell of Halon on the morning...!
Ah, halon
The gift that goes on giving.
Happy Christmas one and all.
Festive cheer
Twas the week before Xmas, and all through the cubes
Came the sound of employees looking for lubes
The bonus in theory was promised, but then
The call came "Bend over, here it comes again"
Ode to Simon
Fearing a boring friday afternoon, I shivered,
Quickly checked El Reg, and by golly, Simon Delivered!
Boredom no more, I can happily lgo home to the wife
To celebrate weekend, and enjoy a pint or five.
Merry christmas to all.
Nice one
May everything you wish for be delivered to whoever you wish it on
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Glad tasers we bring
And grenades without pins
We wish you a Christmassacre
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
Now bring us all your bosses
Now bring us all your bosses
And bring them out here
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
For we hate the boss's guts
So bring them out here
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
And we won't go until we've got some
So bring them out here
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
For we all *NNEEEEOOOOWW*
With a chainsaw out here
Glad choppings we bring
And beancounter suff'ring
We wish you a Christmassaaaaacrrrrre....
And a chainsaw-chewed ear
(The beer icon, why else? ;)
That was a bit scary...
... but totally loved it.
Besides, this is the best use to 125cc two-stroke engines than pooting along in scooters. What's the name again? The one with bright orange motor case?
Stihl?
Once in...
Once in disloyal Simon's cube
Stood a lowly cattle prod
Used on Boss, and PFY and users
To achieve his dev'lish job
That cattle prod gave voltage high
"JESUS CHRIST!" was the shout before they fried
Can't wait for New Years...
When the transfer test will be complete. Maybe a vacation in the Cayman Islands to greet the banker in person.
Cheer to all as the year comes to an end.
Is it just me..
I thought that Halon systems could no longer be recharged under EU rules - so now it's discharged, that's the last we'll ever see of it? Not that it wasn't used for the best possible purpose though...
Not just you
... But surely the BOFH will find an "alternate" supplier of Halon from a supplier operating out of a warehouse in a former Soviet Bloc country that has a stash of Halon. Cost-cutting measures, you see.
Bonus if one tank is "accidentally" filled with nerve gas instead of Halon due to a mix up on the order paperwork.
Hm...
Do you work in HR?
Ah, ok, stand over here, please.....
This topic is closed for new posts.
