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back to article Paris Hilton meets bikers, opens up... wallet

Paris Hilton may have been keeping her head down recently, but rumours are circulating that she will be roaring back into the spotlight next year by sponsoring a motorbike team. parishilton The multi-talented heiress will be lending her name to the 125GP class TeamSuperMartxe VIP by Paris Hilton, reports Asphaltandrubber. …

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Boffin

Strokes

Obviously you don't realise that a 2 stroke engine is more powerful than a 4 stroke engine of the same capacity. Roughly twice as powerful. So it would be more up Paris' street.

If I catch sight of Paris herself at the GPs I go to next year I'll be sure to let you have the pictures.

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N2
Bronze badge

Theoretically

But Id rather give Paris four strokes than two

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Coat

Fnarr fnarr

Of course the four stroke is a "Suck Squeeze Bang Blow" engine.

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Fnarr...

The two stroke is also "suck squeeze bang blow", but usually suck and sqeeze are performed at the same time, and the blow is performed during the end of the bang. Also, the two stroke required more lubrication than the four stroke. Sometimes the blow, suck, and squeeze are combined in a single stroke (not quite sure how Paris manages this, there's probably a video on the subject somewhere on the internet)

I think I need to lie down for a bit...

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Silver badge

Ummm...

Well I've clicked right on over to the comments, but only to say that a 125cc bike could never be described as a "roaring, thrusting between-the-legs monster". Annoying buzzing mosquito thing would be more accurate.

If the modermatrix would like to give me a call when the weather is slightly more suitable I'll happily warm up 1000cc of V-twin and show her the difference.

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Anonymous Coward

Ahhh....

Or a dynamically-balanced but still a 360 degree parallel twin for that now-bearable but for the female of the species strangely-interesting vibration....

...anyway, anything but a stroker !

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Re Ahhh....

Indeed. Anything with big cylinders in strange arrangements is good for vibration. My 90 degree 1000cc V twin will happily start walking it's way along the pavement if left running on its sidestand!

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Anonymous Coward

For Re Ahhh...(L)

My old 1000cc one-up-two-down Triple used to do that. I'm tempted to say it was a laugh when the centre stand got to a dip in the ground, but it really wasn't. Who needs weights when you've got a proper bike !

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Anonymous Coward

Better weather?

Wuss, but then if you think that 125s are slow... Never seen an RS125 then?

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Pirate

Oh yes they're quick enough

Providing they don't explode into a million bits and that the rider is light enough that is.

I prefer my V4 1100 silky smooth purrrrr. I've had enough of vibey noisy bikes thanks. See when I got a full bike licence I decided, no more single cylinders and nothing below 750 -ever again.

Plus you've got to admit they make a really loud awful noise. Not like a pleasant burble.

Each to his own I guess.

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Silver badge

Re: Better weather

If you want to ride in snow and ice then that's your funeral!

I have yet to find a reliable local source for spikes tires!

I did used to have a 250cc Yamaha quad, that was wonderful in the snow.

As for the Aprilia, sure have, I've ridden a couple. Pretty nippy for what they are, but there is a world of difference between the RS125's 15bhp and 100bhp+ that comes out of a big bike!

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Anonymous Coward

That'd be

a Yamaha-ha-ha...no?

You can go fast by a bewildering variety of oxidising compounds confined in a tight space and ignited beneath your arse. Doesn't make it a pleasure to ride though, just fast. Unless what you like to hear while you're doing it is a tinny commotion like someone else's mp3 player turned up too loud, on the other side of the bus.

But maybe it is also a little suspect to be so turned on by large quanitities of torque..? Still I never saw a 125 blow a big Ducati into the weeds! Damn sure I know which I'd rather be in control of...

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Coat

Four-stroke?

If that's all it takes to satisfy Team Reg no wonder you're building paper aeroplanes...

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Grenade

... I always prefer two strokes...

...More bang for your buck....

mines the one with the GEBE catalogue in the pocket..

*icon=apposite

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Buth with a two-stroke ...

... every other stroke is a bang Twice as many as a four-stroke. :)

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Silver badge

Re: Buth with a two-stroke[sic]

Sure, more bangs, but so much shorter lived!

You wouldn't want your big end giving way at just the wrong moment would you!

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Alert

Opening the floodgates...

OK crew, what we need today is a story which will incontrovertibly prove our readers are the worst punners on the planet...

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Pint

Paris Treats Her...

...name like a brand. Mostly plastered on stuff younger women buy.

By plastering her name on the clothing of a bunch of cute atheletes she should capture more market.

As a plus, she probably has a unique power to motivate the team.

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Anonymous Coward

As opposed to...

"Paris treats her....name like a brand. Mostly plastered on stuff younger women buy"

As opposed to her Great Grandfather, who treated his name like a brand, mostly plastered across the sides of buildings people paid to stay in.

Sort of runs in the family, really.

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Paris Hilton

hooyah

Okay, so this will be my dream tonight.

"Paris Hilton may have been keeping her head down recently."

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frankly

The bore is more noticeable in this case.

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Paris Hilton

Misread

I mis-read "The multi-talented heiress" as "The multi-talentLESS heiress" the first time round...

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LOL

So did I!

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Pint

Overheating

When writing an article like this, how exactly do you plan to keep Moderatrix from overheating?

The cold beer is to her as a stopgap solution.

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Paris Hilton

I'm not so sure ...

about your opening phrase.

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Silver badge

*Only* two-stroke?

Two-stroke engines offer significantly more power for a given weight (at least for racing, where insignificant details like noise and pollution can be ignored). Bigger racing bikes only became 4-stroke about 10 years ago when the rules were amended to encourage the changeover.

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@*only* two stroke...

And the main reason they produce more power is that motorcycle style two stroke petrol engines are effectively self supercharging*... And my fellow readers aren't the people I think they are if they can't make something out of Paris H and self-supercharging engines...

(*just trust me on this folks, OK, this is not the place for a dissertation on engine design!)

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two stroke

I thought the big advantage of a two-stroke was that it would keep going in any position?

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Gold badge

@JimC

Unfortunately that's also why they are rather inefficient and dirty. The induction via crankcase compression approach forces total loss lubrication, with the accompanying burning of oil and also means they have to run rich as mixture adjustments take a few cycles to feed through to the combustion processes.

Now I am forced to wonder why nobody seems to have taken a leaf out of the two-stroke diesel book yet. Now, we've already seen that electric power steering pumps, electric water pumps and electric aircon pumps can be made reliable. Therefore a multi-cylinder two-stroke petrol engine using an electrically driven supercharger and direct fuel injection with lubrication isolated to the usual engine components should be feasible. Starting would require a slightly larger battery to spin up the supercharger before ignition, but that would obviate the need for the long cranking time on compressed air starters that relegates two-stroke diesels to trains and boats.

I wonder if there's an application out there that needs a small, light, powerful, economical and reliable internal combustion engine that also has a decent supply of volts on tap for startup. Ah yes, hybrid vehicles......

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Paris Hilton

"insignificant details like noise and pollution can be ignored."

Bit like Paris then...

(Both Parises actually, come to think about it)

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Coat

How about six strokes?

Suck Squeeze Bang Blow Squirt Blow then...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crower_six_stroke

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Joke

bootnote?

It proves only that your readers have a diverse taste in dodgy sounding mags. Asphalt & Rubber anyone?

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Coffee/keyboard

Keeping her head down?

new keyboard needed, coffee escaped.

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Joke

2 vs 4 strokes

Surprised that I have to point out that, since these are *reciprocating* engines, the total number of strokes is not limited to 2 respectively 4, but rather large multiples of those, such as:

5645386875697852 or even 8769781934538974661478, really depending on how much fuel you can fit in the tank ;-)

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Multi-wait what?!!@?

Multi-"talented"

Are you EFFING kiddin' me Reg? I thought the UK was smarter than "US"!

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FAIL

Multi-talented... wtf??!!

"Multi-talented" where have I been??!!! I never thought she actually ever had a shred of talent in her <no pun intended>. Spoiled brat maybe, too much money definately!!

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nuggest?

Is this a new Reg unit?

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Thumb Up

If nothing else

Paris could suck start the bike.. certainly up the ante for those lovely pit lane girls

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Paris Hilton

WTF

What Paris Hilton have to do with this website???

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Paris Hilton

Re: WTF

What has Paris Hilton to do with this website?! Many, many things.

1. she is a surrogate girlfriend for the more (real) human phobic uber techies

2. a sort of post-ironic mascot for the Reg

3. an excellent source of generally mind-bogglingly dumb news stories

4. a reference point for the "all that is wrong in the world today" crusties

5. half the editorial team (not so) secretly lust after her

Any other addiions?

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Coat

Simple:

Her two initials spelled backwards: HP

<--- Cheers mate, the one with... Hey, what's that guy doing with his hand in my coat?

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Paris Hilton

@ Rafael L

This website is DEDICATED to Paris, Rafael - where have you been?

And I must admit that my admiration for the lady in question has been enhanced by her apparent siding with us aging strokers. Perhaps she's been persuaded that motorbikes are about power-to-weight ratio and sheer speed, and not about fuel economy, service intervals, or the availability of ashtrays.

Of course, it's possible that she knows nothing of this long-standing and acrimonious dispute between the 4-strokers and the (now delegislated) 2-stokers. But I can forgive her sweet little butt for that. Paris FTW.

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Anonymous Coward

1000 cc V Twin? Pah

Goldwing. 1800cc Flat Six.

Three things moving in each direction. Of equal length, if you know what I mean ladies.

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Re: 1000 cc V Twin? Pah

Hey, we're talking about bikes here, not cars with two wheels and a roof missing! :-p

Seriously though, nice bike, lovely for a long cruise. I'm just still enjoying the near death twisty experience. When I grow up (if I last that long) I'll buy one, promise.

BTW, I believe the stroke and bore of my two 500cc cylinders exceeds that of your six 300cc ones :-p

;-)

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Silver badge

Ass felt and rub her

Are you serious?

Anyway she should be careful as high performance two strokes often fail with worn bores and burned out exhaust ports. (sorry)

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Stop

RE:WTF

You have just proven yourself to be a new visitor... Please lurk awhile longer (It's for your own good, really) and the Paris connection to these esteemed pages will become apparent...

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WTF?

I cannot force this sentence to make sense!

"Also, as of 2012, the 125cc class will move to 250cc engines,..."

Surely if the 125cc class changes their engines to anything other than 125cc's they will cease to be the 125cc class.

And if they do change to 250cc's how will the 125cc class differ from the existing 250cc class?

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Anything makes sense in Sports politics....

Traditionally Grand prix racing sizes were 50, 125, 250, 250 and 500. In the 60s, mainly as a result of restrictions on multiple cylinder engines and also because of some brilliant *East* German innovations in two stroke design four stroke engines disappeared from the GP scene.

These days its considered

1) unacceptable to have two strokes and

2) silly that the premium GP class has engines a fraction of the size of the lumbering monsters you guys have on the road.

So what's happening, *very roughly* speaking with *much over simplification* is that two strokes are being banned and engine capacities are being doubled, so what was the 125 class is getting a 250 engine, what was the 500 1 litre and so on.

yours with the 40 year old DS7 250 Yamaha in the garage...

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Paris Hilton

whoot ?

"as of 2012, the 125cc class will move to 250cc engines"

you do realise that this is not possible, don't you ? If the 125cc class moves to 250cc engines, it becomes the 250cc class and stops being the 125cc class. Uh !

Paris, obviously for 2 reasons.

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Lucky

I haven't got to my middle ages or had a crisis, so cannot comment on Motor bikes.

I will say i prefer four strokes to two though.

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