back to article Irish chap romps off with Bad Sex award

Irish author Rowan Somerville has seen off former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell in the race to secure the Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction Award 2010. Somerville deservedly took the honours for excerpts from his second novel The Shape of Her, including: “Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too …

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Froidian terror

“upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night”

That one's going to haunt me.

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"Froidian"?

Is the idea leaving you cold? What would Freud make of that?

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Anonymous Coward

I think he must mean Sigman Froid

http://www.conqueranxietyanddepression.com/Psychologists/sigman-froid-psychologist.php

Amazing what Google can drag up.

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Badgers

A new excuse?

"I may be late dear, I've got to pin down a bug at the office - and it's a tough one"

<- “upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night”

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Linux

Irish Chap ?

Says here that 'Rowan Somerville was born near the Tottenham Court Road in 1966 `,

http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/s/rowan-somerville/

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Heart

What?

No mention of Alan Tichmarshs 1998 winner Mr MacGregor?

"entangled in the lissome limbs of this human boa constrictor"

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Happy

Why oh why...

...and here I was, thinking naively that my Ron Weasley fanfiction was disgusting!

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Gold badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Why oh why...

Great. Do you have anything for removing vomit from keyboards?

That was the last straw.......

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WTF?

otorhinolaryngological?

Throat I understand, but ear and nose? That's going too far!

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Boffin

My Thesis

On the Gender Differences in Fictional Writings Concerning Human Sexual Activity.

Women Don't;

Man can't.

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Thumb Up

let me shoot that down for you

women do.

belle de jour?

thumbs up...

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Thumb Up

otorhinolaryngological caverns

A phrase for everyday conversation.

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Unhappy

Oh dear....

As some who works with otorhinolaryngological caverns, I have a feeling I'll be reciting that passage to a therapist one day.

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Silver badge
Pint

"Hair razored and ordered in the shape of a swastika."

Is that Krautchan's Bernadette?

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JDX
Gold badge

tit le

Those various excerpts remind me somewhat of Vogon poetry

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Vogon poetry

Ode to a small lump of green pussy I found on my schlong one midsummer morning?

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Happy

new keyboard please

Just too hilarious.

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Scarred for life...

... I think I'll have my teen daughter read some of this.

I'll never have grandchildren, of course, but I won't have to wait up for her to return from a date, either.

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Alert

Sadly it's restricted to fiction

otherwise Blair himself might have got the nod for the wholly unnecessary sex scenes that can be found within the pages of his memoirs.

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Troll

It's your own fault

You deserve the mental anguish for having given that crook more money. Go and sit in the corner of shame.

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Anonymous Coward

No purchase necessary (indeed, it's strongly discouraged)

http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/6242543/blair-the-sex-scenes.thtml

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Boffin

My friend works for the publisher ...

My friend works for the publisher who published this novel, she was telling me last night how she had to do a corrections session over the phone with the author, she spend 2 hours on the phone while the author asked questions like "Do yer think the nipples should be hard or erect Kelly, what do you think would work better in that passage?".

Afterwards she felt compelled to tell everyone in her office she thought she'd just had phone sex with one of the authors...

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Happy

Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect...

sounds like the ex has got into a new relationship again

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